How soon to have sex with someone?

[mcbrion]

Thanks for the positive comments.

Something that we periodically mention is that there is no right/wrong in the responses that people post in these forums. Ultimately, only the OP knows the situation. Different people have different perspectives and the more perspectives that are offered, the more options that the OP is given.

Nonetheless, a thoughtful considered response, devoid of ego, presents itself without judgment, which my response was not. In this respect yours offered more insight - and helpfulness - to the OP. THAT is what is most important in a relationship forum.

 

[KaraBulut]

...We'll keep seeing each other and we'll let each other know when we're ready to have sex.

I really like this guy, I haven't really felt what I feel for this guy with anyone else before. I think he really likes me too...

It does sound like the two of you are off to a good start (although he may need to move closer to avoid those expensive cab rides!).

 

[mcbg22]

Interesting development: We haven't had sex yet but we have talked about what we like/don't like to do in bed and he says lately he has been curious about being slapped, given orders, maybe choked a little bit. I've never done it before and I don't mind trying it, but is it weird that he's telling me this when we haven't even had non-kinky sex yet? lol

 

[HunterM]

No, it is not weird. He...is a communicator. He...lets you know what he would like to try.

You...act like a genie, "Your wish is my command."

 

[TX-Beau]

Yeah........ so this is going to be contrary because - well, I really don't quite understand guys who "really like each other but feel like it's a little too soon to have sex..." If I like a guy, I want into his pants without getting all precious about it. I mean, I LIKE him, I want his ass AND his company. Otherwise I just want hot guys no strings attached.

So, you apparently had this conversation where you both agreed you want to wait and see if unicorns and moonbeams appear, and then he brought up all his S&M fantasies. Yeah, so you don't want to have sex with him - YET, and then he's telling you to beat him and treat him like the gimp he is - perhaps, you should walk away, I don't see much future in this.

 

[mcbrion]

Yeah, wanting in someone's pants when you have lust is pretty standard, but sex changes everything. Once you've had it, you cannot un-have it, whether it was great, mediocre or a dud. And for some guys, if they haven't taken the time to actually know someone they "like," if the sex is bad, they might git. Out. So maybe waiting to see if its only one's lust or truly one's heart (the kind where you feel sweet towards the other guy, not just want him for yourself) lets you know if its a launching pad into something more or if you might want to 'temper your expectations.'
Waiting is cool. I wish more guys would do it, because there'd be many fewer broken hearts. A person would find out pretty quickly who 'likes' them and who only 'desires' them. As a way of separating the wheat from the chaff, I've seen it work really well.