How do you find Str8 Acting Gay Men?

[TX-Beau]

So masculine men are really fakers?

I am another one who is turned off by effeminate guys.They come off too much as a women imo into make up fashion etc. Imo it just seems like a lot of Fem guys are over doing it with their act most of them seem like they want to be a woman. Its nice to see that your gay and proud but u don't have to be like that especially that guy on Lyra banks top model.

Masculine and straight acting are not the same thing, one is a gay guy who's being himself, the other is a scared little fag with self acceptance issues. Guys who call themselves straight acting are pretty much just in another kind of drag, and a sad kind at that.

Yeah, reading comprehension 101.

 

[slnattak]

TX-Beau is correct.

*sigh*

Why can't people listen to some good advice, why do you always gotta be fighting people that care about you?

 

[RoBeast]

Tidy-lad,

Thank you for your advice...
My apologies to any, if I sounded like I had something against Fem acting Men, I dont, Its just Im attracted to Masc men. Like I said, I havent came out, but WILL be at the end of this month to my close friends. I dont have any family members or any close friends who are gay, so its hard for me to seek advice. I hate the club seen, Im just a simple type of guy who likes hang out, play sports and chill at Bars. Im not trying to find quick hooks up either, just someone who I can relate more too. So please any additional advice would be helpful, Thanks.

 

[Linxus87]

A site many have pointed out to me is meetup.com

Despite what you may think, it is not a hook-up site, as I thought that very thought. It's actually a great site that covers many different groups/like-minded people on every topic you could imagine. You just find your local area, and search. For you, maybe something like sports and gay in your local area might come up with a group that you could get in contact with.

 

[USEDCAR]

Yeah, reading comprehension 101.

Reading comprehension 102

 

[pwrbarboy]

I'm sorry if it offends you, but I think that people who adopt aggressively masculine or feminine personas

You're assuming their masculine behavior is just a facade, as revealed by your use of the word "adopt." You seem to think masculine gay and bisexual men are putting that on, that's not the way they really are.

Here's an idea: maybe these masculine men who you say are "obnoxious, conceited" are picking up on your vibe. You're sending out signals you think they're obnoxious and conceited, so they avoid you. The problem is you not them.

So many people in this world think that the problem is always with other people, never themselves.

Maybe you need an attitude adjustment, instead of expecting other people to always adjust to your expectations.

 

[pwrbarboy]

Oh please, gay men who pretend they're straight obviously have issues.

I wasn't talking about those pretending to be straight. You're essentially agreeing with me.

 

[TX-Beau]

You're assuming their masculine behavior is just a facade, as revealed by your use of the word "adopt." You seem to think masculine gay and bisexual men are putting that on, that's not the way they really are.

Here's an idea: maybe these masculine men who you say are "obnoxious, conceited" are picking up on your vibe. You're sending out signals you think they're obnoxious and conceited, so they avoid you. The problem is you not them.

So many people in this world think that the problem is always with other people, never themselves.

Maybe you need an attitude adjustment, instead of expecting other people to always adjust to your expectations.

Yeah, none of this is really any kind of point, it’s all open ended and I can turn it around and lob it back at you with equal legitimacy. How do you know people aren’t just reacting to your vibe and your signals? Maybe you need an attitude adjustment, maybe you need to stop expecting people to adjust to your expectations.

I don’t know about conceited but I do know obnoxious, and that’s guys who make a point of all the dick waving and posturing that we all went through in high school. I don’t see that as masculine, I see that as adolescent – gay or straight.

We can all spot the guys who like to be posers, who’s idea of masculine is affectation, Abercrombie drag, whether you want to admit it or not the gay guys who do this are usually the SA/SA set, and we all also know why they’re so touchy about it. The gay guys who are in fact masculine really don’t spend a whole lot of time arguing about it in my experience.

 

[TX-Beau]

I wasn't talking about those pretending to be straight. You're essentially agreeing with me.

Cross post, If that's the case I think you might want to clarify a bit more because you're coming off a little strident.

 

[TX-Beau]

There are plenty of masculine gay guys, there are plenty of queens, plenty in the middle, none of these are better than the other. Personally if a guy is dependable, and honest, and I think he's hot I don't care if he drools over my grandmother's china.

 

[pwrbarboy]

Cross post, If that's the case I think you might want to clarify a bit more because you're coming off a little strident.

Didn't intend to sound strident. I just don't think lumping certain people all into one group and then assigning them labels is very productive. All kinds of people are obnoxious and conceited. It has nothing to do with their sexuality. No one group of people corners the market on obnoxious and conceited.

 

[TX-Beau]

Didn't intend to sound strident. I just don't think lumping certain people all into one group and then assigning them labels is very productive. All kinds of people are obnoxious and conceited. It has nothing to do with their sexuality. No one group of people corners the market on obnoxious and conceited.

Well I can certainly agree with that. It seems we might be arguing two different arguments around the same nomenclature.

 

[LoveIsNow]

You're assuming their masculine behavior is just a facade, as revealed by your use of the word "adopt." You seem to think masculine gay and bisexual men are putting that on, that's not the way they really are.

When I said that, I was referring to people who specifically try to confirm to one gender role or another, not to people who tend to be more masculine or more feminine. That's why I used the word "persona", rather than "personality". Lots of gay men specifically try to be masculine, to avoid the stigma of femininity, and many also specifically try to be feminine, because they believe that's how gay men are supposed to act.

It's inappropriate for anyone to change themselves to fit into a persona.

I'm very against gender roles on the whole. I don't think that a person's biological sex should affect how they are expected to act, think, and dress, and such expectations are harmful to both individuals and society as a whole.

 

[billybob109]

First of all, "str8" is not a word. Please take the time to finish spelling a noun.

Secondly, why would you want someone who is pretending to be heterosexual? If by "straight acting," you mean someone who is closeted and tells everyone he wants a woman, definitely contradicts what you want. In fact, that's probably why you are having such a hard time finding such "straight acting" men.

Before you ask where can you find gay men, you need to analyze your own manliness. There is something wrong if you perceive masculinity to be heterosexually based. Would you call feminine men, "gay acting?" Yet, you yourself have gay feelings towards other men. Does that make you any less of a man? If not, then why are you asking this question?

just to correct you straight is an adjective it is a describing word a noun is an person place or thing and even sometimes an idea i.e. like dog or house or even penis!

 

[Linxus87]

just to correct you straight is an adjective it is a describing word a noun is an person place or thing and even sometimes an idea i.e. like dog or house or even penis!

But then what of the straight in Poker?

Sorry, I couldn't resist. I'm fully aware of what you meant.

 

[slnattak]

You want to be emotionally supportive and help them come out of the closet. But only they themselves can do that. They have to be willing and ready to get over their own self-loathing bullshit. You can't do it for them, even though it's romantic to think that you're saving them and they can go be putty in your arms. Or whatever.

So what are you getting out of this relationship? It sounds like well nothing can really happen. You will never officially be a couple, so you don't actually have to work or put in any effort. Just can be a lazy fag and think of 'what if' from the distance. Sounds kinda boring in the grand scheme of things, don't you think?

I'd rather date Richard Simmons and somebody acting really faggy/girly. You know what? At least it's real. *shrug* At least I'll be able to say 'This is my boyfriend' to other people out in public and not be /shamefaced. At least they would be a decent enough of a person to help with the bills and pay groceries and be seen in public with me.

And you slow suicide internet fags will find love too once you get over yourselves and stop judging people by how much they act like a man or not.

You will not get a man that you see on porn. It's a fantasy, illusion- that's what it's meant to be. Please don't be an asshole and confuse the two. Thank you good day kind sir gay men.

 

[fingers]

I think it would be difficult to deny that gay culture idealizes the "straight-acting gay man" at least to some degree. Look at men in gay porn and in advertising targeted at gay men: masculine, straight-acting, good looking and in excellent physical condition. Look at what's featured in the galleries portion of this website itself. True, there are some "twinks" thrown into the mix, but masculinity and "straightness" are strongly favored.

 

[LoveIsNow]

^^ I definitely think it's ironic that as straight men are becoming more and more comfortable with their feminine sides (I know at least five who carry purses), a lot of gay men are striving for traditional masculinity. Maybe in twenty years the gay stereotype will be a big hulking man who watches wrestling and scratches himself wantonly.

 

[LoveIsNow]

^^See, I really just try to go for the middle, like Fred Astaire - you know he's stable, but he can be silly sometimes. I neither want do date Charlton Heston nor Liza Minnelli. I think if everyone just stopped worrying about it, we'd all be somewhere in the middle.

 

[gaultierfnd2007]

My whole problem with the idolization of straight-acting guys and the masculinization of gay porn and culture in general is that feminine guys are left out. We become the clowns, the friends and the ever present deliverer of one-liners. Where is our sexuality? Why are we castrated and turned into performers devoid of sexual identity?