I've had this conversation with friends many times over the years - the whole coming out process/deal/whatever you want to call it. At the end of the day though, no matter who you ask, what advice you receive, it will come down to you and what you are comfortable with. Don't ever make the mistake of feeling pressured to tell anyone.
The position I've come to is that the most important person you need to come out to is yourself. Period. After that, who you opt to come out to or not is entirely up to you.
Speaking from my own history, I came out in 2002 when I was 32. I had previously done the straight thing and had rationalized any man-on-man play as "experimentation" and any attraction I felt for a man as not sexual, but merely me wanting to look like them (this usually occured in the locker rooms in school and later at the gym). I really did a fantastic job of convincing myself I was not gay. I played around in college a bit (looking back, what was so scandalous to me then was really so very vanilla, even innocent) and that was experimenting - everyone did it. As I continued as a good citizen of "Heterostan", I dated, slept with women, got engaged and only when I found that fiancee cheating on me and was single again did an occasion present itself for another episode of man-on-man activity after a gap of 5-6 years from my college days. Of course, after I rationalized that it was the drink, the situation, etc. that lead to what happened. I wasn't gay, just horny that night. Still in Heterostan, I wound up engaged and married and it wasn't all wine and roses by any means. There were a lot of events outside of our marriage that contributed to its demise (none I might add infidelity by either of us) but by the Fall of 2002 I was starting to realize certain things about me, my life, etc. and I had my "on the road to Damascus" moment and came out to myself.
I kept it to myself for a while. I gradually started telling people over the course of the next 6 months or so -- some good reactions, some bad reactions, some disbelief and some friends lost as a result. But I never felt the need to sit everyone down and have "a moment" and "a chat" about it. Maybe its because I was a Late Bloomer, maybe its just me. The way I look at it none of my straight friends sat me down and told me they liked pussy, so I never got why there is an implied onus on gay men to come out to all and sundry? I do get the whole not living a lie, not living a double life aspect to coming out, but I think our friends and family are smarter than we give them credit for and for many of us, if they don't know, they may suspect. When you stop getting asked "how are the girls treating you?" or similar I'd wager its a fair bet they know.
When my father was dying and I was living as his caregiver I had a few friends who really thought I needed to have "the chat"with him before it was too late. I have to say I never felt the need. I knew he knew; he knew I knew that and that was fine with me. I may get grief for that on here, I may not. Others may disagree, still others may totally know where I'm coming from. Again, its like I said earlier - you have to do what you are comfortable with, when you are comfortable with it. Your terms, no one else's.
Kind of long winded, and maybe not at all what you wanted to hear, but its my two cents and hopefully, maybe something in here will help you out.
I want to add that I applaud you for coming out - I know how hard those words are to say. Be strong!
