How to come out?

[raskdog]

I decided to come out on Facebook. A lot of my Facebook friends already knew but a lot didn't, especially the ones I have known all my life, as I could never figure out the best way to tell them. Initially I just started posting comments in support of gay people and gay marriage but then eventually posted comments that made it clear that I was gay. I kept looking at my friends list to see if anyone had deleted me but none did. A few actually sent supportive messages, including my best friend from childhood. He basically said that he loves me and that he will always will and doesn't give a shit about my sexuality. Another friend said that he doesn't agree with homosexuality but it didn't change our friendship. I think sometimes we expect negative reactions out of fear.

 

[Tristan Chase]

do what you feel is right

 

[Brian Smith]

When it comes out, maybe you could reflect on guys that you and he have both known whom you were secretly attracted to. If you think that one guy from your mutual history might have been interested in you back, maybe you could discuss how you always thought so-and-so had a thing for you. Just revisit your history with him in such a way that you have ALWAYS been gay, so it is not like suddenly you BECAME gay. Just an idea.

 

[Bisexual13]

I am truly terrified of coming out. I'm bisexual and still young but it is truly terrifying. I used to sneak into the living room in the middle of the night to read/watch blogs/vlogs about coming out. My mom had noticed it in a history tab so I said it was an emotional experiment I was conducting. I always did experiments on my own and still do. I have told a few friends but some other drama happened so we don't get along so well anymore. Word got out from who I thought was a friend and I was kinda happy to not have to say it. But when asked I panicked and said no. I never got bullied or anything. But I was scared and I still am. It's not that long after it happened. But I guess they'll figure it out on there own. I hope they do because I won't deny it 3 times.

 

[Windsong]

And once its all over you will smile uncontrollably, for your real life has begun

I just don't understand this.

I started telling my closest friends that I was gay when I was 16. And I've been suicidal ever since. I'm now 34, so that's quite a few years. But I don't understand. Where was this great uncontrollable happiness? When was that supposed to happen? I don't get it. Being gay makes me miserable. What went wrong? You know, why do people say, "Oh it's the best thing I ever did!"? What was supposed to happen?

 

[firsttimeagain]

I’m surly not the one to give advice on coming out because I’m still in that process. I’ve always been scared to come out because I worried about how others would react. I act straight but I am far from it. Though I have not actually had sex with a guy yet, I am gay. I’ve always known it and always wanted it. The sex is a given. I’m not attracted to women except friendship. I’ve kept that to myself for my whole life. So, I am now looking for a gay relationship. How else do you find other gay guys if you continue to hide from it. My realization of being gay and not acting on it has been difficult. But, now things are different. Admitting it to myself that I’m gay has been the most satisfying thing I’ve ever done. I’m coming out at my own pace. Not declaring it to the world, just potential partners. Obviously, looking on dating apps and websites you have to say what your preference is. That’s the point. I’m sure people I know will see me on those sites. If they do, then they are looking too. When I find the right guy I still may not tell the whole world. But I’m not going to hide it either. I’m over worrying what others think. People will know when we are together all the time. If someone ask me if we are dating or are together, I will say yes. I’m not going to hide it, but until I’m in that relationship, I don’t see a need to tell everyone else. When I’m hanging out with likeminded guys, oh they will know I’m gay. I am super excited about the next chapter of being who I have always wanted to be. I’m coming out a little at a time and that is progress I’m proud of. Some may not agree with me and my approach. But, I’m super happy to finally start living how my heart and mind and desires have always been who I am…Am I there yet? Not quite, but I’m getting closer, and that feels really good…