How to deal with the girls?

[anarodrigues]

Hi,

As I'm growing older girls are taking a lot of interest in me. How should I behave, I'm clearly not interested (but no one knows)? I'm afraid that I'm going to hurt some feelings, they feel unwanted. Also, I'm afraid people will start getting suspicious if i never do any thing with these girls. some of them are hot and many guys would jump at it in a second. This is very uncomfortable for me, and i'm not ready to let people know that i'm interested in men. I think I'd be much happier if i liked the girls :\ i can't get any man as well because no one is gay, or at least openly, where i live, and i'm presumed to be straight.

thanks for reading

 

[tarallucci]

Hi

This is typical, sometimes I feel I would like to have a girlfriend but it's a very weak feeling compared to how I feel about men.
Well, if you're not very sure about your sexuality, I wouldn't recommend to "start" with the girls yet, have you been with a man before?
In any case, simply just avoid them being nice or be friend with them and when they start asking for more, you are either engaged or some other excuse like she's not really your type of person... at least until you might gain enough confidence to actually want to "experiment" something with a girl who doesn't want to commit. But like you said, it could be dangerous if a girl falls in love with you, better not keep lying at that point.

As for men, you could try some websites... but I don't recommend those either if you're looking for a relationship.
The only suggestion that comes to mind, would be: look around yourself and try to spot someone like you who is surrounded by hot girls but for some mysterious reason he is still single like you

Also, I'm afraid people will start getting suspicious if i never do any thing with these girls.

This shouldn't really be a problem of yours... don't let others live your own life.

 

[Ganoderma]

hi anarodrigues,

Good you have made this posting.

Please realize yourself that girls will keep thinking why you don't have a girlfriend / why you don't seem to have alot of interest in girls / getting a girlfriend. Realize yourself as well that there might be girls who have already decided by themself (without telling you) that you might well be a gay guy.

So you can always tell them some 'lame' excuses like 'too busy with work / study', 'I first want to finish my study', 'I like to be a free man', 'I first want to get a fixed job' (or whatever kind of lousy excuse you might use). All of these excuses will not stop girls thinking about the real reason why you don't have a girlfriend and why you won't react / response when a girl is flirting with you (or something like that).

Well, you will never hurt feelings of girls as long as you firmly keep telling the same story ('lame excuse', see above for some examples) again and again and as long as you don't give them some hope that one of them might become engaged with you.

It is ofcourse much and much easier for all these girls when they will know for sure why you have no sexual interest in them. Open gay guys don't have such problems. Such guys just tell those girls something like 'no problem at all to drink coffee with me, but please realize yourself that i am interested in guys'.

Good luck and take care.

 

[Seasoned]

No one is gay where you live? It would have to be more accurate to say, "no one is out where I live." What is the cause of your fear in coming out? That answer is key in offering advice.

 

[Telstra]

Stop lying to yourself.
If you are attracted to men, just slowly try to find men and have fun.

 

[innocentbychoice]

Don't do something with a girl just as a cover. If you don't like them it's better to stay away from that than putting yourself in a situation that would be way more stressful just to maintain a facade.

If they're interested in you just ignore them, treat them like any other person without doing anything special. They will eventually get over it and move on, that's what I did everytime it happened to me before I was out. And yes it also gave me anxiety and a lot of insecurity but today I'm proud and happy that I never did anything with girls out of social pressure.

 

[evanrick]

its impossible to avoid them all together. if you try and be less desirable to women they will take it personally and get mean and spread gossip. if you try to make it more obvious that your gay you could attract other types of women and some men you didnt want to.
id just be short and courteous to everyone that your not interested in. just so they never feel one way or another.


fat white women and old white women are the worst. dont ever go anywhere with women you know if fat or middle aged divorced women will be around. i once took a co-worker to dinner with another guy whos also gay, of course the fat chick assumed we were going out so was really fucking mean to both of us. i could write a book on white women!