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How mean is this :(

All of you hold up.

None of us, save the poster, knows the entire story. What if this straight guy really did just let his own lack of inhibition get the better of him, and realizing the next day what he did, decided to distance himself? I know it doesn't excuse him, but what he said really sounded like a cheap way to say "last night was a mistake, never gonna' happen again". Sure he could've said it better, but we can't expect everyone to handle any situation like 007.

I don't know, I just find it highly improbable that a person would "test" in such a way. Of course, I don't meet too much pricks in my Uni, so I digress.

Point is, have your friend ask him if what they did really was just some experiment. Have him put on the 'hurt puppy' look - - that should help force a real answer from the straight guy. Oh, and don't do it in a place where there's just more than the two of them. have it somewhere straight boy won't feel pressured to lie.

If he still pledges that the entire thing was just a badly thought-out experiment, then tell your friend to have a crowbar ready so he can bust some f*cking kneecaps.
 
Marvels said:
All of you hold up.

None of us, save the poster, knows the entire story.
Click to expand...

True. But we can only go by, and give our opinions on, what we're told ;)

Without knowing the entire situation, we're kinda forced to draw our own conclusions.
 
Yeah, of course, I totally understand.

I just noticed that almost everybody here was quick to jump to the "he's an asshole" bandwagon before, you know, digging deeper.

Just, I have this straight friend who I like. And he's the type of guy who could say something like that, but I'd understand if he would because he has like, total mental issues - - sees a psychologist and everything. So yeah, shades of grey and all that.
 
No, the straight guy IS an asshole and this is why:

1 - I've met him, and he's a really smart person who would definitely be able to think about his actions and how they would affect his friend - drunk or not.

2 - My gay friend has had EXTENSIVE talks with the straight guy about his feelings for him, on several different occasions. By extensive talks, I mean hours and hours. There's no way the straight guy didn't understand the extent of his emotions.

3 - The straight guy is the one who lured my gay friend into staying overnight. My gay friend was VERY RELUCTANT b/c he knew they had been drinking and said no to him over and over again before finally giving in... (maybe he shouldn't have, but can you really blame him??? love is a powerful thing).


Anyway, this isn't even a gay/straight issue. If a girl was madly in love with a guy and he KNEW it, but decided to take advantage of her anyway, it would still hurt just as badly and vice versa. The part that sucks is my gay friend now thinks his straight buddy is "disgusted" with him and is really embarrassed about the whole thing, not to mention incredibly depressed. Basically he got a taste of something he'll never be able to have again, and it doesn't help the straight guy is acting like it's no big deal.

OH and furthermore, the straight guy talked to him today and asked him if he wanted to come hang out tonight and meet this new "hot girl" he likes...................

Hence, ASSHOLE!!
 
You're right, he is a asshole.

On a related note, if there's a person who can set this whole thing straight, it'd be your friend. We can't do shit; you asked us what we think and it really didn't matter because you had an answer to the question all along. But that's not the point.

I say your friend should go to straight guys' house again tonight. And I figure he should be the one to tell his friend that their friendship is no longer there.

Now I have to ask, where do you fit into all of this?
 
where do i fit in?

well, this gay guy and i used to date a long time ago, and although we're no longer in love we still care about each other a lot. and he asked me kindly not to beat the living shit out of the straight guy, so i feel sort of powerless right now b/c i can't even say anything to him. i guess i'm just venting here. but thanks for all the feedback :)
 
Adam2299 said:
where do i fit in?

well, this gay guy and i used to date a long time ago, and although we're no longer in love we still care about each other a lot. and he asked me kindly not to beat the living shit out of the straight guy, so i feel sort of powerless right now b/c i can't even say anything to him. i guess i'm just venting here. but thanks for all the feedback :)
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Yeah, it was kind of obvious that you carried a torch. That's why you shouldn't interfere. At all.

This is his fight, but you be there to make sure that you're there for him when he staggers a few. You're a good friend. He's lucky to have you.

Now, here's the deal. If your friend and this new guy come to a compromise then let the healing begin. If he hurts your friend again however, then that's your cue to bring the 2x4.
 
Adam2299 said:
No, the straight guy IS an asshole and this is why:

1 - I've met him, and he's a really smart person who would definitely be able to think about his actions and how they would affect his friend - drunk or not.

2 - My gay friend has had EXTENSIVE talks with the straight guy about his feelings for him, on several different occasions. By extensive talks, I mean hours and hours. There's no way the straight guy didn't understand the extent of his emotions.

3 - The straight guy is the one who lured my gay friend into staying overnight. My gay friend was VERY RELUCTANT b/c he knew they had been drinking and said no to him over and over again before finally giving in... (maybe he shouldn't have, but can you really blame him??? love is a powerful thing).


Anyway, this isn't even a gay/straight issue. If a girl was madly in love with a guy and he KNEW it, but decided to take advantage of her anyway, it would still hurt just as badly and vice versa. The part that sucks is my gay friend now thinks his straight buddy is "disgusted" with him and is really embarrassed about the whole thing, not to mention incredibly depressed. Basically he got a taste of something he'll never be able to have again, and it doesn't help the straight guy is acting like it's no big deal.

OH and furthermore, the straight guy talked to him today and asked him if he wanted to come hang out tonight and meet this new "hot girl" he likes...................

Hence, ASSHOLE!!
Click to expand...

Never, ever doubt the stupidity of people who are drunk, high, stoned, or any combination thereof.

What he did was awful, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. However, I don't know if that makes him an awful person from what you have provided.

I fell for the typical love your straight best friend crap. Nothing ever happened, but I can sympathize with both sides of it, mostly your gay friend though.


But anyways, be there for your friend and I am sorry he is so crushed, and understandably so. I don't know why the friend is being such a prick at the moment, there are so many reasons (presumably there is a good person somewhere in there). Tell him to hang in there, the love goes away mostly, and the hurt does away eventually. :(.
 
Adam2299 said:
OH and furthermore, the straight guy talked to him today and asked him if he wanted to come hang out tonight and meet this new "hot girl" he likes...................
Click to expand...


I would have give my answer with a right pucnh to the face and then followed that up with a right uppercut.

Now I don't believe in violence and I don't like getting into fights. But I would shed no tear if somebody in a ski mask did a number on this guy.


Just a thought. Not encouraging anything here to happen! wishful thinking more or less! :D
 
Soilwork said:
well, before we get TOO down on the straight guy...

they just don't understand how we feel when we're in love.. its not real to them.

He was horny and wanted to try it once.. he did.. with a gay friend he trusted.

Yes, the results are a broken heart, but I don't think he was smart enough to think that far ahead.

THIS is why I always say the advice of getting a guy drunk is REALLY bad advice.
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You. Sir. Are the smartest man alive.

Dead on! (Like you usually are...)

I'm about to call you a sage in a minute!

The straight guy probably doesn't understand the feelings involved with being gay and emotionally attracted.
He probably thought his gay friend would handle sex like the stereotypical straight man:

"Slam. Bam. Thank you, Ma'am."

Straight men do not get emotional or attached after sex, and it's likely that he didn't expect his friend to either.
 
Oh, I'm not defending him, really.. just pointing out that having sex with a straight friend who's drunk is NEVER a good idea, and all gay men really need to learn that.

Yeah, I think it's also part true that he may have felt he was doing his friend a favour... giving him what he wants.

I'm convinced that straight men don't feel love like gay men.

I'm also convinced that straight men CAN'T understand how yearning for a straight man who's incapable of returning your feelings is a devistating thing, and that we'll do anything to think there's a glimmer of hope that he COULD be capable.

So yeah... your probably right.. he was an asshole, but he was being honest, too.

He wanted to try it once, and then he didn't like it. It was a turn off.

I've heard that from enough straight men who wanted to try it once. "I just wanted to try it once. And sex with you was gross. Sorry, but I did it with you and I NEVER want to EVER do it with a guy again, because it was repulsive."
 
yea, but don't you think the fact that he thought it was "repulsive" was the most hurtful part? :(

ugh. sorry, i'm biased. i love my friend, i can't help it.
 
of course it was.

but it was also honest.

straight men can be really clueless. No wonder women hate them so much.
 
Cold. And definitely not a friend. Tell your friend to drop kick his ass, because his best friend certainly wasn't feeling mutual about it.

Or...maybe his best friend was also weirded out by it and put up a condescending front because he feels confused and guilty.
 
luminum said:
Cold. And definitely not a friend. Tell your friend to drop kick his ass, because his best friend certainly wasn't feeling mutual about it.

Or...maybe his best friend was also weirded out by it and put up a condescending front because he feels confused and guilty.
Click to expand...

I'm going to disagree with you just for the sake of it.
 
the straight guy is gay too and just is too scared to admit it.
when he was drunk he was himself,he wasnt that scared.
i dont think that a friend would do that to a good friend,otherwise.
the straight guy just cant admit it he is gay too.
 
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