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How Do I Fix This?

S

shadesofgrey

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So I'm friends with this couple who I'm just gonna name Luke and Zach. Luke lives across the hall from me and we have several classes together and Zach just transfered here this semester to be with Luke (they've been dating for about two years). Although I've known Luke longer I started hanging out with Zach more and being better friends with him than Luke, which was fine until recently when I realized that I was starting to have feelings for him. I didn't tell him because he's completely in love with Luke and even if he did leave him for me I don't think I could forgive myself for hurting Luke that way. So I kept my feelings to myself and only confided in my best friends who I'll call Sarah and Ava.

Last night we all had a party in Luke's room and got ridiculously drunk. I don't know where Luke went but at some point during the night he disappeared and Zach and I were talking about whether or not he was attracted to me and he admitted that although I wasn't his type he still thought that I was a little bit attractive. My memory's still kinda fuzzy but somehow we ended up feeling each other up in Luke's bed when Sarah caught us and forced Zach to leave the room so she could lecture me. I was drunk so I didn't really listen to anything she was saying and when she was done I left to find Zach and we picked up where we left off this time in Luke's roommate's bed. We didn't actually have sex but we came really close to it.

Earlier today I met up with Luke's roommate to have lunch and we were talking about what happened last night when he helped me remember what went on between me and Zach. I had planned on keeping what happened a secret but he told me that Luke already knows because Zach confessed everything to him this morning. Later I spoke to Zach on Facebook and we both apologized about what happened and I asked him about how Luke felt about it. He said that he was really pissed but he thinks he's fine now.

I haven't seen either one of them yet and to be honest I'm really trying to avoid both of them as much as possible, but I feel so bad about what happened I don't know what to do. Should I go see Luke and try to apologize or should I just continue to lay low for a while until things die down? I would have already spoken to Luke about it but I'm afraid that me bringing it up will only cause him to get angry again.
 
You don't "fix" things by avoiding them.

You fix things by facing them head on.

The only thing running ever does is make it a longer trek back.
Face the music now and it'll be better for everyone involved.
(I didn't say it's easy....... ;) )
 
I would apologize to Luke in person and let him know that you are drunk and that it won't happen again.

It won't happen again, right?
 
altlover85 said:
I would apologize to Luke in person and let him know that you are drunk and that it won't happen again.

It won't happen again, right?
Click to expand...

No but given what happened and how close Zach and I were before that I don't think Luke will ever trust me to be around him again.
 
You are going to continue to mess up if you use alcohol as an excuse for your behavior. Anything you do do drunk can be done sober, but the thing is you realize and usually care about the consequences. Just saying you won't do it again means nothing if you continue to drink with these guys. You nay have just lost 2 friends.
 
Any time that you do something really stupid and any time you damage a friendship, you should apologize for your behavior.

But the apology will probably not fix this situation. You did something very selfish and unwise. There will be consequences for your bad choices. And given the situation, it might be better for everyone that you not hang out with them again until you are sure that you can make better choices.
 
Ok... does not make what you did right but...Luke had a party and left his b friend and the party behind. What's up with that, Luke?
 
For those who wanted an update on the situation, I apologized to Luke and even though he didn't forgive me right away, we are now back to being friends again. The whole thing was a huge wake up call for me and I realized that Luke's friendship meant more to me than my feelings for Zach so instead of pining over him like I was before I'm moving on. I even have a date this weekend with a really nice guy so hopefully that'll be the start of something good. So anyway, the point is everything is now fine and back to normal although I probably won't drink with them again until I am absolutely sure that I'm completely over Zach.
 
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