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How does one safely experiment while staying in the closet?

K

KnotNormal

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It was only recently that I realized that I wanted to do things with another guy. Looking back on my life, I see that I am almost certainly bisexual. I fantasized about other males from a very young age, but I never thought of them as more than fantasies, certainly the thought of carrying out my desires in real life never crossed my mind.

More recently, however, I do feel like I'd like to explore these feelings in reality. But I am not interested in being found out as a bisexual or as having had homosexual encounters. I do not consider my sexuality the business of anyone but my current partner and I have no desire whatsoever to ever come out of the closet.

This, of course, creates problems. I've thought of Craigslist as a possibility, but I look at the ads and end up closing the tab in disgust. Dedicated hookup websites are much better but I'd like to meet someone in real life.

Details:

I am 19 years old. I am a college student attending a community college. I have never been with another man. I am open to a romantic relationship with another man my age. I am interested in women both sexually and romantically.

I am looking for:

A) Suggestions regarding how to meet other curious, bisexual, or homosexual men without the internet.

B) Your own experience in dealing with situations similar to my own.

I believe that what I am looking for is difficult to find, but perhaps the membership here can give me some tips.
 
If staying closeted is important to you, then you're gonna want to be careful of using sites like Craigslist to search for locals; A lot of people are on there just to mess around. . .or basically to see who's gay in their area; to see if they'll spot anyone they know. I've personally known (straight) guys who used to place phony m4m ads in the Casual Encounters section of Craigslist just to prank the guys, or collect pictures.

Where do you live? Do you know of any gay/bi people in your area that you could talk to in person?
 
Try late night shopping ...I have met many men who prefer to avoid the crowds and shop at night like I do (we have quite a few 24/7 stores where I live)..Some gay some straight and some I dont care what their preference is...Most will strike up a talk with you or vice versa...And just go from there!
 
Nomenclature said:
Where do you live? Do you know of any gay/bi people in your area that you could talk to in person?
Click to expand...

I live in Northern California, in the San Francisco Bay Area. Unfortunately, I do not know any gay or bi people.

FlaMan said:
Try late night shopping ...I have met many men who prefer to avoid the crowds and shop at night like I do (we have quite a few 24/7 stores where I live)..Some gay some straight and some I dont care what their preference is...Most will strike up a talk with you or vice versa...And just go from there!
Click to expand...

Interesting idea. I don't shop much in general, what kind of stores do you go to? The only ones that I can think of off the top of my head are convenience stores.
 
Hell, you live in one of the gay capitals of the U.S. . Try out some of the clubs to meet people. They have a great list on www.SFgay.org .
 
KnotNormal said:
I live in Northern California, in the San Francisco Bay Area. Unfortunately, I do not know any gay or bi people.
Click to expand...

Yeah, that's the gay capitol alright. Meeting someone for a casual, anonymous encounter shouldn't really be a problem. . .the only thing you need to worry about is hooking up with someone safe, sane and STD-free.
 
I post a pictureless profile online and look at other profiles with pictures. I write them and send a picture when I write them and tell them I'm not out. You either get a response or not. If you do get a response they know the deal.
 
Have you tried your local adult book store? They usually have a video viewing section in the back and there is usually some action going on there.
 
squirt.org i have meet 4 guys (both 3 somes) on there. to be fair i have now found out that i am straight just enjoy lookin at anything sexual.. i.e. if its gay porn then fine! but i prefer straight porn and the guy thing didnt really do it for me hence trying twice to find out for sure!
 
Wow you live in the bay area go to the clubs and beaches and stuff. I thought u lived in a boring small town San Francisco is a big city im sure no one is going to catch you with a guy
 
Word to the wise--be prepared emotionally and sexually when u eventually have sex with your woman again. M2M sex can mess with performance.....my experience is imagination with a little guilt thrown in. There is a little truth to "bi now, gay later." And for Gods sake don't give her anything.
 
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