How to be happy when you are ugly?

[HornyHenry]

"Good" looks(and youth) are way over-rated, thanks in large part to Hollywood's and Madison Avenue's phony idea of what constitutes handsomness. As I matured I found that homely or even ugly men are nicer, smarter and better than those who coast by on their "A-list" looks.
Snuggling up with a fat older balding bear who earned his living in a garage was much more fulfilling than the sex I had with a pretty-boy blond my age.
To me, masculinity coupled with intelligence and love for our fellow men turns me on much more than prettiness or youth.

 

[asu1117]

Most criminals and low lives are unattractive.

Except serial killers.


Most serial killers have above average attractiveness.

 

[Lefty]

Any of you young guys want to swap 25 of your future years for

half of my nordic tan physique with the 20/20 blue eyes, cleft chin,

full head of blond/not grey hair, high I.Q. and fairly healthy bank account?

Well can we negotiate maybe?

 

[gdwatcher]

All my life the source of my unhappiness has been my looks. I don't know if any of you are going through this, but I want to know how I can be somewhat happy or feel good.

I want to be able to walk in public and have guys look at me. I want to be able to look in the mirror and love myself, not feel anger inside of why I can't look like other guys.

"How does it feel to be beautiful--- to look in the mirror, and see yourself with such appreciation? --- to have people look at you with such a great admiration."

Even if you have the courage to post your pic and many people give you compliments, I suspect you would be suspicious. Beauty is an attitude.. A confidence within. Beauty is a projection from the inside. We are only led to believe, through media, that beauty is only outward. It simply is not.

So what do you do now. A serious reprogramming needs to happen. As a start, try writing down all the stuff you do like about yourself. I would even go as far as writing down only positive words or phrases about yourself on index cards and tape them everywhere around your house. Make sure they are large enough to read from a distance. Replace the negative, that you are so used to, with a positive. It sounds like a silly thing to do. Right now you are placing negative index cards every where. I am suggesting a focus on the postitive.

 

[oliver92]

Being told you're beautiful is a drug. Gives you a kick but it does not last. It's like trying to use caffeine instead of sleep... you will be worse off in the long-run.

I'm sad to say I'm not even really at the stage where I have total self-confidence. I'm working towards it, but I often have days where my self-worth is zero.

You do have to start from the ground-up. Maybe while you're building that self-esteem you'll be knocked down a few times and have to start again. It's about appreciating the positives rather than the negatives, the possibilities and not the realities. It's tempting to go for false praise, and no, not everyone has external beauty in the conventional sense (so that's not a reliable place to start), but everyone can be of great value to their own lives, can create huge amounts of happiness within their own power and existence.

 

[Muzart1]

For what it's worth, I've heard it said that you are about 15% more attractive than the person you see in the mirror. Other people see your personality and the whole package. You don't.

 

[Yaoilover921]

I can tell from your avatar that you're not ugly.

Even if you disagree, just tell yourself that you love yourself and don't care what anybody else thinks.

hth

 

[glasvegas]

All my life the source of my unhappiness has been my looks. I don't know if any of you are going through this, but I want to know how I can be somewhat happy or feel good.

I want to be able to walk in public and have guys look at me. I want to be able to look in the mirror and love myself, not feel anger inside of why I can't look like other guys.

"How does it feel to be beautiful--- to look in the mirror, and see yourself with such appreciation? --- to have people look at you with such a great admiration."

If you're the person from your avatar, DAMN! You're fucking gorgeous. Even though you are not, don't worry, looks are not everything, the more important is the heart and the personality. Beauty comes within your soul. I am sure you're an awesome person.

 

[goldpuma]

ugly is how you feel not how you look, and self pity can make the most beautiful man hideous

 

[purina]

Any of you young guys want to swap 25 of your future years for

half of my nordic tan physique with the 20/20 blue eyes, cleft chin,

full head of blond/not grey hair, high I.Q. and fairly healthy bank account?

Well can we negotiate maybe?

Me! ME! Mr. Sinister.
You can have years 68 thru 93.

 

[Lefty]

Me! ME! Mr. Sinister.
You can have years 68 thru 93.

Wow Purina...you survived our 3days as guests of the county

(see post 18)

Lets go get purty again ....

 

[RicanKicks]

Straight and simple man....YOU Need to stop being such a girl about this!!! I was good looking in High School and yeah I look today still but theres more to me than that!! I play basketball football soccer with my friends I take Muay Thai, Savate, and kickboxing as well as boxing! I get women and guys looking at me, I go out to mall I dont stand out NO ONE DOES!....well my clothes probably does because I dont wear Skinny Jeans HA! or AB Fitch shirts...More to me I mean I did sports basketball, and im fucken good at it bro!!! THATS what makes me me
I took wrestling in High School VARSITY!! Ya dude! I was bigger than most kids! 155 at age 17!! Im not that tall 6' but I still play the field with women sometimes when I feel like it, one thing they want and like at their purest is a real man swag you can only get from being one!!!
Dude you could be the prettiest looking dude out there!! But pple will get bored of you if thats all you are...Pretty Like a Ferrari on Display that care may be good looking on the outside but no damn motor revving in the inside!
I got a motor bro! A BIG motor!! Guys wish they could be sucking my dick...same for some women when they see me....
I can breakdance since I was 13 and only gotten better since
Dude you cant be just an object so pple can look at you...pple at museums..they get bored of one painting and move to the next...I look in the mirror and id stay ALL day looking at me!!!!
I dont need pple to tell me how good I look because seriously to me its not even about that!!! =D
You gotta be good for something, and if looks is all you got then harsh cold is....your life sucks
Learn a thing from Fran Drescher The Nanny...she was one fine bitch!!! Loved her sexy curvy body...but what got me the most from her was her personality!! Damn she could work it!! So flirty...she had Personality bro...and I am MULTI-USEFUL!!
So yeah I GOT PRIDE IN ME AND SELF LOVE! And pple love that about me bro. Some pple will tell you to start loving yourself, but truth is thats complete BS, thats basicly lying to yourself and tricking yuorself into loving your own self...if the love for yourself isnt genuine than your wasting your time!
ANd I really feel bad for you if you get your self worth from what people think of you haha...
There may be a dude out there that outweighs me and maybe has more muscle on him than me but bro I can out do him in ANYTHING!! Im only 196lbs now and soon 200lbs and then more so...I can still own anyone!! AND look good while doing it!

Like Drake sais " Nigga Im tha man!"
and like Pitbull sais "Imma Do What I Do, and if you dont like it than its cool F*** you..."
oh and drop one for my girl Nelly Furtato "You either got it, or your dont.."

 

[jmadaf]

Go to the gym and get in shape, that will help with the mirror, if your gay, most gay men only want to see your cock.

 

[kxk010]

To be honest, even if a guy tells me I'm attractive, I still struggle to see it. You know what that tells me? That we are our own worst enemy when it comes to criticizing ourselves. I'm not gonna sit here and say some dumb shit like "beauty is what's inside, blah." However, what I will say is that often times if you have a negative attitude about yourself for a long enough period of time, your mind can certainly play tricks on you in terms of what you see in the mirror.

My personal advice is to start working on some part of your body that you can change. It sounds trite and obvious, but the gym is definitely a good place to start. While it isn't going to make you a supermodel, having even a small positive change in yourself can completely alter your entire outlook. Furthermore, the only side effect from it is better health. What can go wrong with that?

 

[GamerBear]

Losing weight is probably a good way of making yourself feel better but what is the use when you lose a lot of weight and still get told by gay men in general that you're fat and disgusting. It's like you lose the weight to be healthy and feel better about yourself and still get told that your efforts are ugly and unattractive. It seems the only to actually be praised for losing weight is becoming extremely skinny to the point where you're almost underweight.

Even if you lose 100lbs you'll get people telling you how ugly you look because there might be some sort of imperfection in your appearance that turns them off. Then more and more people go as far as buying expensive creams to make themselves look younger, have some sort of surgery to make them look like the magazine cover boys playing volley ball and showing their six pack abs.

The sad truth is that a lot of gay men are shallow and are fitness obsessed to lose as much weight so they can keep their six pack abs. It's quite sad and this can be seen all through JUB, you see these guys who don't fit this mold of twink or hunk and they are afraid to post their pictures on here in fear that some shallow poster will tell them to lose weight and you'll look hot to me or lose the weight so your cock will look bigger.

Of course you can just ignore it but some just can't, and it's like a stab to the heart that you try so much to look good to yourself but you are never good enough for others. In the long run you should just try to look good to yourself and not to others because so many people have high expectations to what beautiful looks like that they might never find you attractive no matter how much you lose or how much surgery you have.

 

[birddog7]

Losing weight is probably a good way of making yourself feel better but what is the use when you lose a lot of weight and still get told by gay men in general that you're fat and disgusting. It's like you lose the weight to be healthy and feel better about yourself and still get told that your efforts are ugly and unattractive. It seems the only to actually be praised for losing weight is becoming extremely skinny to the point where you're almost underweight.

Even if you lose 100lbs you'll get people telling you how ugly you look because there might be some sort of imperfection in your appearance that turns them off. Then more and more people go as far as buying expensive creams to make themselves look younger, have some sort of surgery to make them look like the magazine cover boys playing volley ball and showing their six pack abs.

The sad truth is that a lot of gay men are shallow and are fitness obsessed to lose as much weight so they can keep their six pack abs. It's quite sad and this can be seen all through JUB, you see these guys who don't fit this mold of twink or hunk and they are afraid to post their pictures on here in fear that some shallow poster will tell them to lose weight and you'll look hot to me or lose the weight so your cock will look bigger.

Of course you can just ignore it but some just can't, and it's like a stab to the heart that you try so much to look good to yourself but you are never good enough for others. In the long run you should just try to look good to yourself and not to others because so many people have high expectations to what beautiful looks like that they might never find you attractive no matter how much you lose or how much surgery you have.

Don't I know it...

 

[TheOscar]

You need to not be so hard on yourself! That is what is really hurting you. FORGET what you look like. Just be happy with who you are and you'll find someone who also will like you the way you are.

Cheesy, yes.

 

[GamerBear]

Don't I know it...

In your case I hardly think that people would think of you as ugly or disgusting. You have a good thing going for you. You just need to get out of this shell that is making you feel so bad about yourself. I think if you leave that shell you can feel better about yourself, I don't know how many men it takes that tell you that your hot but you just need to stop beating yourself up. I think you are attractive but you won't listen to my words, because the only thing you hear are the negative thoughts about yourself that bring you down and you go on trying to relate to people who feel ugly about themselves.

First off your cock is not small, it's because you have this image in your head that 90% of JUB members have cocks bigger than 7 inches which is untrue, you fail to see that everybody is made differently same with you. Just because you have an average sized cock doesn't make your self worth and value go down. You need to think high of yourself not too much or else people will think of you as stuck up, just be good to yourself and you will attract more and more people if it being women or men.

 

[cocksucker4use]

Except serial killers.


Most serial killers have above average attractiveness.

Sociopaths are usually attractive people.

 

[palemale]

The brain is the most important sex organ. I echo the others who suggest doing things that will improve your confidence. Exercise, wardrobe, hair, eating right, etc.

I never considered myself great looking, although most people considered me good looking. I've improved with age, mostly because I have taken good care of myself. Now, I look much better than people my age. I hooked up with a 25 yr old recently who thought I was about 35 and was shocked when I told him I was over 50.

The moral, there is no time like now to change your life.