How do you guys do it?

[Trolli]

I'm almost 20 now and I have yet to meet a gay man. I'm sure I have, but none that are out of the closet. Hell, I've yet to kiss anyone.

How do gays find gays?
I don't want to use the net to do so. I also don't want to wear rainbows and such.
I'm attracted to men who act like men, not women. That's the problem. Straight acting gays are hard to detect, and it's not exactly a question to just throw at guys.

 

[swerve]

Huh...

I had the opposite problem at 20...

Guys coming up to me -- thinking I'd fool around with them JUST because I was also gay...

Actually...

For the MOST part -- they were right...

I'm trying to think back...

Unfortunately, my brain was stolen by aliens on Friday...

I'm sure it was frustrating at times though...

Best of luck...

 

[Trolli]

Thank you!

Yeah, this forum seems nice.

Too bad it's affiliated with porn.

 

[Jeimuzu]

Gay pubs, gay clubs, LGBT societies, stuff like that.

Another way is just to ask about. One of my friends, for example, lives next door to a gay man in a block of student flats. Just obscure things like that. Of course, you'll probably be outing yourself if you ask questions like that (unless you're already out) so you may wish to out yourself, or just be discreet.

Good luck! I'm still single, but I do know a couple of gay guys.

 

[Trolli]

Gay pubs, gay clubs, LGBT societies, stuff like that.

Another way is just to ask about. One of my friends, for example, lives next door to a gay man in a block of student flats. Just obscure things like that. Of course, you'll probably be outing yourself if you ask questions like that (unless you're already out) so you may wish to out yourself, or just be discreet.

Good luck! I'm still single, but I do know a couple of gay guys.

I live in a city of 60, 000. There are no such clubs.
Also, if I were to go to a LGBT meeting at my university, or anything of the sort, I would be outing myself. I would probably lose everyone near and dear to me (and my hockey team would kick my ass) if anyone were to find out.

 

[Riverrick]

I live in a city of 60, 000. There are no such clubs.
Also, if I were to go to a LGBT meeting at my university, or anything of the sort, I would be outing myself. I would probably lose everyone near and dear to me (and my hockey team would kick my ass) if anyone were to find out.

Well, that's the problem. How do you expect to meet gay men when you're so rigidly in the closet?

I'm just saying that the two don't go well together. I didn't meet any gay guys until I came out. That's when I started dating and socializing and found a bf.

The only option I can think of for you is the Internet. That or just dumb luck. Your friends may love you but their prejudice is keeping you from being happy. Good luck in your quest.

 

[Trolli]

The issue is that the guys I have seen that are gay on campus are gay for very obvious reasons. They are feminine.

That's fine. Different strokes for different people. If I wanted someone who acted like a woman though, I'd get a woman and spare myself the immense social awkwardness.

I'm sure there is probably a gay man on my campus, that acts like a guy. Seeking them out is the hard part.

AND THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT AND HELP GUYS!

 

[tx_doc]

Is there a city that's larger than the one you live in but close enough to go for a weekend? See if they have any gay sporting groups. I know here in Austin, there is a gay rugby team among other groups. Not all gay men are effeminate but there are many butch guys (I hate the term straight acting) who are still proud of their homosexuality.

 

[Trolli]

Is there a city that's larger than the one you live in but close enough to go for a weekend? See if they have any gay sporting groups. I know here in Austin, there is a gay rugby team among other groups. Not all gay men are effeminate but there are many butch guys (I hate the term straight acting) who are still proud of their homosexuality.

That's a good idea. It's an hour drive.

I don't know if I would even have the courage, but it's something to look into.
Thanks!

 

[Riverrick]

The issue is that the guys I have seen that are gay on campus are gay for very obvious reasons. They are feminine.

That's fine. Different strokes for different people. If I wanted someone who acted like a woman though, I'd get a woman and spare myself the immense social awkwardness.

I'm sure there is probably a gay man on my campus, that acts like a guy. Seeking them out is the hard part.

AND THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT AND HELP GUYS!

All that means is that your Gaydar only picks up effeminate gay guys. Until you meet the others, you can't fine tune your settings. You're probably missing all sorts of cues that they are throwing your way.

Start with eye contact. Its an intimate thing. If you're into a guy, try holding it just a second or two longer than is usually normal. Its a lot of fun to do it and you'll get a sudden rush in your gut. See how he reacts. And watch for other guys trying to do it to you. Also, watch their eyes, see where their looking. Are they stealing a glance at you or some other hot guy?

This may help you find a guy, but remember that he may be in the closet too and may be afraid to make the first move. At some point you're going to have to take a few risks.

 

[chance1]

All that means is that your Gaydar only picks up effeminate gay guys. Until you meet the others, you can't fine tune your settings. You're probably missing all sorts of cues that they are throwing your way.

Start with eye contact. Its an intimate thing. If you're into a guy, try holding it just a second or two longer than is usually normal. Its a lot of fun to do it and you'll get a sudden rush in your gut. See how he reacts. And watch for other guys trying to do it to you. Also, watch their eyes, see where their looking. Are they stealing a glance at you or some other hot guy?

This may help you find a guy, but remember that he may be in the closet too and may be afraid to make the first move. At some point you're going to have to take a few risks.

for sure ur missing cues - how would u know? ur a newbie

and that's good

the eye contact idea is good

go to the mall - lots of guys there - statistics say a % of them are like you - look someone in the eye

take a risk? yup

when ur playing hockey sometimes u pinch in along the boards right? take a risk right?

risks are scary but they're worth it

good luck buddy

I have a good feeling about u

when u do make eye contact, remember to come back to JUB and tell us all about it

 

[Trolli]

It seems a little dangerous to assume someone is homosexual because they are able to keep eye contact with you.

My German professor creeped me out because he would stare me in the eyes.
He also said he would "miss me" in front of the entire class and even had a nickname for me. Yeah..

Chance. The hockey is all business. My sexuallity has nothing to do with the hockey.
I think finding a guy that plays hockey as well would actually be more trouble, since then I would be mixing business and pleasure.

How do you tell? From the eye contact? Is it that strange that a guy would hold eye contact with another guy?

 

[chance1]

It seems a little dangerous to assume someone is homosexual because they are able to keep eye contact with you.

My German professor creeped me out because he would stare me in the eyes.
He also said he would "miss me" in front of the entire class and even had a nickname for me. Yeah..

Chance. The hockey is all business. My sexuallity has nothing to do with the hockey.
I think finding a guy that plays hockey as well would actually be more trouble, since then I would be mixing business and pleasure.

How do you tell? From the eye contact? Is it that strange that a guy would hold eye contact with another guy?

I think u misunderstood my pinching reference

my point was that taking risks provides great rewards - as in pinching in a the blue line can keep the puck in the offensive zone and create a scoring chance - there is also a risk that the defender will push the puck past u - and have an odd man rush

not suggesting u pinch another player in the ass on the ice - LOL
then again ...............

as for eye contact - not talking about leering - or even staring

just keeping it - just that little extra - you'd be surprised what u can learn

and it's not strange at all - guys and girls do that to each other all the time

 

[Trolli]

OK, now I'm confused.

Yeah, the pinching I was thinking of would not be a good idea on the ice.
Now it makes sense.

Thanks for the help!
I'll see where next semester takes me. I'm currently back at home in a city of 9,000 people.

 

[FPNY]

I wouldn't be surprised to learn that there are other gay guys on your own hockey team. Gay guys are all over the place in every walk of life and profession. And, we are not all feminine. At some point you have to put yourself out there, it's the only way to meet others who have too. You may loose everything you have up untill now, but you will open yourself up to you.

 

[Trolli]

My German professor creeped me out because he would stare me in the eyes.
He also said he would "miss me" in front of the entire class and even had a nickname for me. Yeah..
quote]

Avoid the German guys as it is a scientifically proven fact that they have the smallest penises in Europe.

My 7.3" buddy disagrees.

No, seriously, thanks guys!!

And, gays that are not in the closet are hard to find in small towns.
There was one we all knew was gay in high school and unfortunately that meant he was beat up a few times. Small towns don't mix with homosexuals.