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How do you deal with rejection?

M

MrMojoRisin

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Okay, we've all been there! Being rejected never feels good and I'd like to know how you guys deal with it. Here's my story...

I haven't asked many guys out. I could probably count them on less than one hand to be quite honest. But there's a guy that I really like and I figured I'd go for it. After an event one night, he was walking with someone and I called him over. After asking him out to dinner, he said, "No. I have someone," and pointed to the guy he was walking with. I felt crushed afterwards, particularly because I have a major crush on this guy. I think he's the cutest thing. Now I'm familiar with the guy he was walking with (he's a friend on Facebook) and I'm sure that he IS in a relationship... but with someone else. He could've been trying to spare my feelings. The thing is, both of them are members of the GSA I'm part of, so I'll have to see them quite often. That might make things more difficult.

I understand that I'm not alone and EVERYONE experiences this sort of thing. I'm just new to the game and would like some advice and support. Thanks all!
 
I think it bothered me maybe when I was really young but I started to look at it differently when I first started working behind the bar when I was 21 and I had to reject people...a lot of people....and I would have to deal with backlash sometimes and it occurred to me that no one ever thanked me for being honest with them and so I decided I should be thankful if someone was kind enough to reject me because it meant that they weren't leading me on or wasting my time and OF COURSE a lot of people are just not going to be attracted to me...just like I wasn't attracted to a lot of other people....

So...my advice..step outside of yourself for a minute and pretend it is the other way around and you have to reject someone that has a crush on you. It might make it easier to deal with it happening to you.
 
I've never dated, so I can't totally relate, but as for friendships, I have been rejected several times without any reason or explanation. For me, it hurts being good to people and being nice and putting effort into getting to know them, but they just show no interest or only stay for awhile and then drift away. It's sad, it really is. It's any wonder anyone dates anymore or stays in a relationship, too many cheaters and people who just fall out of love with someone for whatever reason and leave you broken.
 
MrMojoRisin said:
Okay, we've all been there! Being rejected never feels good and I'd like to know how you guys deal with it. Here's my story...

I haven't asked many guys out. I could probably count them on less than one hand to be quite honest. But there's a guy that I really like and I figured I'd go for it. After an event one night, he was walking with someone and I called him over. After asking him out to dinner, he said, "No. I have someone," and pointed to the guy he was walking with. I felt crushed afterwards, particularly because I have a major crush on this guy. I think he's the cutest thing. Now I'm familiar with the guy he was walking with (he's a friend on Facebook) and I'm sure that he IS in a relationship... but with someone else. He could've been trying to spare my feelings. The thing is, both of them are members of the GSA I'm part of, so I'll have to see them quite often. That might make things more difficult.

I understand that I'm not alone and EVERYONE experiences this sort of thing. I'm just new to the game and would like some advice and support. Thanks all!
Click to expand...

Don't be embarrassed. Hold your head up with confidence and own your feelings. You found him interesting and want to know him better. There's no shame in that. It's flattering and took a great deal of courage to be that forward. And quite sexy, IMO.

Please don't turn it into some creepy drama where you duck into bushes to avoid making eye contact because he didn't return your affection/interest.

You're definitely on the right track... you'll win some, and lose some. That in NO way makes YOU a loser.
 
How?

NEXT!

Learned from this experience and move forward. The more you date...the more you will be able to read people better.
 
MrMojoRisin said:
After asking him out to dinner, he said, "No. I have someone," and pointed to the guy he was walking with. I felt crushed afterwards, particularly because I have a major crush on this guy. I think he's the cutest thing. Now I'm familiar with the guy he was walking with (he's a friend on Facebook) and I'm sure that he IS in a relationship... but with someone else.
Click to expand...

You could have said, while looking at the other guy your crush is pointing to, "Oh...does your boyfriend know you two are dating?" :lol:
 
Thanks for the advice everyone! :D

eastofeden said:
So...my advice..step outside of yourself for a minute and pretend it is the other way around and you have to reject someone that has a crush on you. It might make it easier to deal with it happening to you.
Click to expand...

Yes, I've been doing that quite a bit.

IceColdLover said:
I've never dated, so I can't totally relate, but as for friendships, I have been rejected several times without any reason or explanation. For me, it hurts being good to people and being nice and putting effort into getting to know them, but they just show no interest or only stay for awhile and then drift away. It's sad, it really is.
Click to expand...

I've been there, too! It's especially tough these days, because everything is online. It's almost as if some people don't know how to interact face-to-face anymore. It's important to keep trying, though.

borg69unimatrix said:
Don't be embarrassed. Hold your head up with confidence and own your feelings. You found him interesting and want to know him better. There's no shame in that. It's flattering and took a great deal of courage to be that forward. And quite sexy, IMO.

Please don't turn it into some creepy drama where you duck into bushes to avoid making eye contact because he didn't return your affection/interest.

You're definitely on the right track... you'll win some, and lose some. That in NO way makes YOU a loser.
Click to expand...

Thank you! (*8*)

HunterM said:
Learned from this experience and move forward. The more you date...the more you will be able to read people better.
Click to expand...

Yes, that's very true.

HunterM said:
You could have said, while looking at the other guy your crush is pointing to, "Oh...does your boyfriend know you two are dating?" :lol:
Click to expand...

That would've been awesome!! :rotflmao: I think I was too sad to think of that, but I thought it was sweet that he didn't want to hurt my feelings.
 
MrMojoRisin said:
After asking him out to dinner, he said, "No. I have someone," and pointed to the guy he was walking with.
Click to expand...
Here's another smart-ass reply, "No worries...Let's make it a threesome." :lol:
 
:rotflmao: ^^^^ Or just do what HunterM does and just not take "NO" as a possible answer. Hound him until you wear him down and says yes.

Some guys like persistence and are testing to see how serious you are. I used to do that. ;) Play hard to get.
 
borg69unimatrix said:
:rotflmao: ^^^^ Or just do what HunterM does and just not take "NO" as a possible answer. Hound him until you wear him down and says yes.

Some guys like persistence and are testing to see how serious you are. I used to do that. ;) Play hard to get.
Click to expand...

Hmmm I would think he would just make up excuses for why he can't go if that were the case. He wouldn't make up a fake relationship to make me think he is off-limits.
 
Pat yourself on the back that you had the balls to ask and be grateful he didn't snort or give you a look of distain. Don't avoid the GSA. Get back in there because that's a great place for you to meet guys and to expand your friends network. It wasn't you; it wasn't him. There's nothing you can do if the spark isn't there.
 
Plenty of fish in the sea. Stop looking at that guy because another guy is staring at you from a cross the street and you miss that chance by not looking around.
 
I agree with Seasoned, you tell yourself that you had the balls to go after what you want, then you suck it up and go find some more of that.

Dating is literally gambling, it takes courage and confidence to navigate when the stakes are so high, but the nice thing is, the more you do it, the more courage and confidence you acquire.
 
Seasoned said:
Pat yourself on the back that you had the balls to ask and be grateful he didn't snort or give you a look of distain. Don't avoid the GSA. Get back in there because that's a great place for you to meet guys and to expand your friends network. It wasn't you; it wasn't him. There's nothing you can do if the spark isn't there.
Click to expand...

deadbeatdirtbag said:
Plenty of fish in the sea. Stop looking at that guy because another guy is staring at you from a cross the street and you miss that chance by not looking around.
Click to expand...

TX-Beau said:
I agree with Seasoned, you tell yourself that you had the balls to go after what you want, then you suck it up and go find some more of that.

Dating is literally gambling, it takes courage and confidence to navigate when the stakes are so high, but the nice thing is, the more you do it, the more courage and confidence you acquire.
Click to expand...

Thanks a lot guys! (*8*)
 
It's always going to be difficult the first few times but it will only make you stronger and tougher with each go around. Don't let it hold you back from asking more guys out because you never know if the next one you crush on will reciprocate. If i'm interested in a guy or girl, I'll let them know for sure..and if I get rejected? I don't take it personally and just think I'm not their type and move on...

Roll with the punches, as they say...
 
dereperez said:
It's always going to be difficult the first few times but it will only make you stronger and tougher with each go around. Don't let it hold you back from asking more guys out because you never know if the next one you crush on will reciprocate. If i'm interested in a guy or girl, I'll let them know for sure..and if I get rejected? I don't take it personally and just think I'm not their type and move on...

Roll with the punches, as they say...
Click to expand...

Thank you! (*8*)
 
I guess I'm crazy but when someone rejects me I keep trying until I get them. It's always been a turn on for me.
Believe me it leads to very dysfunctional relationships and it's a bad habit I struggling to get out of.
 
Rejection is a valuable learning lesson enabling each of us to restrain the self destructive habits of our ego led self indulgence..
 
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