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How Do You Respond to "Why Do Gays Have to Come Out"?

erobert

erobert

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My uncle was watching The View (yes, I know) and Ricky Martin was on, Bab's mentioned Ricky came out and he protested asking"why do they have to let everyone know they're gay?"

I answered "because he came out of the closet." And then he asked, "yeah but, why do they have to come out of the closet?"

I didn't say anything but was tempted to respond "because we're invisible without positive role models for younger gay guys" or turn the tables and ask him "well, why do straight people have to come out of their closet?" Then he said, "She's (Barbara Walters) supporting gays. She can become a target." :confused::##:

I know he's ignorant and from a different generation but doesn't he get it by now? It's a different era, nobody deserves to live in the closet.

How do you respond to people like this? If you respond at all.
 
I can't remember it ever happening in person to me, but I think your first response is the best one.
 
Next time tell him it's because of people who think like him, thats why people come out to combat the ignorance that they feel towards gays.
 
It's not just a generational thing. Some elders support gays, some younger people don't. I've said this before. Gays aren't bashed by 70 yr olds. To think we've got a free ride with the younger generation is wrong. It wasn't a bunch of youth that passed the repeal of DADT.

But, to get back to your uncle's question, I'd answer, because staying in the closet implies people are doing something wrong. By coming out of the closet people begin to realize that the world is gay and straight and there is a good chance that even some nephews and uncles are gay.
 
i would say because hiding sucks. straight people talk about their relationships all the time, why cant we too?
 
Don't like it that when you are out, people have the audacity to want to know what we do in bed, who's the guy? and who's the girl? as if we always play "top" and "bottom" sexual roles. I would never think to ask a hetero guy what he does with his female lover(s).
 
The answers you gave your uncle were fine.

But the question your uncle was actually asking was, "Why can't we go back to the good old days where the world was like I thought it was and I didn't have to know all these things about people that I didn't want to know?".

And there's no point in wasting time or breath answering questions like that for anyone who is over the age of 10.
 
erobert said:
I answered "because he came out of the closet." And then he asked, "yeah but, why do they have to come out of the closet?"
Click to expand...

Because otherwise everyone assumes you're straight.
Because otherwise you contribute to the lack of visibility of queers.
Because otherwise you sooner or later have to lie to hide who you are.
 
/\ Exactly, my thoughts.

I was just tempted to call him out on his ignorance again. He brought up how he didn't agree with Ricky Martin coming out of the closet and how he didn't "need" to come out because everyone "can tell."

And then he rambles about some other ignorant, out dated crap about how he "went to gay parties which didn't make him gay"... Had to really bit my tongue when he called effeminate gay guys "sissies." :mad::##:

Argh! I need my own place or to live somewhere where I can live with people who aren't ignorant and senile asap. I moved in with my aunt and uncle because I thought it was a smart thing to do while I job searched and apartment hunted but now I don't know if it's wise to continue living with them- especially since they're removed from everything and live in the suburbs.
 
erobert said:
How do you respond to people like this? If you respond at all.
Click to expand...

That I'm not ashamed of myself, my partner, or our relationship, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let someone push me into lying and hiding.

With the follow up of:

"...why do gays have to be IN the closet in the first place? Well, why?..."

You only hide what you don't want people to see - which means you have a problem with it. It's no different if you're a gay person desperately trying to hide yourself.
 
Justlove856 said:
A relationship is between 2 people...NOT 2 people and everyone else....Sex is between 2 people...not between 2 people and everyone else.

Its not gonna impact no one else's life to know who I'm with, what my sexuality is, or who I'm having sex with...so why bother?
Click to expand...

That's just bullshit and justification. Relationships have ALWAYS been a public thing, just like every straight guy/gal who puts a pic of their other on their desk is publicly advertising exactly who they're fucking.

If you don't want people to know who you're fucking that's just because you're embarrassed to tell them.

People who aren't afraid of what people will say, are the ones who don't care.

Anyway weren't you the guy trying to convince all of us that gay sex went against Jesus?

Why is this important for you, you're celibate, right, or you're going to hell, right?
 
erobert said:
He brought up how he didn't agree with Ricky Martin coming out of the closet and how he didn't "need" to come out because everyone "can tell."
Click to expand...

Can tell, eh?

Because he's handsome? Dresses well? Talented? Wealthy?

If it were that easy, I would sucked a lot more cocks in my day.
 
Because lying about yourself sucks, and makes you feel like a shitty person.
 
I guess I would say so that one day no one has to come out.

I would like to hope that in my lifetime sexuality will be a non issue.
 
I too think about this question, but in a different way. It's frustrating that everyone just assumes you're straight. What bothers me is the "whole coming out process." If I get a boyfriend one day and I want to be out with him in public and talk about him with others and what not, it's just annoying that we have to preface it - at least, to those we know - with an "I'm gay" or "I'm bi". That's just the way the world is though unfortunately.
 
Bob6896 said:
I too think about this question, but in a different way. It's frustrating that everyone just assumes you're straight. What bothers me is the "whole coming out process." If I get a boyfriend one day and I want to be out with him in public and talk about him with others and what not, it's just annoying that we have to preface it - at least, to those we know - with an "I'm gay" or "I'm bi". That's just the way the world is though unfortunately.
Click to expand...

It is frustrating. Nevermind that in almost every situation where you don't know someone you have to come out then too. It's really a life-long thing.
 
Bob6896 said:
I too think about this question, but in a different way. It's frustrating that everyone just assumes you're straight. What bothers me is the "whole coming out process." If I get a boyfriend one day and I want to be out with him in public and talk about him with others and what not, it's just annoying that we have to preface it - at least, to those we know - with an "I'm gay" or "I'm bi". That's just the way the world is though unfortunately.
Click to expand...

Gay or straight, people always ask about your relationship status. Always. Yes it's annoying to have to deal with the assumption of straight, but straight people are also outing themselves all the time.

You don't have to say "I'm gay," you just start talking, they'll get the picture.
 
Why do people ever have to hide their preferences?
Nobody should ever be "in the closet" to begin with.
 
erobert said:
My uncle was watching The View (yes, I know) and Ricky Martin was on, Bab's mentioned Ricky came out and he protested asking"why do they have to let everyone know they're gay?"

I answered "because he came out of the closet." And then he asked, "yeah but, why do they have to come out of the closet?"

I didn't say anything but was tempted to respond "because we're invisible without positive role models for younger gay guys" or turn the tables and ask him "well, why do straight people have to come out of their closet?" Then he said, "She's (Barbara Walters) supporting gays. She can become a target." :confused::##:

I know he's ignorant and from a different generation but doesn't he get it by now? It's a different era, nobody deserves to live in the closet.

How do you respond to people like this? If you respond at all.
Click to expand...

Although you state he protested I thought before reading it that he was asking really why as in straights don't really do it, they bring a girl boy home it is fine. I would just probably have said because we don't live in an ideal world were no one gives a crap if your gay or not.
 
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