How long does it take to get over someone?

[tjjjames]

I would like to get some advice on how long, and how to get over a relationship. I was with my boyfriend for 3 years and we broke up about 8 months ago. We did have a fantastic relationship the majority of the time, but there were many occasions when he did hurt me quite badly and I tried to make him aware of this but he could not see how. I still loved him more and more even still, but he has now finished the relationship and I am left not being able to get over it.
It's been a long while now and I thought I would start feeling better. I am generally ok throughout the day, but then have major relapses of what I can only describe as depression. I can't meet anyone else because I still feel as if I am in love with my ex and I can't seem to feel anything for anyone else.
Advice would be much appreciated

 

[loveguys72]

There's no set rule for how long it takes to get over a relationship. Clearly, you had very deep feelings for this man. They didn't develop overnight, and I suspect it will take you a long while to get to a place where you can be at peace with this relationship being over. I'd just say go about your life and don't even try at this point to start a new romantic relationship. Take pleasure in your family and friends, and whatever hobbies you enjoy. In time, you'll find that the hurt lessens to a point where you can consider other men.

I wish you all the best.

 

[borg69unimatrix]

If he hurt you and you still want to be with him after 8 months you might be independent.

 

[Seasoned]

^I agree. The best thing that you can do is to force yourself to keep up with interests and family and friends. It's always best to grieve the last relationship before even thinking about beginning another. There's no set time but most experts say it takes a year, but only if you remain active and interested in life. And that's why I suggest forcing yourself to do things when you'd rather mope.

Your action together with time will work to heal you.

Best wishes. I'm sorry the relationship ended.

 

[yhtang]

It will take as long as it takes to get over someone. It is especially hard if it was your first.

If it is any consolation, after a relationship of three years, it would not have been much of a relationship if you could just forget him in a day.

You can try to mitigate the feeling of loss, or hasten the mourning period, by involving yourself in doing something that is meaningful to you.

It is good to know that, after these eight months, you have slowly began to get used to him not being around. In time, you would think less frequently of him; give yourself a chance and go meet other people - not to form relationship and definitely not on a rebound, but just to be with some people. Hope this helps, and I wish you the best.

 

[borg69unimatrix]

If he hurt you and you still want to be with him after 8 months you might be independent.

oops- I meant to say co- dependent. Damn auto correct!

 

[AlmondMilk]

It seems like it takes some people 5 seconds to get over someone. It really just depends on the person. You were with this person for 3 years. I feel like 8 months would be too quick to get completely over him. I do believe that at this point you should be, for the most part over him. I guess it's not really set in stone though.