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how do you usually process a breakup?

L

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I have pity parties. You go out with a friend or two, pig out at a good restaurant, watch some cheesy movies, buy some cheesy things (it's how I got my giant yoshi doll) and by the end of the day, I usually feel better.
 
I prefer to keep them rare enough that they aren't really comparable.

I think the reaction should depend on the situation.
 
Badly, even when I see its coming. And I'm with looseliam: whiskey. Lots of whiskey.
 
I lay in bed and listen to sad love songs all day. Cheesy, but it makes me feel better :)

I hate that moment when you understand every single song about heartbreak </3
 
depends on the situation. this last one was the worst. I've never cried so much or so hard in my life. I loved him more than life itself. I try to keep myself distracted with work and when at home want someone else around. My roomie or another friend helps to keep my mind off of what happened. time helps. I'll never forget him but with time I am getting used to not having him in my life any longer.

so for me it's crying, friends and time.

Steven.
 
loki81 said:
I feel kinda guilty for not really feeling anything.

I've known it was on the horizon for a couple weeks and it's always sad when something ends, but really, my chief thought that keeps running through my mind is that I'll have more time to focus on work and going to the gym :rolleyes: !oops!
Click to expand...

I think that what you should do is try to make sure that while you are indifferent to to the end of this relationship, you do everything you can to make it less hurtful for the other person and that you try to remain friends.

I find it terribly sad though that you would find work and going to the gym more important in your life than another person.
 
Meh after I broke up with 'The love of my life' (who was female LOL) I just cried a bit, got something pierced then moved on. Didn't see the point of moping about it too long...

However some people take it worse.. My friend is still moping after three whole years and still thinks theyll get back together, lol.
 
loki81 said:
not another person, just this person... my ex was kind of a jerk; I just spent a couple months convincing myself that he was joking/being sarcastic with his unrelenting passive aggressive criticism before it got to be too much. if I wanted to remain friends, I probably wouldn't have broken up with him ;)

I spent a week in "a mood," decided to let myself be a bit self-indulgent for a week (ignored my chores, went off my diet), had a mind-blowing no-strings hookup, and that seemed to snap me out of my funk ..|
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The best way to get over a man, is to get under another one ..|
 
I'll react just to thing about remaining friends:

Well, it seems that remaining friends after a break-up has never worked for me... I tend to burn bridges not to be hurt again by memories which may come up. Few times I wanted some people back but as a Greek philosopher Heraclitus once said:

Everything changes and nothing remains still .... and ... you cannot step twice into the same stream
 
I currently live with my ex, and let me tell you it is very difficult. I have thought about moving out but unfortunately due to simple ecnomics, just can't happen at the current time. Some days are good, other days well you get the idea. The bad parts always come from dealing with dating others, especially if you still care for eachother. If you guys part ways badly, in a sense it is better because it lets you attempt to move on better but if there are still feelings there, I do not know what to tell you because I have not found the answer.
 
Eh, in my huge experience of ONE "relationship" (quotes due to 4 weeks, one of which - spring break when we weren't together), I really felt only relief. I'd gotten into something I wasn't feeling at all, and my only concern was to get the awkward dumping thing out of the way without causing too much damage...
 
My besties (vodka and cocaine) have never failed to assist me in processing a break up. ;)

Also... it may sound trite, but the passing of time does help. At least IMHO.
 
Drown nagging 'was it me' questions for initial 24 hours. Distract self whenever pining urge arises.
Chocolate. Lots of it.
Work on seeing / inventing the bright side.
 
loki81 said:
not another person, just this person... my ex was kind of a jerk; I just spent a couple months convincing myself that he was joking/being sarcastic with his unrelenting passive aggressive criticism before it got to be too much. if I wanted to remain friends, I probably wouldn't have broken up with him ;)

I spent a week in "a mood," decided to let myself be a bit self-indulgent for a week (ignored my chores, went off my diet), had a mind-blowing no-strings hookup, and that seemed to snap me out of my funk ..|
Click to expand...

This is very different from him dumping you.

You've spent weeks deciding that he wasn't the one for you, so you were pretty much completely over him by the time you broke up.

So your reaction is unsurprising.

How did he take it? Was he expecting it or was it a surprise?
 
-become a cynic.
-hit the gym.
-realize you're much better off without him.
-ignore the obligatory 'How've you been?' messages he'll send you on facebook.
-find a rebound.

worked for me.
 
I think I was over my ex long before I broke up with him, because I haven't felt anything other than relief. We were together 5 years. If I ever get into another relationship, it'll have to be with someone who is extremely laid-back and extremely low-maintenance.
 
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