How to be happy when you are ugly?

[dandude07]

All my life the source of my unhappiness has been my looks. I don't know if any of you are going through this, but I want to know how I can be somewhat happy or feel good.

I want to be able to walk in public and have guys look at me. I want to be able to look in the mirror and love myself, not feel anger inside of why I can't look like other guys.

"How does it feel to be beautiful--- to look in the mirror, and see yourself with such appreciation? --- to have people look at you with such a great admiration."

 

[shainski]

All my life the source of my unhappiness has been my looks. I don't know if any of you are going through this, but I want to know how I can be somewhat happy or feel good.

I want to be able to walk in public and have guys look at me. I want to be able to look in the mirror and love myself, not feel anger inside of why I can't look like other guys.

"How does it feel to be beautiful--- to look in the mirror, and see yourself with such appreciation? --- to have people look at you with such a great admiration."

I don't know what you look like, so this isn't directed at you - per se.

But very few people are truly beautiful. Sure - the Hollywood stars and most in porn are, but they account for less than 5% of the population.

I suspect that you notice people who are good looking and group everyone else together.

I think a lot of what makes someone look good is his/her confidence. I used to wonder about what it was about my good friends that gave them such great mates. Then it hit me - their spouses weren't really that good looking - but because they were settled - they had an air of confidence and contentment.

And all of us - are going to age - our looks will fade. Does that mean our happiness must ebb as well?

Sure, go to the gym. Lose or gain weight if you must. But your external beauty cannot shine through until you start liking your inner-self.

 

[rollex_2000]

Are you the guy in your avatar?
anyways, making other guys look at you has nothing or very little to do with the beauty of your face.

 

[Lefty]

Get yourself away from the mirror and get some real friends.

Real Ugly is inside .. As is Real Beauty.

A friend of mine has a nose like Jimmy Duante and a build like the old

Jackie Gleason. I didn't know that 'til he told me. His wife had a hare

lip or something that was mostly fixed. I did know he and his

wife have 3 kids, all non dna matched and of different flavors. He is very

active in the boy scouts and on the local parks and recreation board. He

is a skilled artist and I am so jealous of him....the bastard and his bitch spouse

are truly two of the nicest, kindest people on earth....

its sickening. So are his farts.

Dude...we are not packages for the media to sell......

We are the content....not the container.

 

[Oldschoolboy]

I have felt this "I want guys to look at me before" too. Now I wouldn't consider myself ugly nor beautiful, but for sure that's not how I felt time ago.

Even now, sometimes I feel like I would love it if more guys would notice me, but I've come to realise it's one of those things you need more and more.

Personally I just feel like you need to feel loved and suddenly it will bother you less and less. You'll have those days when you feel low, but I can assure you'll enjoy most of the days .

We've got so used to evaluate ourselves depending on other people's action, you just have to realise it's up to you to balance it.

 

[BrianPGH]

dandude07 -- you may feel you're "ugly," but that's most likely not how the rest of the world perceives you. I think every one of us is insecure about our looks or our bodies, to one degree or another, but we often have a much harsher view of our appearance than other people ever could.

Either way, though, what you really need to do is look inside yourself, and start counting all of the things that you do like about yourself. Personality traits (such as kindness, compassion, open-mindedness, etc.) that you possess, skills and talents that you have, and things like that. Those are the things that make someone truly attractive. After all, looks fade and even the hottest bodies eventually go to seed.

Life can be miserable when we spend most of our time comparing ourselves to others. Sure, it's hard not to sometimes, but the things that make us individuals are so much more interesting than the things that make us just like everyone else.

I hope you're able to learn to appreciate your beauty.

 

[Fetishboy64]

All my life the source of my unhappiness has been my looks. I don't know if any of you are going through this, but I want to know how I can be somewhat happy or feel good.

I want to be able to walk in public and have guys look at me. I want to be able to look in the mirror and love myself, not feel anger inside of why I can't look like other guys.

"How does it feel to be beautiful--- to look in the mirror, and see yourself with such appreciation? --- to have people look at you with such a great admiration."

Dude I actually sometimes get annoyed when guys look at me when I sometimes walk down the street. You never know what they're thinking. And btw ugly guys turn me on along with fat guys. Don't know why but I do

 

[Dillon6962]

I remember this poem from high school. It is old and hard to read and understand. But the last phrase gets to the point. I hope the link works here fist time I post a link Its from Robert Burns writings.

 

[Dillon6962]

Forgot the link lol


http://www.robertburns.org/works/97.shtml

 

[mxpxl199]

I gotta say the whole "if you carry yourself well and have confidence is what is sexy" sounds great but it's complete bullshit.

People have visceral reactions to attractive vs unattractive people-- it's almost amimalistic. It's been shown that ugly people cause immediate negative feelings, even anger, in people. Yes, we have evolved and can temper those feelings and reframe our animalistic feelings. But attractive people have completely different life experiences then unattractive. Virtually every interaction hundreds of times a day produces a different, more pleasant experience for the attractive than the non-attractive.

Unattractive people who can overcome this in-born negative bias that they experience hundreds of times a day every day of their lives, and become succesful and well adjusted, in my opinion, are extremely strong individuals.

Most criminals and low lives are unattractive. Their parents were most likely unattractive. It's been proven that unattractive people are not promoted as often and achieve lower overall ranks. Not that it's an excuse to be a lowlife or loser just because you are unattractive, but I think the unattractive are a group who face extreme adversity more than most know or realize.

 

[Supersix]

I used to have that problem, now that I am older, I say that I am who I am, take it or leave it. No one is perfect, even the people you think who are perfect, I assure you, they are not. They wake up with bad breath, their shit stinks, and eventually they lose their looks. Screw 'em. There is a yiddish proverb-"One always thinks others are happy".

 

[Mike68]

Dude, I am by no means a looker and I still manage to get some good ones. Of course getting in shape and doing what you can to improve your looks always helps but it really does make a difference having outer confidence. You really need to shake the "Im ugly" mindset first to begin getting better. In time you may be pleasantly surprised with the results

 

[skips]

Nothing makes me feel beautiful like hearing a good-looking guy tell me, "But you have such a nice personality."

I know that I'm nothing to look at but did you really have to compliment me on my personality, of all things? That never fails to make me feel even worse about the way I look. *sigh*

 

[Lefty]

Windex

you are a gawky tall whiney lanky haired balding neanderthal with
no muscle tone, you are totally lacking in intellect or personality.

Feel better now?

Community service provided by

Lefty's Affirmation Services Inc.

 

[OogieMess]

It really is in the eye of the beholder.

 

[dandude07]

Thanks for your support, guys. Yea i know i need to stop comparing myself to other guys. Sometimes i'm really happy with my life, and I love many aspects of it. But some days I just feel so down and can't even look in the mirror... I don't think i'm horrible looking, just wish I looked like the guys I compare myself to.

But I'm going to try to stop making myself so depressed by wanting to be someone else.

 

[Lefty]

hit a biker bar

get drunk

get arrested

3 days in the drunk tank

be pretty for a day or two

is it worth it?

 

[cocksucker4use]

Dude! You have to evaluate your strengths and play to them.....hair, eyes, complexion...dick? Also, as someone alluded to earlier, workin out and gettin buffed up does not hurt.....ALSO< you cannot be depressed when you have endorphins pumpin from aerobic activity...Do an objective evaluation....what is your wardrobe do for your body and overall appearance? Getta good friend ...pref male ....to tell you objectively what is goin on.....AND....you are the standard by which you should look at you. Do it and move on....

 

[birddog7]

All my life the source of my unhappiness has been my looks. I don't know if any of you are going through this, but I want to know how I can be somewhat happy or feel good.

I want to be able to walk in public and have guys look at me. I want to be able to look in the mirror and love myself, not feel anger inside of why I can't look like other guys.

"How does it feel to be beautiful--- to look in the mirror, and see yourself with such appreciation? --- to have people look at you with such a great admiration."

I know how that feels...

 

[JustJuice]

Since childhood I've had issues about my facial attractiveness. I've never considered myself attractive, although I don't consider myself ugly. If 100 guys were put in a line based on attractiveness, I'd be about 30 from the unattractive end. Anyway, I've got a photo of myself in my mid 20's on the fridge, and I'm thinking that maybe I was wrong about my looks. Don't discount the fact that you might be better looking than you think you are is what I am saying.