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How do you break up with a hag?

Kennylingus

Kennylingus

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So I have this friend and I've known her for about three years now. We used to have a lot of fun together. She's a hot mess, pretty much just a drunken slut, which was a lot of fun at first....but the last year especially it's just been embarrassing. And when she's not drinking and calling my doorknob her special friend, she's getting all Dr. Phil about everything in her life. I'm pretty straight foreward about it, I've told her that I really don't give a shit that the reason she doesn't parralle park is because she has commitment issues, but she just calls me an asshole and launches right into the next really uninteresting revalation she had while she was drinking coffie out of a blue cup.

I don't even want to salvage the friendship anymore, I'm fed up with hearing "OMG I was possesed last night, alcohol was NOT my friend LOL...that never happens to me." every three days. And the overanalyzing thing is driving me nuts...who the fuck cares what exaclty it means that she doesn't use green nail polish. I just want to dump her, but I don't want to make things weird with our other friends...how do you give the "it's not you, it's me" speech to a hag?
 
She's a straight woman though, that'll just send her into an emotional breakdown some how her issues wit her father are going to find their way into it and I'll be the evil jerk and she'll be the brave friend trying to overcome hardships and bleh.
You have to trap straight girls convesationally so they can't go all apeshit. I just don't know how to do it in this instance.
 
Just tell her next time she wants to habg out that you are busy and dont have time. Tell her that her attitude is not fun any more, if she comes to your door tell her you have family over and dont have time, dont answer her calls, delete her number from your phone, hang out with new friends and or other friends that you do like to be with.

Plain and simple just tell her you dont have time any more tell her she needs to get help, if she goes into and emotional rant , let and just walk any.
 
Just be honest and tell her you think she needs real help to get herself in order.
 
How do you break up with a hag?

I think it's until death do you part, but seriously she needs to know how her behavior is affecting you. Tell her. Stick to I statements. I feel ______ when you ________. It used to be fun, but now I am _______. Don't be judgemental, just matter of fact.

Stop rescuing her. Leave certain situations and refuse to talk to her when she is drunk.
 
Tell her that she is fat and dresses like shit.

Tell her that even a fag doesn't want her around and that she will most likely end up alone in her old age...homeless and unloved.
 
I've mentioned this a few times before, but I had a "hag" who started driving me insane. To top it all off, she actually wanted to have sex with me ("you just haven't been with the right girl yet...."), and was sending me pictures of herself that I could have gone the rest of my life without having ever seen. The ONLY way to get rid of her was to just completely avoid and ignore her. It took a year, but she finally stopped contacting me all together.
 
I agree with the others. Just cut all ties. Don't answer her calls, don't return texts, don't be available. If and when she asks whats up. Be honest. I couldn't take the constant negativity and needy behavior any more. It was starting to affect me and I just can't be around that any more. Get ready for the drama and tears. Don't get involved. I use the line. "I think we need to go our separate ways. This just isn't working."
 
Well let's see, you're going to need some mandrake and some dragons liver, a really really big cauldron... what? OH THAT kind of hag.

Look, you need to be a stand up guy here. Yes abandoning her is the easy way out, but if you can't be her friend anymore you at least ought to have the maturity to tell her why.

It's only when you've explained your position clearly, and she starts stalking you, that you can throw her under the bus.

It's not the easy way, but it's the honest way.
 
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