How sympathetic should a woman be upon finding out she was her boyfriend/husband's beard?

[jaycee style]

^^It's used a lot in the entertainment industry.

Gay and lesbian actors who date/marry people of the opposite sex to hide their sexual identity.

Many times the "beard" is fully aware of the situation and goes along with it to protect a gay friend, though that most often involves dating rather than marriage.

A number of female actors have the reputation of being "professional beards" because they "date" so many gay male actors.

this is ironic, cuz i just finished the 4th season of this british prison show called "Bad Girls"

and they fired the guy that ran the prison and hired this other dude "Niel Greyling"

and hs charactor is a gay dude, and he fake dated one of the female prison officers (Di' Barker) just to like make a public image or whatever.

and Noiro, my bad i just caught you in my comments list thing under "my settings"

yea i had to steal your post, not my fault it was so damn cool,

and that term "Beard" i'm itching to use that in a sentence, like, in real life or whatever.

 

[NedNickerson]

Any way you look at it, she was used...

and no one likes being used, which gives her carte blanche to do what ever she wants to do to avenge herself.

I agree with what both Alpha1851 and Jasun say.

 

[954dude]

It depends on the person. Some will accept it and move on, others will be angry and feel betrayed.

I don't expect sympathy, because the man is keeping the lady in the dark for whatever reasons. But it's a complicated situation I've never been in. If that were me, I'd let her know before we're dating instead of leading her on.

 

[LiquidSky]

I would say not very. The guy used her.

 

[nafhoosier]

Treat him like any other cheating bastard - chop his dick off.

Now we're talking!


Don't forget to ad that she should put it in a plastic bag and leave it on the front stoop of the dude he was fucking.

Kind of like an X-rated version of the flaming bag of dog shit routine!!

 

[jaycee style]

Now we're talking!


Don't forget to ad that she should put it in a plastic bag and leave it on the front stoop of the dude he was fucking.

Kind of like an X-rated version of the flaming bag of dog shit routine!!

he called the shit poop!!!

 

[jesusfarts]

I'm surprised by some of the answers on here.

 

[Level27]

She should just lie down and take it like a good little woman and be happy that she had a man at all.

Really? Why do we ask this question?

Honesty if she was lied to and deceived, why should she have any sympathy at all? It's not her fault he stayed closeted. Though he'll likely blame her anyway.

I have a lot of sympathy for people who feel they need to be closeted, because I know that so much of the world is still so homophobic, but involving others in the deception without their knowledge is never cause for sympathy.

I was going to write an 850-word essay for my response, but you pretty much summed up well for me, Stacey dear. So, instead, I'll just write a 450-word essay. lol!

I can understand both sides of the situation and empathize with the ones on each side, why the wife should and shouldn't be furious with him. From her point of view, the man has sworn his life to her, and all of the sudden, she is now going to be left by him because Mr. Closetted had finally decided to go free and be all "I'm not so insecure anymore! Yay! " So. He got his relieve and the joy package that comes with it. But now, what about her?? What's going to happen to the marriage which she so grasped and had a major part of her life upon? While he's enjoying his freedom, she's not: she's going to have to drag around the horror of this incident, constantly being reminded that the one she truly loved and (thought loved her) left her all because he turned out to be gay. She's broken from something that is neither her fault nor within any of her control, and if it's not him to be blamed (especially for having deceived and lied to her all this time), who is? From his point of view, he felt like he had no choice but to marry her, despite the fact that he knew he didn't want to (nor does he have any desire to hurt her feelings). If anything, it was most likely his family that pressured him into marrying a girl, if not this specific girl. He knows that if it were easier, he would simply not marry anyone at all; why would he purposely enter into a situation where he was going to hurt himself and her? Also, he fears society's eyes constantly watching him (it dragged him down into this mess in the first place, right?). What could have happened to him if people knew about him? There would be no more bright sunshine for him for the rest of his life; being thought of as a pervert/deviant/abomination is a foresight that I'm not exactly fond of either. She's not the one going through this emotional hardship as a gay man, the least she can do is help him and provide emotional support for him. Blasting him would be inhumane.

Or, if he didn't know for sure about his homosexuality up until that point, blasting him would still be inhumane because, A) he would have had even less control at the beginning over his choice to marry and B) he would be double-whammed at the end: first, his shocking realization of his sexual awakening and second, the negative virulent response by his ex-wife.

At any rate, I see validity on both sides and will simply leave it at that. Concluding, all I can say is, I sincerely and strongly wish for the best for all couples who have to be or have been in this kind of situation. If I had the supernatural power in my hands to all of the sudden make things so much better, I would moste definitely use that power. (But hey, it's not just me. I mean, don't we all?)

 

[rareboy]

She should bury him up to his neck in sand and let the fire ants do the rest.