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How To Break Up With Him?!

ben9651

ben9651

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I`m not a native English-speaker so help me out here ..

I`v been on and off with a guy that I talked about in a previous thread(back in august-http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=354423)..

So , HE`S BACK ;
He contacted me in November (after 3 months of disappearing) saying that he wants to meet up . We met up.

Throughout all December we hung out all the time , spent new year`s eve together , he introduced me to his friends . I had to go home for the holidays and i came back in jan 26th and we spent everyday together ever since.

He started talkin about moving together. I freaked out and said that if we did , i wouldn`t study anything and would fail most of my courses.

MY dilemma :
I dont know if i can trust him.I mean yes.He`s nice , charming , and we have alot in common . But PEOPLE DONT CHANGE THAT FAST .. lets not forget what happened the last time i trusted him .

SO , I kinda wanna break things off with him . But i dont know if i`m being fair or what to tell him honestly especially after he invited me to the country-side with his friends and also to go with him to his uncle`s house for dinner .
FActs:
he never did this with any other guy .. sleeping over , introducing to his friends etc.
I like him alot , and if i do decide to end things it would only be becuz i dont know if i can trust him.

ANY ADVICE ?!
 
As for the reason he disappeared .. He apologized of course . He said : " the last few months have been really weird for me, alot of strange things happened"
Apparently , he lost his job during that time ..
 
I'd say you don't owe him any "fairness" if you don't feel like you can trust him. He sounds unstable and untrustworthy. You ONLY EVER move in with someone you are REALLY comfortable with and have serious intentions of spending a large part of your life with.

Just tell him you don't think it's a good idea, and that's that.
 
Tell him moving in together is a serious situation and he is moving too fast for you. Especially since he disappeared on you like he did.

You want to slow things down a bit and just date and get to know one another better before taking the relationship to the next level.
 
You are still in school and you think he would be a distraction. First things first--finish school with some distinction and keep the relationship secondary. If he really cares, he will understand and wait.
 
By saying you don't know if you can trust him, what you are really saying is that you don't trust him. If you trusted him, you wouldn't be questioning it.

You are not talking about being roommates, you are talking about taking a big step in a romantic relationship--living together. No trust equals no living together as a couple.
 
Living together is always a huge step and if anyone is uncomfortable with the situation then clearly it would be a mistake.

Trust is a different story and it's really up to you to see if you want to put the time and effort into something which might not last. If you feel strongly that there is no way you could trust him again then the best thing to do is end it.
 
Say you need more time to get to now each other, and you dont want things to go bad if you do it to soon. So tell him you are not ready to move in w/him cuz it is to soon. Plain and simple. An only time will tell if this will work out.

If he takes it wrong, will then you save your self ome time, and heart ache, and moving hassle.
 
What's his motivation in wanting to move in? Is it to have a place to live or is it to seal his commitment to you? That's the piece I would be suspicious of. But besides that, never do something so momentous that makes you this uncomfortable. If the relationship sours you lose a lot.
 
Thanks alot for the advice.

The motivation ?
He wants to move out of his parents place and he was gonna live with a friend but he said that since i live alone , it would be better to live with me .. so i guess he needs somewhere to crash BUT its a NO NO for me!
 
ben9651 said:
Thanks alot for the advice.

The motivation ?
He wants to move out of his parents place and he was gonna live with a friend but he said that since i live alone , it would be better to live with me .. so i guess he needs somewhere to crash BUT its a NO NO for me!
Click to expand...

From the bottom of your lungs scream! No!
 
When there is doubt, there is no doubt.

Be up-front with him. I feel he'll try the "but you can trust me."

Listen to your 'little' voice - it's there for a reason.
 
Great !

He came today and told me that he had kissed a friend (a girl) in a party on friday !

The thing is , he was smiling the whole time thinking that it was okay for him to do sth like that!

I see a breakup on the horizon !
 
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