How Do I Kick It Up a Notch?

[beatleshead]

i would say be professional and dont fuck the sheep, shepard...but its college; theres so many hookups with RA's and residents its not even funny.

I'd see how much more intimate(in a freindship kind of way) he would go; to a movie where its just you and him? or like do something where it would involve only you and him. Then whatever happens, happens. if hes willing to get that intimate then theres either two things...hes into you or he just wants to be really good friends.

the fact of the matter is, you wont know until you ask him, or he asks you, or something happens, you wont be able to gauge anything.

 

[GL]

first off it's great to see you back on the boards! secondly i'm going to reiterate volcom's questions, is your crush gay? does he know that you're gay? if you both know where each other stands in that regard then everything else is academic. obviously there is a mutual attraction if you two are sharing time together but not knowing the answer to those two questions it could be nothing more than friendship.

now if the attraction is more than friendship? you keep going out for those frappuchinos but add a movie or maybe a hike somewhere. do something that the two of you can enjoy together and just have fun. if the chemistry is there it will all come of its own.

 

[G-Lexington]

Third voice to the choir.

Does he know you're gay? If not, then that certainly needs to be the first step. You don't have to necessarily do a big presentation about it. Just mention an ex-boyfriend, or an actor you think is attractive. He'll get the message.

Secondly, is he gay and out? If not, then you'll have to sort of cool your heels until he chooses to reveal what he wants to reveal. You coming out to him might nudge that closer, though, if it's coming at all.

Lex

 

[swerve]

SB83 -- I don't envy you AT ALL...

Its been a LONG time since I've been in your position (I came out completely at 22) BUT -- this is how I would work out a situation like that...

WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IS...

Late on a Friday or Saturday night after kicking back a 6 pack or so with the guy (IMPORTANT -- allows for deniability LATER if necessary) you just need to lie back on the couch a little and rub your crotch...

Then say something innocuous like "Man, I need to get my dick sucked"...

IF he has ANY gay tendencies -- then HE will make the move...

IF he's completely straight and NOT INTERESTED then he might say something like "Yeah, lets go find some girls"...

SOMETHING LIKE THAT...

THAT'S how I would approach it...

OH -- and just some FURTHER advice -- IF he is straight -- your obsession would be UNHEALTHY and limiting you from meeting gay guys that actually ARE interested in you...

HAVE FUN -- let us know how it plays out...

 

[Rick18]

Thanks guys for your time and input. I don't think he knows I'm gay. I'm not what I would consider a closet case--I love my life and my sexuality--but I just don't go around telling everyone. I love your idea of the celebrity thing. I'll try that today.
The next issue is a little more complex. Where we are, it's hard to be "out" to everyone. There's not many guys that express their gayness in public. It's not really safe. This is the Bible Belt for a reason (I live in Oklahoma). Haha. So he may be out, but not out-out. I will say he sets off my gaydar on most occasions. I'll try to push things a little further today.

Please don't use the Bible Belt as an excuse. I live in Alabama and plenty of my friends, and myself, are living normal lives as gay men. It's not as dangerous as you think it is, as long as you just don't do anything stupid that you shouldn't do in any case, gay or straight, such as walking alone downtown at night. Even if you don't want everyone to know you're gay, you can at least let this other guy know.

 

[GL]

i'm bumping this thread 'cause i'm curious to know how sb83 is doing.

 

[954dude]

All the best to you and your crush. Be yourself, stay creative (try to do things together that include cooperation), and I'm sure you'll get your man.

 

[looseliam]

Just don't let this crush ruin the opportunity for someone else in your life.

 

[GL]

Sorry for the long delay on the update, GL247. And thanks for your support 954dude. Honestly, I wish I could say it was romantic and special, or even hot and dirty, but it was nothing. I don't think he's gay and if he is, he's definitely not ready for anything I'm hoping for. I'll just keep drooling over him when we hang out, but I think that's about as far as this will go.

well, there is nothing wrong with drooling over a guy but i'm with liam-- don't let your crush blind you to whomever else may be out there!