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How old were you when you came out?

OC_GUY said:
ive been in a relationship with a guy for about a yr now and i am not out. he understands y i am not, but im looking to change that.
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I'd say you're more than "curious". ;)
 
Officially 27. Prior to that I lied to myself and others as I lead a dual life
 
i came out in 2006 at 36 years of age.

i guess that makes me something of a late bloomer.
 
Came out to parents at 22 and the rest of the family and friends at age 26.
 
biggadick said:
it was 13 years ago, I was 19. it seems like everybody is coming out earlier isn't it?
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Mate... I just dunno. I'd like to beleive you, and I hope like hell you are right. But I often wonder whether or not we are confusing the ones who would have always come out early and now get seen doing it, with the assumption that more are...

Coming out means shaking internal pressures more than external ones... we internalize what we assume others with think and say... and I'm not sure too much has happened to change that... but I pray you are right.

For me, I was 34... old. Too old. I wasted way to much of my life ignoring the obvious, praying for it to change. But I knew it wouldnt.

Still it took the amazong love of a women to force me out... a love that I could return emotionally but I knew I was lying physically. And I didnt want to hurt her so I had to grow a pair of balls and finally deal with who I was...

Its been a hell of a ride... its opened some incredible doors to freindships and paces like this. I am so very very lucky that all my friends and family that know have stood by me and supported me.

I am closer to all of them now than I ever thought I could be. Some of them have seen me lower than low as I dealt with this, and all of them have held me and comforted me. I know I am blessed.

It hurts to hear peoples struggles. Its painful and lonely to be closeted... but we all have our reasons and our fears. No one should ever judge another for how they live their lives... walk a day in their shoes as the saying goes...

I just hope that threads like this help.
 
Hehe I like this thread a lot :)

For me, I came out in November of 2007, when I was 18 (currently 19). It was my first year of college and thankfully, all my friends were very accepting of it. So now all of my friends know.

And then a few cousins. But no immediate family knows yet. This summer my own mother asked me, blatantly out of nowhere, "Do you like guys or girls?"

This was during a layover in an airport and of course, to spare her hurt feelings, I said girls...not sure when I will tell her, but she is catching on :(
 
^ Ha ha, don't worry about sparing your mother's feelings. She already knows. She's trying to pull you out of the closet. :-)
 
i see coming out as a process - there are repeated comings out
for instance, i'm out to my family, but my brother is a fundamentalist christian - at some stage i'm going to have to explain, hopefully by bring my boyfriend to a family dinner (poor boyfriend) that I love guys and as far as I see, there's nothing wrong with it.

but i'm out at my uni, with my friends, with family.

i came out to my folks when I was 20, home from uni for a fortnight and couldn't keep up the lie. to my brother I was 22 - accidentally it appears because his faggot jokes were only jokes and he didn't get that I wasn't laughing much because - well....

I came out to certain school friends when I was 16 and 17 - I wish i'd done it more, trusted others because i would have hurt others less in the process....

but I do thank those who have come before and come out before me because they made the path that I could walk, they wrote the books, and they offered me a safe space if I needed it. which I didn't.

is it important to come out? I think so - but not out of anger or shame or wanting to hurt. the right reasons, the right backup from friends and others.
 
My acceptance of my own being has 3 stages. The first is when i finally accepted that I am gay. I came out when I was 21. I knew I am gay prior to that, but was so extremely afraid of being known gay, resulted that I had a depression. Somehow I met a straight guy who was in depression for other reason. And he is the first person I came out to as we supported each other. and I gradually let a few of my close friends know.

The second stage is that with facebook i reunite with my high school friend who happened to be openly gay. he really helped me by organizing a tour to seattle with 2 other gays. I wasn't fully accept of myself yet, but going out with them made me realized that there is no shame of being gay.

The third stage is that i had a crush on a straight guy. After played with fire and got hurt, somehow i summoned the courage to come out to my friends and even my bosses in a traditional environment. (I told my mom but she pretended not hearing stuff. anyway.) Since then I am so in love of the way I am.

it took me 2 years. a tough process, but turned out the reward is so much sweeter. hang on for those who are still in the progress. ..|
 
i came out to my mom at 13, i said id change, it didnt work. so in college i started coming out more and more. its a lifelong process though.
 
It's funny but before my mom died, she and I were visiting. She then started to tell me how proud she was of me and how she loved me. She then started to say something about, "I didn't think that you would get married...I..." and she stopped.

At the time I was living in total denial and trying to "fix" myself.

The last week of May 2005 I went to Chicago and made the decision to begin my journey....at age 48. I took the first big steps the first week of June 2005 when I told my (now ex) wife I was leaving for DC and that I was gay. She still doesn't believe it and is praying that I'll come to my senses and "change" back to her!

Over the last three years I have continued the journey: coming out to my kids and step kids; to family; to friends. Hell, when I started on this site more than three years ago, I used a different name, would never think about a picture or anything else that might give me away!

As for who knows professionally: I would guess most people I know in DC are aware I'm gay. But I don't go about flaunting it or making it the point of who I am. I am Tom. I happen to be gay. I am not gay and happen to be Tom.

I was that way when I lived the lie of my life as a "hetero" person. I was not Hetero Tom who fucked his wife. I was Tom. Period. As to if I was having sex with anyone -- that was my business and no one else's.

I continue my journey and if asked, I don't hide. I haven't really had a boyfriend I could travel with and take to events yet so the journey continues......
 
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