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How do I cry?

B

booya27

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OK it sounds dumb, I know.
I've been having a tough time lately and it feels like I just want to cry... the problem is, I'm not really a crier. I get sad at things like most people do but the tears just never seem to flow, which is weird because I was a big sook as a kid.
I guess I just feel like I want to release it all... does anyone have any ideas about how I can make myself feel better? I try to keep myself busy but the second I'm alone the feeling comes back. I've been feeling like it for a few weeks now.
Sorry if this seems stupid. I'm just at a loss.
 
How about a verbal outlet? Do you have someone you can confide in?
 
It isn't stupid.

You are having a rough patch and your body is racing to keep up by producing more serotonin. If you're not sharing the problems with someone and finding ways to work through them or cope with the impact of the change resulting from events, you are likely, over stressed, overtired and anxious.

Talk to your family doc if you don't have a counsellor to turn to.

Tears are not always the way to cleanse your emotions, but it sounds to me like you're all bottled up.

Just don't use recreational drugs or booze to find the release. It may be as simple as investing in hard exercise and getting your diet right or it may be more complex and require short term meds to get your metabolism back in order.
 
I have learned to give it a good laugh, no matter, how bad the things may be and just move on.

This is the single most precious thing I have ever learned.

SC
 
Hey booya,

Well mate... I've got to tell you... theres nothing more inspiring and breath taking than a man who can cry. A man who can actually show emotion when he needs to ... and when he HAS to.

For sure no one likes a sook... but this is different. This is a real emotion and feeling that has taken hold for whatever reason. Rareboy is right in what he says... it really does sound like you are bottled up...

Periods of strong emotions always come and go...but chances are you've got something on your mind that you are working through. And if crying feels like the right thing to do then give yourself the permission to do that.

It proves nothing to be a hero. It makes no sense to continue to bottle things up and hurt more. It doesn't impress anyone who cares about you to not cry. Its a crazy stupid man thing that we aren't meant to show emotions...

For me, a real man truly is someone who is STRONG enough to cry... because that takes guts. To shatter those illusions and myths and to admit that sometimes things get the better of us. That sometimes we dont know the answers. That sometimes its all a little too hard. That sometimes we have to admit we are human. Its not weakness to cry... its the ultimate expression of strength vulnerability confidence and control.

Cry long and hard booya if thats what you need... all that matters is that you give yourself permission to be true to you, and that you honor and respect your ability to feel and show emotion. Those are things to be proud of mate... to feel is the greatest trait you can have. Being sad goes with the territory.

Use the courage you used here to ask this question... a question that took a little strength to pose... to listen to your heart... and let yourself go where it takes you. Its only then that you'll work it out and work through it.

In the meantime mate we are here anytime you need us... and we are literally a shoulder to cry on.
 
How about writing all your problems down, what you're feeling, what you're going through. You can write in a journal, a blog, or even here! The guys here have always been supportive. And no, nobody is gonna say it's stupid, so don't worry.

I found that writing worked for me. For weeks after I got out of my first relationship, I wrote pages upon pages in my little online diary. I wrote stuff on my web site. I even wrote with pen and paper. I didn't intend to read any of the stuff I wrote, but it helped that I found an outlet to vent.

Just a thought.
 
You people here are amazing.
These have all been great suggestions! I almost feel better already haha. Thank you so much.
 
If you really feel like you must cry and you simply cannot, you might search for a few of the threads here that deal with movies that make people cry and give them a try.

Every once in a while I feel a need to emotionally purge, so I have several films or shows that will do it every time. Some things are just guaranteed to take me there when I need to go.
 
You'll probably need to be alone and have some uninterrupted time before you are able to cry cathartically. Lying flat on the floor with loose clothing, shoes off and covered with a light quilt in a darkened room is a good way.

The tough times you've been going through have probably brought to the surface some negative beliefs you have about yourself and your past - thoughts like 'I'm unwanted' 'I'm not good enough' 'I'm bad'...You need to logically consider those negative beliefs and convert them into positive statements that affirm the opposite.

Breathing in and out slowly in a steady relaxed manner without pausing at the toip or the bottom of the breath is usually enough to begin to free the emotions. If you then whisper quietly to yourself either the negative belief or the positive affirmation the tears may well start to flow.

You're perfect just the way you are.
Give yourself permission.
 
Yesterday I came out to my parents. It went wonderful. My mother said she already knew and she fully accepts me.
Though, I didn't expect all that to be so emotional. After I told my mother, I immediately started to cry.

For me, apparently, the best way to cry is to find a good friend or even one of your parents and just talk about your emotions. Just let yourself go...
All those surpressed emotions came out at once and it felt great. I should have done it earlier!
 
The messages I got while growing up about "BOYS DON'T CRY" still have a huge grip on me. The above advice about "giving yourself permission," and letting it come is good, I think. For some, this is a thing that is really NOT easy.
 
Glad to hear you're feeling better. Even by posting in the forum can be theraputic.
 
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