How the cookie crumbles.

[SirPierre]

Okay so. me and my partner (or was) we're dating for about 3 years (ldr), and it was the longest relation I ever had with someone, we even had plans to move in together next year.
But we talked a bit and why we were so distant.. and he answered me that he wanted something real.. and he made his choice of breaking up with me and go back to his ex..If that was his final decision, I didn't say anymore to him after.

I'll honestly have to say he was the first (true) love I ever had, but I guess I wasn't his. Now I have been completely devastated with future plans that are not going to come true. I decided to share this because, I honestly don't have anyone to talk to about it / I need advice on how I can deal with all this feelings funny how 3 years can go down the drain faster then water.

 

[LuckysRevenge]

I have a few questions before I say anything.

How old are you?
Was this your first relationship?
Did you spend time with your partner? How long?

That would give a better picture of the situation. Otherwise, the best I can say is that I'm sorry it ended but your bf may have been right. The pain will past and you will be able to look back on this as a learning experience.

 

[SirPierre]

I have a few questions before I say anything.

How old are you?
Was this your first relationship?
Did you spend time with your partner? How long?

That would give a better picture of the situation. Otherwise, the best I can say is that I'm sorry it ended but your bf may have been right. The pain will past and you will be able to look back on this as a learning experience.

I do think he was right about it too from a pov. if he's happy, thats all that matters to me.

How old are you? ---20 (too young I know)
Was this your first relationship? ---Nope
Did you spend time with your partner? As much as i could, but cant say/tell for sure how long..

 

[LuckysRevenge]

I do think he was right about it too from a pov. if he's happy, thats all that matters to me.

How old are you? ---20 (too young I know)
Was this your first relationship? ---Nope
Did you spend time with your partner? As much as i could, but cant say/tell for sure how long..

I wouldn't say you are too young or old. I like the perspective you're taking on this. First loves can be really tough. However, long distance relationships are even tougher. No matter the amount of love, that might not be able to make it work.

I would say don't give up hope and don't take this on a reflection of yourself. Did those 3 years go down the drain? Or did you enjoy those 3 years and learn a lot from them.

If this just happened, the wound will be fresh but all wounds heal over time. I would take that time to just work on yourself and staying positive. From just the few lines I have read, you sound like an intelligent and mature young man. I am sure that you will find the right situation for yourself and a man that loves you.

It's okay to feel shitty. It's okay to grieve. As long as you're not doing anything rash or blaming yourself, I think you're good. What do you enjoy? What can take your mind off things? If possible, surround yourself with friends and family (if that helps). JUB is a great place for advice and support. Best of luck.

 

[SirPierre]

I wouldn't say you are too young or old. I like the perspective you're taking on this. First loves can be really tough. However, long distance relationships are even tougher. No matter the amount of love, that might not be able to make it work.

I would say don't give up hope and don't take this on a reflection of yourself. Did those 3 years go down the drain? Or did you enjoy those 3 years and learn a lot from them.

If this just happened, the wound will be fresh but all wounds heal over time. I would take that time to just work on yourself and staying positive. From just the few lines I have read, you sound like an intelligent and mature young man. I am sure that you will find the right situation for yourself and a man that loves you.

It's okay to feel shitty. It's okay to grieve. As long as you're not doing anything rash or blaming yourself, I think you're good. What do you enjoy? What can take your mind off things? If possible, surround yourself with friends and family (if that helps). JUB is a great place for advice and support. Best of luck.

The breakup was recently, I honestly did learn a few things this past 3 years, I enjoyed them honestly, but you're right. I need to stay positive and do fun activities, no matter how shitty I feel, I can't let that stop me for ever. Its a long chapter in my book that i'll never erase or rewrite, but sooner or later the time will come for the next chapter in my life. Thanks Lucky, having to talk to someone about my feelings makes me feel better, its hard to do that when there's no one in the house but myself

 

[aaggii]

The fact that you talk about it and want to get over it it´s such a big thing! What I can add here is this: meet new people. Don´t look for a relationship, let it come to you slowly when you´re ready and found the right guy, but in the meantime, again, meet people! It will keep your mind busy, you will gain experience, you will learn to read other people etc.

 

[Seasoned]

It's unfortunate that so many of us equate happiness with knowing we have a secure future, when, in fact, all we ever have is the present. Over a long period of time I've learned that what life has given or taken away from me and what those things have taught me have made me into the person I am. Things are supposed to happen to us. That's what life is about.

Funny thing about relationships--they all end, one way or another. That's why it's important to appreciate the good ones, try to fix the salvageable ones and let go of the ones that cause pain and can't be fixed.

If a relationship ever brought happiness, insight or growth it ought to be appreciated even when it ends.

We all have the potential to live healthy, independent lives. My 31 year marriage never would have lasted this long had I not developed that sense of knowing I'm whole and complete with or without my husband.