The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    To register, turn off your VPN; you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

How do you guys deal with it?

DCLoverBoy

DCLoverBoy

Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Posts
14
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Location
New York
Hey guys. Well I just wanted to speak my mind and get some feedback from real, gay men out their.

So Im 19 and I live in NYC. I have never been in a relationship, never even went on a date. Never hung out with other gay guys. The problem is I don't know where to start. I don't know how to start. The thing is Im too scared to start. :(

I don't have the greatest self esteem and most of the time I don't feel comfortable. Most of this has to do with my weight. (like Im the only one with that issue)
Im not fat but Im average and I grew up being teased and made fun of by peers. They also made fun of me being gay.

Just so you know I told my parents that I was gay when I was 10 and they totally 100% support and love me.(*8*)

So now as a 19 year old young man I love who I have become and I am happy with who I am, but I still get scared to meet new people. I mean gay men my age are so judgmental and harsh. Im afraid to get out their and be criticized. I want to get out their and make friends but sometimes I just don't know if I would be able to. I feel like Im holding myself back and I don't want to do that. I want to have fun.

Please let me know what you guys think, how you feel, how do you guys deal with the pressures of looking and acting and just being a certain way. :help:

Thanks so much o^__^o
 
I would suggest getting to know gay New York. You say that young gay men your age are judgmental, but just see if you can start by making some friends. Find some gay youth groups in your area. Get involved in gay organizations. If you're in college, see if your school has any gay and lesbian groups. I typed "New York" and "gay" into google, and here are the results I found:

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&...S:official&hs=I2K&q=new+york,+gay&btnG=Search

Get out there and start finding like-minded young men and women like yourself. (*8*)
 
You came out at 10?!! Wow, that took balls, which makes you much braver than many other guy, gay or straight! So don't be so hard on yourself, you tackled one of life's toughest issues early: being true to yourself and others. Some people never can be real. Bravo!
As for having self esteem issues and being afraid of rejection, join the club! I was a fat kid myself, and i got treated badly too, even by people who liked me! It does effect your self-image, no doubt! I'm very fit now, which helped my self image, but NOBODY is 100% satisfied with how they look. I know some really stunning guys who have awful self esteem! Just be yourself as much as possible, that will attract guys to you. And if some gay guy is bitchy to you, just remind yourself that he probably has a tiny dick.
If you're in college or live near one, go check if they have a gay group you can join. Join a gay gym. Go hang out at a gay bookstore or coffeehouse. Look on the brightside: you're in New York City! There few places better to be gay in the USA, so you have a huge advantage over a gay guy your age living in Alabama.
By the way, your picture is really cute! If i saw you on the street, i would absolutely ask you out.
 
^ what they've suggested.
 
"I mean gay men my age are so judgmental and harsh."

The irony of this statement never fails to make me laugh. :)

Get out there. The only way to be sure that you'll never be rejected is to never leave your room. Get out there, meet people in a non-"hook up" format, get to know people. Relationships will follow.

Lex
 
well Dc me and my future husband are going to this supposed village in new york he tells me about all the time is my first time there.But most of the time when we go out there is alot of club out there that cater to gay men go out looking you might find what your looking for out there not in your house thinking about yourself.

..|
 
Are you in school? Most colleges in New York have fay student unions. Check it out!

Have you visited the LGBT Community Center (208 W. 13 St.)? They have groups there for every type of interest: political, social, sports, professional, etc. One group that was very important to me is Identitiy House. They have facilitated walk-in groups where gusy just sit around and talk about whatever. If you don't feel comfortable talking, you can just listen. Most of the groups that meet at the center go out for coffee or a meal after, but no one has to.

Are you a churchgoer? The Metropolitan Community Church of New York, 446 W 36 St. does lots of work with youth and they have a great music program if you like to sing.

The possibilities in New York are endless.
 
Ok heres what you do. Live in the gym all this spring. When the summer comes, buy your self a tank top, and hit the clubs *snap snap*. Hell in one night you could probably pull like 7 new guys, after a while you wont have time for anything else but boys.
 
As a former NYC boy I can testify that there are alot of mean gay men. The challenge is making friends, because that is how I met folks who liked me for me....but even them it often seemed like many of the friends I made were my friends only because they wanted to get into my pants.
I am very fortunate to have a husband who I love deeply who loves me. We both lived in NYC but met upstate in Albany when we were both visiting friends up there.
Good luck to oyu...I recomend searching out true friends and letting the boyfriend thing just happen on its own.
 
The answer for me was simple. I stopped dating gay men my age. When I was your age, I never dated anyone below the age of 25. Now that I'm 24, within the past years, I've never dated anyone under the age of 30. Right now I'm dating a very handsome, sexy, funny, and lets not forget stable 43 year old.

Older is better. He keeps me from making stupid mistakes, and I learn from the trial and error he has to go through now so that when I go through the same thing some day, it will be easier.
 
DCLoverBoy said:
Please let me know what you guys think, how you feel, how do you guys deal with the pressures of looking and acting and just being a certain way. :help:

Thanks so much o^__^o
Click to expand...

I look (as far as I'm able to control my appearance) and act however the hell I want to and fuck anyone who has a problem with that. As for the people you seem to meet, even if non-judgemental jerks are 1 in a billion there's gotta be at least 6 or 7 of them out there, and I know at least 3 just in my home town so I'm sure there's gotta be more in New York, you just have to find them.
 
landers, that was a great post. Really hopeful in a very sexy, "fuck'em if they can't take a joke" sort of way.
Thanks for posting!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top