How do you know when you're in love?

[mcdaddy]

How do you know when it stops being mutual infatuation with a likable, interesting, nice person and become love?

 

[country long hair]

Hi Guy, Speaking for myself I knew about halfway through our first date. It may sound strange but we were married within 6 months and have been together for 29 years.

 

[Spensed]

How do you know when it stops being mutual infatuation with a likable, interesting, nice person and become love?

When you want decide to call it that and take actions that reflect that.

Love is open to so many definitions and stages and types that it's a word that means everything and nothing.

But, like stubbing your toe but hopefully less painful, you tend to know it when it happens.

 

[Ramindra]

You will know when it happens! I cannot tell you what it is that happens but you WILL know!

 

[halubtsi]

I was asking myself that question a few months ago. The only answer I can give you is that it feels "right."

 

[ashonfire]

I think I'm starting to get an idea of how amazing this feeling is, I have the most intense crush on a boy I've ever had, we've spoken nearly every night over the past two weeks but haven't met face to face yet, though we've swapped pics. Meeting him on Saturday. I've got a feeling it's gonna be "love", I'm kinda worried I'm gonna explode with joy as soon as we make eye contact. I can't stop talking and thinking about him.

*ahem*

If I can stop my ramblings for a sec... I think you'll know, mostly because of the feeling like you're gonna explode thing.

 

[gwhilakers]

Such a good question, and too seldom asked with sincerity!
When infatuation passes and the sound of his voice or the sight of him across the room still puts an involuntary smile on your heart - or takes your breath.....when you can be together in complete silence and still be secure and content....when his needs are as important as your own....when you could be committed to being committed to this one person....then you're in love.

 

[umimherekinda]

is it possible to be in love with someone you're NOT in a relationship with? or someone that you've never really even met? or is that only infatuation? i've wondered this before.

then again i'm not entirely sure i even believe in love.

 

[timnmostud]

Truly, love is very different than that beginning feeling of lust or infatuation. All those wonderful beginning feelings, which I would not trade for the world, become other things in time.

Don't get me wrong, it doesn't all go away. I still want to be with him as much as possible, but it is a more comfortable feeling and less urgent. The attractin is there and so is the lust and infatuation, it is just different. Actually, it is better. I think that is when I knew I was in love. When things cooled down. When real life got more difficult. When I was tired. When we were mad at each other. When it just got bast the initial blast. I knew we would still be together because I didn't want to be anywhere else.

I do still get this feeling everyday when I see him come home or when I see him across the room somewhere. It is a connection and a feeling of being whole. Very hard to explain. It is just the best feeling in the world.

 

[racer2438]

I met my b/f hitchhiking in the rain, he felt sorry for me(lol) he never picked up hitcher's before. I stayed first night no sex just warm bed and food.

next day we partied and got pretty buzzed and fooled around a bit. Next day foold around alot and I never left.

We just celebrated our 24th aniversary last weekend together. I fell in love by end of week with him and I love him very very much more now.

 

[Grey_Sky]

Everybody seems to be describing the situation when infatuation becomes love and this love is mutual.

But there's also the time when only one of the parts falls in love, while the other drifts away from the relationship... and that can be one of the most painfull experiences ever... to see that you've grown to like that person so much and not recieve it back...

Sorry for being so negative in a thread about love, but it can happend, for the heart of me I know it can...

 

[screwnutty]

It's love when you both come home from work....star at each other. Grab two tv dinners out of the freezer, nuke them and sit down to watch Doctor Who on the TV...not caring what the other person looks like or smells like!

Then it's love!

 

[Spensed]

Everybody seems to be describing the situation when infatuation becomes love and this love is mutual.

But there's also the time when only one of the parts falls in love, while the other drifts away from the relationship... and that can be one of the most painfull experiences ever... to see that you've grown to like that person so much and not recieve it back...

Sorry for being so negative in a thread about love, but it can happend, for the heart of me I know it can...

It can. But true love, whatever that is, isn't conditional on someone loving you back. Their not loving you is who they are and, although it is painful when it happens, with time you get to see that and the disconnect between what you wanted them to be and who they are.

Love expresses itself in many forms and sometimes that comes in releasing people to be who and with whom they want to be.

The thank-God-for-unanswered-prayers principle also sometimes applies. Someone else may win the guy, but, as time passes, you can see the same issues of unavailability or narcissism or whatever coming up in that relationship because that's who he is. Worth bearing in mind.

 

[Spensed]

It's love when you both come home from work....star at each other. Grab two tv dinners out of the freezer, nuke them and sit down to watch Doctor Who on the TV...not caring what the other person looks like or smells like!

Then it's love!

LOL. Not sure about the smell part. Love doesn't give you a pass for bad hygiene unless you're into bad hygiene.

 

[damahu]

You'll know when you're in love as you won't need to ask the question.
It's when your partner is your best friend and your lover.
You know they love you when you get a text saying "I miss you so much xxx" when you've only been apart a couple days.
And when they surprise you with a present when there is no special occasion.
It's when you feel safe when you're with them, and safe without them because you know they are there.
You just know.

 

[M4P]

I've been asked this question many times. 10.5 years ago I got together with my current partner things clicked and we both knew we'd met the person we'd be with for the rest of our lives. I don't know how to describe the feeling, however when you get it you'll know

 

[Eagle653]

I know I'm in love when I have so much affection for someone that it hurts (usually in the stomach). OK, when you give me a stomach ache, I'm in love with you? Somehow, that's not coming out right.

You know the old expression, "I'm so in love it hurts." Well, it kind of does (for me). I think about the person constantly, ache when I can't see them, feel lonely and detached when they're not around, and I feel my heartbeat increase and my mood rise whenever I see them and are in their presence again. Lastly, I come to realize that I want to spend the rest of my life with them.

 

[gabriel1]

How do you know when it stops being mutual infatuation with a likable, interesting, nice person and become love?

That's Amore - Dean Martin (1952)

In Napoli where love is king
When boy meets girl here's what they say

When the moon hits you eye like a big pizza pie
That's amore
When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine
That's amore
Bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling
And you'll sing "Vita bella"
Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay
Like a gay tarantella

When the stars make you drool just like a pasta fazool
That's amore
When you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet
You're in love
When you walk down in a dream but you know you're not
Dreaming signore
Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Napoli
That's amore

(When the moon hits you eye like a big pizza pie
That's amore
When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine
That's amore
Bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling
And you'll sing "Vita bella"
Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay
Like a gay tarantella

When the stars make you drool just like a pasta fazool)
That's amore
(When you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet
You're in love
When you walk down in a dream but you know you're not
Dreaming signore
Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Napoli)
That's amore
Lucky fella

When the stars make you drool just like a pasta fazool)
That's amore
(When you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet
You're in love
When you walk down in a dream but you know you're not
Dreaming signore
Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Napoli)
That's amore, (amore)
That's amore

 

[M4P]

That's Amore - thanks gabriel1

 

[evil_danger]

You have all described how I feel about a close friend, but its not returned in anyway shape of form, that I know of.

I get that ache when I think about him and he’s not here, he’s the last thing I think about before nodding off to sleep and the first thing I think about when I wake up. Just being near him makes me light headed, it puts meaning in my life when he’s near, somehow I feel that I can breath easier. I’m not going to see him at all today, its driving me mad! But even if I was to see him today, its not like he would care, I just don’t get the feeling he cares for me at all other than a basic friend.

Hes ill at the moment sounds really serious, in my little opinion it’s sounds like a chest infection. I would so gladly be ill instead of him, just because I cant stand to see him in pain, if it was me I wouldn’t worry, but because he’s ill its like a part of me is ill as well.

I personally think a big part of love is wanting the other person to be happy at the expense of your own happiness. I feel I would go out of my way to bring him happiness, if he wanted to be with his ex partner I would do all within my power to help.