how real is gaydar?

[Rex]

Eh. I have to laugh at the idea of being 98% correct on your gaydar. In order to know what percent you are wrong, you'd have to know all outcomes which, barring actual telepathy, is outright impossible.

Thanks, I also thought that was kind of a ridiculous statement to make. I've heard some gay men also say they can look at someone and know right away if they're gay, which I also think is pretty arrogant and false.

 

[MisterMajestic]

What MoltenRock is saying is that when he walks into a "Straight Bar" all of the Closeted Guys notice him because he's Asian and Attractive...He stands out...

All this happens before he sits down...

 

[TheOscar]

It's called intuition. Taking the psychological approach to things; as an INTJ, the following paragraph is the best I could find to describe intuition eloquently...

Ni (Introverted Intuition) has a certain magical quality to it. To INJs and outsiders alike, it can seem somehow magical or supernatural. In fact, it is not unusual for INJs to be viewed as having some degree of psychic or prophetic abilities...Despite its magical appearance, Ni can be understood on a rational basis. What seems to be occurring is that many INJs have a highly sensitive inferior function, Extraverted Sensation (Se), which gathers copious amounts of sensory information from the outside world, including subtleties that other personality types tend to miss. Their Ni then subconsciously processes this data in order to make sense of it, like assembling pieces of a puzzle. Once finished, Ni generates an impression that seems to come out of “nowhere.” But the fact is that the intuition did not come out of nowhere, but from a synthesis of sensory data gathered from the immediate environment combined with information from the INJ’s own psyche.

No, you can't be taught intuition: you either have it or you don't.

Sorry for such a long-winded response to such a short question.

Hey, that really applies to me! I somehow am very good at reading people. This makes sense. Ni!

I always seem to spot out the gay people really easily. It is obvious to me. Also, in social psych class we were talking about how gays do these brief stares at one another to determine if the other is gay. Like an unconscious thing.

 

[Marco Sensual]

Gaydar is a joke.It cant be taken seriously.Most of the time,when somebody GUEST which men are gay,its out of luck or people rely on stereotypes.

For example,Zachary Quinto came out.Lots of people were saying,my gaydar tells me that Zachary Quinto is gay.In other words.They were basically saying.Zachary Quinto is kind of feminine,so he must be gay.

I always knew that Ricky Martin was gay.But it as nothing to do with gaydar.It just something you know.Not everytime,but sometimes.

A radar (gaydar) should be totally accurate.Its obviously not the case.Since so much people are wrong with the men they thinks are gay,but they are straight.When they show that their gaydar is off,they show that gaydar is not reliable.

There you have it.Gaydar is fake.

There is no such thing as gaydar.Gaydar is only a stupid trend who supposedly says which men are gay.Yeah right!

Gaydar is only 1 thing.Its bullsh?t.

 

[MoltenRock III]

What MoltenRock is saying is that when he walks into a "Straight Bar" all of the Closeted Guys notice him because he's Asian and Attractive...He stands out...

All this happens before he sits down...

Not always.

The gay or bisexual men I seem to "stand out to" are military men who want my cock inside them. I think I've only had to initiate sex with a military dude once, maybe twice. Usually, they have their ankles at my ears crying, Molten, fuck me raw, balls and all!. All the while they supposedly have "girlfriends" and "wives". Puke!

 

[TheOscar]

Gaydar is a joke.It cant be taken seriously.Most of the time,when somebody GUEST which men are gay,its out of luck or people rely on stereotypes.

For example,Zachary Quinto came out.Lots of people were saying,my gaydar tells me that Zachary Quinto is gay.In other words.They were basically saying.Zachary Quinto is kind of feminine,so he must be gay.

I always knew that Ricky Martin was gay.But it as nothing to do with gaydar.It just something you know.Not everytime,but sometimes.

A radar (gaydar) should be totally accurate.Its obviously not the case.Since so much people are wrong with the men they thinks are gay,but they are straight.When they show that their gaydar is off,they show that gaydar is not reliable.

There you have it.Gaydar is fake.

There is no such thing as gaydar.Gaydar is only a stupid trend who supposedly says which men are gay.Yeah right!

Gaydar is only 1 thing.Its bullsh?t.

My God. XD Your posts are definitely noticeable, haha.

 

[MoltenRock III]

My God. XD Your posts are definitely noticeable, haha.

Yeah, his gaydar doesn't work given his coke snorting habit.

Just saying, is all.

 

[Ganoderma]

Gaydar is a joke.It cant be taken seriously.Most of the time,when somebody GUEST which men are gay,its out of luck or people rely on stereotypes.

For example,Zachary Quinto came out.Lots of people were saying,my gaydar tells me that Zachary Quinto is gay.In other words.They were basically saying.Zachary Quinto is kind of feminine,so he must be gay.

I always knew that Ricky Martin was gay. But it as nothing to do with gaydar.It just something you know.Not everytime,but sometimes.

A radar (gaydar) should be totally accurate. Its obviously not the case.Since so much people are wrong with the men they thinks are gay,but they are straight.When they show that their gaydar is off,they show that gaydar is not reliable. There you have it. Gaydar is fake.

There is no such thing as gaydar. Gaydar is only a stupid trend who supposedly says which men are gay.Yeah right! Gaydar is only 1 thing.Its bullsh?t.

Hi Marco Sensual,

I disagree with you on the point that gaydar should be totally accurate. Who has told you that the gay radar (=gaydar) should be accurate for 100%?

Towards my opinion, gaydar does not need to work for 100% accurate. Towards my opinion, people (guys and girls) are different in any aspect, so also in their ability to identify 'likely gay guys'. Besides that, gays are in no way similar to each other, so also in the way how they 'show' to people around them that they are gay. Behaviour of Humans is very, very flexible, and people can develop a huge array of behaviour characteristics as well. So closeted gays have a huge array of ways to stay 'under the radar', where other people (be aware of women!) can develop alot of ways to detect gays who try to 'stay under the radar'.

I cannot tell you anything about Zachary Quinto and about Ricky Martin, as I have never met them in real life. So I have no idea how they behave in real life, eg when I would meet them in the local grocery without knowing who they are. Besides that, both of them are professional performers.

I agree with you that my gaydar (and likely the gaydar of alot of other gays as well) cannot identify any gay. On the other hand, one can definately learn (people are very, very adaptive in many behavioural characteristics) to improve the gaydar.

Indeed, gaydar might often looks like some sort of 'intuition'. But all goes down to tiny bits of information from a guy processed very, very quickly in your brain.

Straight guys who are 'checking girls' will also be able to tell you very quickly which girl is 'interested'. It is some sort of 2-way process. The straight guy is 'looking around', but the girl as well.

So there will also be a difference in behaviour between open gays, and very closeted gays.

So alot of 'interested' males will be able to idetify Molten Rock 111 as gay, because MR111 is very open (am I right?), especially in the named situations?

Others are right that gaydar has a very strong cultural aspect. The behaviour of guys in eg several African countries, in the ME and also in several Asian countries more to the east is totally different from the way how straight white guys in Western Europe are behaving.

So some clues. And these clues can lead to a more close look to a guy. How is he behaving (or is he together with his BF).

So gaydar is not accurate, and does not need to be accurate.

Best wishes

 

[borg69unimatrix]

I've never had Gaydar. I wish I did.

I also can't cook, decorate, or have any fashion sense.

Liking guys/cock is the only 'gay gene' I got.

 

[Ganoderma]

I've never had Gaydar. I wish I did.

Well, people are different in many aspects, including their ability to identify guys as 'gay'. So your gaydar seems to be low / absent.

You might try to find some help to see if you can improve your gaydar, though guarantee will not be given.

So how about the other way? Are other gays able to identify / detect you (=borg69unimatrix) on their radar? How about your eyes? How do you look to other guys? Are you shy? Are you always looking to the ground? Are you 'checking' other guys?

Eyecontact. Very common for straight guys to make contacts with 'interested' girls. Works as well for gays.

Best wishes

 

[blonderocker]

if it is real then mine is either brocken or i dont have one at all as i can never tell unless they are really fem and camp then i can tell but there are not my type

 

[evanrick]

but all that just made me wonder how the hell did these guys know that i was gay? i feel to myself that i'm really masculine, straight acting. i don't look gay nor do i sound gay. i don't have any mannerisms that imply that but somehow, someway these people just knew.

our perceptions of ourselves is much different than others. often times we give off subconscious clues that other people pick up on.

other men know what to look for, especially other gay men, because we have been forced to be subtle in our observations and manners in a homophobic world.

what does straight acting and being 'masculine' have to do with being gay?

typically we only see what we want to see in other people. so on occasion we are correct, so it just may be the case that you are seen as gay by others and you are.

so sometime its just coincidence.

and these guys, who are trying to force you out, do not have your interests at heart, they have their interests at heart.

i have a friend who is always saying he is not into guys, but every chance he gets i catch him staring at my crotch and asking me to come over when his parents are not home.

he says hes not into guys, so he overcompensates by 'acting straight' which just makes things more obvious.

the problem with guys who do this, often bisexual guys or some gay guys, is that they become emotionally selfish. not wanting to accept a part of themselves leads to self hatred, only reserving their emotions for culturally acceptable behavior.

i find it a turn off, because i get guys coming onto me, but i would not have any interest in a guy who would be so emotionally selfish to use me for sex without accepting who they are. its just dishonesty.

on the other hand, guys who are emotionally secure - can be anyone from closeted gay men who are simply discreet, or straight guys who want mansex, are perferable. sorry for the rant.

 

[Spiff]

I think it is mostly wishful thinking. And if the guy actually is gay, then it is a coincidence. It's ok to keep it as part of gay culture and have fun with it. But to take it seriously and think gays have more intuition than straights is ludicrous.

 

[Spiff]

(some straight men are just clueless guys who don't think anyone is gay unless they walk around with a limp wrist and sing showtunes nonstop).

And some gays are clueless thinking that any cute guy that gives them the time of day must be gay. We got clueless people in all groups.

 

[Ganoderma]

NaughtyArousal wrote:

As a gay man, I understand that while stereotypes exist, anyone can be gay regardless of appearance.

Yap, I fully agree with you, and for 100%.


NaughtyArousal wrote:

And I do think I'm more intuitive as to where another guy's eyes and longings are as opposed to many straight men. So I do think I have better "gaydar" than many straights (some straight men are just clueless guys who don't think anyone is gay unless they walk around with a limp wrist and sing showtunes nonstop).

What's the benefit for a 100% straight guy to have / to develop a gaydar? No benefit at all? Such guys are into girls, and quite a few of them like to 'check the girls'. Likely, they just ignore guys, and might therefore be 'clueless' for gays who are not VERY obvious / stereotypes. On the other hand, it is beneficial for you (and for alot of other gays as well) to have / to develop / to use a gaydar.

I tend to think that this is also the case for quite a few gays, ie, whilst visiting the local grocery (or in the subway, or anywhere with mixed public). So 'ignoring girls' whilst 'checking guys'?

Best wishes.

 

[Ganoderma]

Well, I guess they'd be able to understand if a gay guy is hitting on them. That would come in handy sometimes, right? To avoid misunderstandings/accidentally leading a gay guy on.

I doubt if most straight guys think alot about this option? Especially straight guys who have a stereotypic idea about gays, and in particular the ones who have alot of interests in girls?

You have a point, definately, but I doubt if its true for many straight guys. They are into girls, and like to have contacts with girls. Guys are also ok, but just as guy-friend.

Generally tho, from my experience, gay men and straight woman on average seem to have better "gaydars" probably because it's more useful to them.

Yeah, I agree with you that quite alot of females have a more or less good gaydar. Gaydar is quite useful for females in different ways, pro as well as contra.

 

[birddog7]

I have little confidence in this "gaydar" stuff.

 

[borg69unimatrix]

*gasp*

What kind of homosexual are you? Are you sure you're not attracted to women, just a little bit? By the way, I'm a decent cook, was rearranging my mother's flowers and furniture(the little interior decorator) as early as the age of seven, have pretty good gaydar and of course, my fashion sense shouldn't even need to be mentioned. As Donald from The Boys In The Band would say "I am a model fairy".

All I can say is, as a Homosexual... I suck.


(Pun Intended).

 

[bw92116]

It's more behavioral and not as much appearance, sound or hobbies/interests.

Look for the behavioral signs straight men exhibit when they see a woman they feel a sexual attraction to. Get to know those behaviors. For example, looking her "up and down."

Recognize those same behaviors in men, but directed towards you. That may be a good indication of whether a man is interested in you sexually or not.

Remember that it's not foolproof; I have sometimes mistaken ordinary friendliness with sexual interest and vice-versa. You can't make a judgement on just one or two glances or conversations. It takes time to accumulate the evidence.

What makes it all so much harder is the fear most men have of admitting to anyone else the existence of homosexual feelings or tendencies, thus they go to great efforts to hide it all.

 

[Ganoderma]

True, I don't think most straight guys really dwell on it. But sometimes they do pick up on subtle signs that a guy they know might be gay. I've always been curious to know what it is they pick up on when they notice...Like is there some kind of straight guy code that gay men break even if they're closeted or not "stereotypical" in their mannerisms? I don't know.

Definately, there is 'some kind of 'straight guy code', but with an important BUT, at least towards my opinion. I tend to think that this so-called 'straight guy code' is only working when straight guys are aware that there may also be gays around. So no need to have / to develop some sort of 'straight guy code' in a society where 'gay' does not exist / is not visible / is not relevant etc. So identifying / dividing gay <---> straight is only working when both 'types' are present / relevant (and that's depending on place and time on Earth).

Straight women will say something about a man being more "sensitive" or something and see it as a sign that he's gay (which is problematic, tbh, but it's something I've heard before). etc etc

This is why I don't really take gaydar very seriously. It's so subjective.

Well, its the society (so depending on where and when on Earth) which is directing if gaydar is appropriate. So gaydar will be appropriate in large parts of the US, but it is not appropriate in large parts of Sub-Sahara Africa.

Besides that, gaydar is not perfect, and not working for anyone.