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How i feel about coming out.

ladude2011 said:
Just because you say its no one's business doesnt mean you are ashamed of it. Some people just like to keep things private. How much money is in my bank account is no one's business, doesnt mean im ashamed of it. Where i went to college, what kind of underwear i use, are all things that are nobody's business doesnt mean im ashamed. As far as straight guy not caring if people know he's straight, that may be tru, but he also doesn't make an announcement, which is the OP's point of discussion.
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Straight guys don't have to. And yes, you don't have to wear a rainbow flag on your chest, but there are hundreds little ways in which we lie to the world, either actively, or by just keeping silent when we know it would give the wrong impression to others. And that IS shame. Fear of how others will respond if they know this shameful thing about us.

When it's anything but.
 
youfiad said:
I can see your point about comparing coming out as straight and coming out as gay may seem like a weird thing to do. But that's a very direct route. You can come out to people in more natural ways, like talking about who you find attractive, or if somebody asks you if you have a girlfriend, you would naturally say, "No, I'm gay". Or if somebody asks you, then tell the trust. Being in the closet is more of the act of hiding what you are from people even when confronted with real situations and has nothing to do with going around telling everybody you're gay. I have never told anybody that I am gay, directly. They either ask, or they find out. I'm not going to advertise my sexuality, because, likke you, I don't see the point.
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I think your approach is the best. No need to advertise. If people find out, then fine. But its the need to "come out" that stresses people out the most. i think the natural process is good, except in cases like Benvolio says, its going to hurt people or cause discrimination, etc.
 
Like I said have no shame/guilt by not telling my friends I've known for years. Just because I know they wont care, they'll probably just saying something along lines like "thats cool" . I am bi, so not exactly im living a total lie when I talk about girls. 2 days ago I made an account on a gay datting site okcupid.com and have started to talking to couple guys on campus. One guy who saw my profile, I know from before hand. He lives in same dorm as I do, I usually see him when smoking outside, and we have short talks. Tonight him and I were alone, and asked if i was gay. I Just said yes, I know its not really anything big, telling another gay person, but was the first person I told who isnt online. So was a nice step.
 
ZmercTheDuke said:
Like I said have no shame/guilt by not telling my friends I've known for years. Just because I know they wont care, they'll probably just saying something along lines like "thats cool" . I am bi, so not exactly im living a total lie when I talk about girls. 2 days ago I made an account on a gay datting site okcupid.com and have started to talking to couple guys on campus. One guy who saw my profile, I know from before hand. He lives in same dorm as I do, I usually see him when smoking outside, and we have short talks. Tonight him and I were alone, and asked if i was gay. I Just said yes, I know its not really anything big, telling another gay person, but was the first person I told who isnt online. So was a nice step.
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It's a pretty liberating feeling, isn't it?! I remember the first person I told and it just felt like I was free. I have never had a bad response from people finding out either. Actually, I've only ever told one person. The others asked questions and found out by my answers. So, yeah. to each his own. No way of coming out is better than others.

So do you like this Mr Smoker at your dorm?
 
Yeah, that's a good way of putting it. I wish I'd thought of saying it. Until you are out, you don't really know who you are, because you don't know how the real you - the one that doesn't hide himself - would respond to a huge number of real world situations.
 
Remember hearing on Radio prog once that the way to figure out what you prefer is by answering the question.
"Who do you think of when you're jerking off", or words to that effect.

Wonder if it really works:confused:
 
I came out to my roommate today, and 3 my friends last week when I was back in my hometown. All great responses. My roommate made me laugh, he just said in his Brazilian acent' once you go homo you never go back". I also started talking to this one guy on dating site and we have date set on saturday, if you seen my other post on hot topics. I cant believe starting coming out, when couple weeks ago I had no intention to do. Anyways it does feel good, even though not exactly sneezing glitter. Thanks for your support guys, YOU FUCKIN AWESOME! :D
 
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