How do you handle accidental flatulence?

[BostonPirate]

I say... oops.... excuse me

If people are surprised in my life that me, a middle aged man, occasionally lets one out on the bend... well then... I dont know what... HA

I realized in my late thirties that I would have to choose to either bend over or breath, but both the twain shall never meet again. It gets complicated.

accidents happen

 

[Jayden]

I blame it on the cat, lol.
I just laugh it off as best as I can. And pray nobody dies from the fumes.

 

[Joshua_me]

I blame the ghost of my Grandmother....

 

[trawler69]

I fart and try to avoid a follow through!

 

[NickCole]

Years ago on a first date with a guy I'd really wanted to have a shot with, I sat down on my sofa and out it ripped. Loud and long and no denying what it was or who it came from.

I was mortified for a second but it went on so long it cracked me up. I just thought it was hilarious. I said "sorry" as I laughed and he laughed too and luckily it wasn't a stinker. Made the date even more comfortable.

Hasn't happened in years, though. I've known my body a long time and it's not really all that hard to control where and when. Last time it happened I just said thank you.

If somebody else does it and doesn't cop to it usually I say nothing, but when it's really obvious and seems like somebody has to speak up I say something like I bet that felt good or thanks for sharing.

 

[purina]

I pretend it didn't happen, never mention it and walk upwind of it if I can.

I read in The Manhattan Review that Jackie O's mother said something like "Really nice people visit the lavatory every half hour whether they feel the need to or not".

 

[hotdog1846]

The same way I handle deliberate flatulence!

Seriously, the way I handle the occasional accidental toot depends on:

• The loudness of the toot
• The stench, or lack thereof
• The nature of the crowd at hand
• My relationship with the tooter and tootees

I carefully weigh all those factors, consider the possible outcomes ...

... and blame it on the cat.

 

[fetaby]

Back when I was working for "the man," I would sidle up to an employee that had questionable hygiene. That way if what I let go was nasally offensive, I've got a patsy lined up to take the fall.

 

[NickCole]

Back when I was working for "the man," I would sidle up to an employee that had questionable hygiene. That way if what I let go was nasally offensive, I've got a patsy lined up to take the fall.

That reminds me, when I worked for a big investment firm everybody on the trading floor ridiculed (behind his back) a guy because he was constantly farting and it smelled like some kind of after shower powder. His name was Jeff, he was a nice guy, really competent too, and never understood why he was somewhat outcast from the group. After a couple of years he quit for another job and after all the hurrahs that the powder farts would end, a couple of days later they returned. Without Jeff.

 

[TickTockMan]

That reminds me, when I worked for a big investment firm everybody on the trading floor ridiculed (behind his back) a guy because he was constantly farting and it smelled like some kind of after shower powder. His name was Jeff, he was a nice guy, really competent too, and never understood why he was somewhat outcast from the group. After a couple of years he quit for another job and after all the hurrahs that the powder farts would end, a couple of days later they returned. Without Jeff.

How delicious!

 

[freefall]

On those situations, silence and pretentious actions are gold.

Accusing others for it is likewise stepping on land mines on purpose.