How do I move on?

[lurker]

I befriended a very nice guy while I was in Chicago last weekend. We hung out for a bit, chatted about our lives, and even said to each other that if we ever are in each other's respective cities, one person would email the other that they were there. He's never been to where I lived before, and he said that if he ever came here, he'd contact me, and that I could be his "tour guide". I don't mean anything by those quotations, he literally meant that I could show him around the town.

... now I'm home, and I can't stop thinking about him. I think we just started a little friendship, but we didn't really become "best friends" - just acquaintances, I guess.

I think the topic title is a bit misleading, but we never actually made any promises to see each other again. Just a "if I happen to visit your town, I'll email you." Which probably won't happen. He might even forget it.

I just want to know how to move on and accept the fact that it might not happen. I also emailed him the minute I got home, asking how he's been, but it's been a few days and he hasn't responded. Everytime my blackberry rings in my pocket, I'm hoping that it's a response from him, but it isn't.

What should I do? Should I send him more emails (and run the risk of being... psycho stalker-ish) or just forget about all of it (which might seem like the best idea, but I'm having a hard time letting go)?

By the way, he lives in another country, so it's not like one lives in LA and the other lives in New York. We're separated by differing cultures, time zones, and... a different native language (His English isn't perfect but he's got a cute accent), and now the only link I have with him is his email address. I just can't stop thinking about him.

Help!

 

[nautiboyjeff]

Find someone else or at least start looking.

 

[lurker]

Thank you for the answers, you guys. I know the answer might seem so obviously as simple as "find another person," but having someone say it just reinforces why the solution is so simple...

... but there are just times when you wish you were more than just 'acquaintances' with some of the people you first meet. Today I hung out with some friends and family, and my mind was off him for a little while. But whenever I was alone (especially during unavoidable moments, like when I'm driving), I think about how he and I would hang out again and what we'd do.

... but I'm a realist at heart. He still hasn't replied to me, and (eventually) I'll realize that he probably never will. He's never going to actually email me saying that he's going to come to my city and I'll probably never talk to him again. It makes me sad that I almost made a friend over a weekend, only to never see him again.

I'm going to try really hard to let go and keep busy, because the more I'm alone, the more I think of him... but you guys are right. Relationships have to be mutual, if he's not interested, then I have to move on. I just don't know exactly what the quickest way is to get over someone. Any tips? lol.

Damn... I need a guy in my life. Let's start something, marcholm85! lol.

 

[slickery]

You sound a bit clingy, no offense...

How long were you together?

Advice: do what you were doing before and accept the fact you will probably never see this man again.

 

[nautiboyjeff]

you made a fast friend and he disappeared fast. This should show you that if it's a true friendship and not a trick, then perhaps it will take some time to build up the friendship.

Just relax, meet people in bars, online, at work, in the gym wherever you can - some will eventually come along. Meeting people for dinner will introduce you to other people, so try to get yourself invited to as many group dinners as you can - fags love group dinners!

Good luck and don't obsess, you had a good weekend, look back and smile about the great time, but then get yourself back in to reality.

Jeff

 

[lurker]

Thanks again Jeff. You're right, it's about remembering how it was good, instead of what could've been. I'm actually going on a road trip with some friends in a week, and I am certain I'll be over this guy by then.

You sound a bit clingy, no offense...

lol none taken, I noticed. That's partly why I posted this: to vent my clingy thoughts, instead of actually acting "clingy" and emailing him everyday, haha.

How long were you together?

I wouldn't even call it being "together" but he and I were at the same hotel when I was in Chicago. I actually met him while we were both checking in, and we just started talking alot. We spent most of the weekend together touring the city, because it was both our first times in Chicago (but unfortunately we didn't spend time in each other's rooms...). But to answer your question specifically, it only lasted 2 days/nights.

 

[StlKj]

Congratulations on your great little city get-away relationship. It was sweet, innocent, fun and full of chemistry. Enjoy it for what it was. If he ever writes back, there are many things working against you ever having anything more. If he never writes back, you had a great weekend, and now you know even more what you like in a guy and how a good one makes you feel.

How do you get over him? Time, and a focus on being good to yourself so that the next great guy can come along.

 

[G-Lexington]

Don't sit around waiting for the feelings to go away. Get active. Go out, get social, maybe meet somebody new.

Lex