How Do You Handle Social Isolation?

[MattyMoonTonight]

I’m not referring to situations where you have dozens of friends or hundreds of followers and none of them have responded to a post you made after a period of 24 hours and calling it socially isolated. I mean, how do you cope with having no community to immerse yourself in, no groups to join, nobody to talk to outside of coworkers, and nothing but the news and movies to pass the time? It’s easy to say “just move,” but for some it’s not as simple as that.

When this goes on long enough, everything becomes grey. Hobbies aren’t fun anymore, personal activities are less interesting than job work. You feel like you’re just marching to an end that doesn’t seem significant enough to be considered a positive thing. I always see the same crap that says “find your people” but they're not there, it's an unrealistic notion. How the hell does anybody get a handle on it?

I know there are a lot of folks who are truly happy and content being alone, but I’m just not one of them.

 

[BiBtm64]

I'm sorry you feel that way, and that you seem to be in a physically isolated rural location where it's hard to meet people (from your previous posts).

Try to be interested in things and interesting, get out and meet like minded people - it's not just about finding a potential partner or fuck buddy. You need to broaden your scope by just getting to know people in general. I feel for you, I really do, but I'm not sure what else to say that has not been said by me and others in your previous posts.

 

[MattyMoonTonight]

I'm sorry you feel that way, and that you seem to be in a physically isolated rural location where it's hard to meet people (from your previous posts).

Try to be interested in things and interesting, get out and meet like minded people - it's not just about finding a potential partner or fuck buddy. You need to broaden your scope by just getting to know people in general. I feel for you, I really do, but I'm not sure what else to say that has not been said by me and others in your previous posts.

Yeah, I've been beating this dead horse flat for a while now, I admit it. I'm no longer talking about sexual encounters or relationships. I'd love to meet actual gay people in real life and talk to them, to try to have some kind of friendship or have some kind of communication, just to talk, but there's no one around. In my situation, getting out and "broadening my scope" means spending a couple hours and too much fuel to go somewhere that has only angry self-concerned straight people, and they have no intention of talking to anybody, either. I know I'm pissing off everyone here by begging for different answers to the same question but I just don't know what else to do but bitch about it.

I'm just tired of seeing people smiling or laughing and thinking "Why the fuck aren't you miserable like the rest of us?" I'm tired of thinking that life isn't supposed to be exciting or fun. More than anything, I'm tired of thinking to myself "Stop it, you boring, talentless faggot" whenever I feel a tiny shred of motivation to change something.

 

[Rickrock]

I noticed that you said why are others happy and not miserable like the rest of us. Some of it is their attitude toward life. They joyfully willingly take things in stride. It is their attitude toward life and they willingly enjoy what life gives them. This is only a small part of it, but worth mentioning. Hope your life gets better.

 

[KaraBulut]

... try to have some kind of friendship or have some kind of communication, just to talk, but there's no one around. In my situation, getting out and "broadening my scope" means spending a couple hours and too much fuel to go somewhere that has only angry self-concerned straight people, and they have no intention of talking to anybody, either. I know I'm pissing off everyone here by begging for different answers to the same question but I just don't know what else to do but bitch about it.

I used to travel quite a bit for work. On one short-term assignment, I was in a the depths of the Bible Belt in a small town. I didn't have much optimism that I would meet gay people in this town because it was backwards and really rural. Boy was a wrong. They had a thriving but small gay community that had some really nice people. I had coffee with one of the locals and I joking asked them, "If you don't have a gay bar, where do you meet gay people in this town". His answer? "Barnes & Noble". I never went to the Barnes & Noble but it was a lesson to me that gay people are everywhere, but you have to be paying closer attention because they may be more closeted.

The other lesson that I learned is that gay communities are like threads. You pull one thread and it unravels more threads. Once you meet one or two gay people, if they like you, you'll meet their friends and then the friends of their friends. You just have to be willing to put yourself out there and express an interest in meeting people.