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How old is too old?

son1fan

son1fan

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So what do you think the proper age gap for people hooking up is? Im 20 about to be 21 and I changed my perspective on what I think is attractive(i used to be all twiinks and chilfs) but now that im getting older im finding older men attractive. Some insight would be helpful.
 
Personal preference.

That's all, there's no rule of thumb or 'code of conduct', just whatever age you're comfortable dating and are attracted to (and assuming it doesn't fall into the pedo range of course).

edit: In my case, I'm 21; and I sort of start feeling weird about it once the guy is nearing their 40's. But a large part of that is due to my lingering immaturity; so I find my personality doesn't tend to mesh with older people that well, mostly because I still have the mentality of a dumb kid, and they've typically moved off from that.
 
Im with you. But this guy is in his late 40's and hes tempting me with beer and whatnot and i'mvery vulnerable at this point in time.
 
tempting you with beer, lol. Hey clevelander! I'm only 33 ;)

I wouldn't base anything on how you think others are going to perceive you, base it on how you feel about the person. If he's a cool guy (and not a creeper) then go for it if you want to.
 
son1fan said:
Im with you. But this guy is in his late 40's and hes tempting me with beer and whatnot and i'mvery vulnerable at this point in time.
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Age is age. If you find this man attractive then by all means get to know him better. However, you also state that you are vulnerable at this point in time. You might want to be sure he is not trying to take advantage of that vulnerability just to get into your pants, unless, of course, you would like that
 
son1fan said:
So what do you think the proper age gap for people hooking up is? Im 20 about to be 21 and I changed my perspective on what I think is attractive(i used to be all twiinks and chilfs) but now that im getting older im finding older men attractive. Some insight would be helpful.
Click to expand...

It's not about age exactly my friend..
It's about what you may have in common with someone.
Depends on what you want.. if you find older guys attractive just for sex, well then have it with them..

If you are looking for a ltr... well then you have to consider the age difference more carefully..
I mean there may be great difference in what you two have in common such as music, friends, family, etc.

Sex is one thing, but a ltr is different. Many things that you relate to your older mate may not understand, and vice versa..

I figure it boils down to if you just want sex a few times with an older guy or you want to have an older guy for a partner long term.

That is your call.
I've talked to many guys on jub during my time here... some have mates that are 15 years apart in age...
I wish you well my friend.
I doubt this helped too much.
but you know my name here.. so you can pm if you want to talk more..
 
son1fan said:
Im with you. But this guy is in his late 40's and hes tempting me with beer and whatnot and i'mvery vulnerable at this point in time.
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Well, do you want to have sex with him?

Is he the only guy you're out to?
 
Well, I just recently started seeing this guy, and he is much older than I am. I am 25, he is 52. We have a lot in common, he always makes me smile, and we really get along great. The only issue I am having is what everyone else thinks. I know its not about what everyone thinks, so I am trying to work through that. I have always been attracted to older guys. As a matter of fact, all my best friends are older, whether they are gay friends or straight friends, its just the type of person I like to be around. I guess I am very mature for my age. But back on topic, there is no certain age difference that is acceptable, it is all relative, as they say
 
son1fan said:
Im with you. But this guy is in his late 40's and hes tempting me with beer and whatnot and i'mvery vulnerable at this point in time.
Click to expand...

This post puts up a red flag. Nothing to do with the age, but the "tempting me with beer and whatnot" has me a bit concerned for you. Anyone who would need to attract you with alcoholic beverages (not to mention whatever falls into the whatnot category - money, drugs, ??? ) sounds way too dangerous for a young man barely starting his adult life. He shouldn't need to "tempt" you with anything. At least nothing beyond his dashing good looks and exciting personality.

If you decide to go through with him be very careful.
 
I agree with Willie Boy. Tempting you with beer? That sounds pretty messed up in my book. But outside of that, as long as you're both of legal consent and comfortable with it, then by all means go for it.

In my own experience, I did go out with a girl who was technically still a teenager (19) and there was >10 year age gap. Personally, I was uncomfortable with it initially, and I also felt like I was taking advantage of her due to yer younger age and inexperience. But we both liked each other and pursued it. Unfortunately, she's moved back to her home country, but we'd probably be together now honestly if she hadn't--despite the age difference. Albeit, this is not as huge an age gap as in your case, and it was with a girl not a guy. I've had no experience in this situation with a dude, so I can only base it on what I know from my own life.
 
If he is tempting you with alcohol then he is only taking advantage of you. A genuine person would not offer anything other than themselves to you, its up to you to take it or leave it.

BTW who cares about the age gap unless you are comfortable with it. Its pretty much subjective.
 
son1fan said:
So what do you think the proper age gap for people hooking up is? Im 20 about to be 21 and I changed my perspective on what I think is attractive(i used to be all twiinks and chilfs) but now that im getting older im finding older men attractive. Some insight would be helpful.
Click to expand...

it's great that you're evolving in ur attractions

makes the pool bigger

and i wonder if it's just a physical attraction to older guys or their personalities/maturity that ur finding interesting

for dating purposes i think younger/older means nada

for long term u have to make sure u have stuff in common

while opposites do attract at some point i think some level of "being on the same page" is good

some younger guys think older guys are OLD
some younger guys think older guys are mature, sexy, interesting

this is a great topic

good luck
 
lurchinurchin said:
Well in Powell you are in luck with ANYTHING...go for it. Slim pickings!!!! But seriously (and I have NO idea where Powell is...) don't worry about what others think! The age difference isn't so important if there is a chance at an ltr. Hope it works out. Sorry not to be more specific but not a lot to go on from your post. You might want to flesh out what all you have in common. Since you just recently started seeing him there MAY not be a lot to go on yet. Continue to see him regularly and keep us posted!
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You say Powell is slim pickins, dont I know it. Its actually gotten a lot better lately. I know of three gay men within 10 miles of me, two on my road. How do you know about Powell? Are you from TN as well? Maybe I will start my own post once I have more to tell
 
Subtract 7
Multiply by two.

For instance, I'm 22. The oldest I'll go is 30.

That's what they say, at least. It really depends on the person. I'd probably go for 35, if it's a relationship, and 50 if it's just a fuck.
 
son1fan said:
Im with you. But this guy is in his late 40's and hes tempting me with beer and whatnot and i'mvery vulnerable at this point in time.
Click to expand...

Sounds like you already know what it is all about---can't put the blame on him if your eyes are open to it can you?
 
kevbo said:
Subtract 7
Multiply by two.

For instance, I'm 22. The oldest I'll go is 30.

That's what they say, at least. It really depends on the person. I'd probably go for 35, if it's a relationship, and 50 if it's just a fuck.
Click to expand...

kevbo you're my hero. That is EXACTLY what I was going to put!!!
 
6th grader hanging with 1st graders? I never heard of that. There are kids that do that?
 
son1fan said:
Im with you. But this guy is in his late 40's and hes tempting me with beer and whatnot and i'mvery vulnerable at this point in time.
Click to expand...

Mate, I think the real issue here is the last part of your statement.

Age doesnt count when it comes to be attracted to someone or falling in love - within legal limits of course. If theres a connection, an attraction and a passion for each other then age should prove no barrier to finding happiness in your life. One of the most amazing things about falling in love is falling in love with someone you least expected to...

For me mate the real worry is that you feel vulnerable and someone is tempting you... And that would worry me whether the guy was your age or old enough to be your father.

What ever it is thats hurting you, making you feel vulnerable, you need to try and figure out. If its so bad its affecting your judgment on other aspects of your life, and making you do things you wouldn't normally consider then its time to talk to someone... friends, family, professionals... hell even us here. Nothing is worse than making a decision you fear you'll regret.

If its loneliness that bothers you son1fan, than that can be dealt with too.

But now mate you have to be honest with you... is it his age that worries you... or your own state of mind? Because if its the later, if you feel down or bad about yourself for some reason, there plenty of guys here who would do whatever they could to help.
 
I agree with Tallguy and Willie Boy. The issue isn't "how old is too old," it's your self-perception that men can tempt you into sexual favors with alcohol or other mood altering intoxications.

Older men shouldn't have to exploit or induce you to gain your attention. If they're attractive with great personalities that should be enough.

And what the hell is a "chilf?"
 
My rule of thumb has been 5 years above to 5 years below. There are always exceptions and random hook-ups don't always fit this rule, but this has worked for me. Especially at young ages like early 20s, I think you'll have more success if you look for guys near your own age.
 
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