The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

how to deal with this personality?

E

evanrick

JUB Addict
Joined
Aug 1, 2004
Posts
6,491
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Location
Seattle
so i know a person i would describe as authoritarian, yet he doesn't respect authority, meaning he doesn't respect the people above him yet he demands respect from others.

subjugating, meaning he accuses people of "being gay" yet goes on to talk about how he has watched gay porn and then seemingly defends homosexuality in a historical context.

he also has this kind of learned helplessness whenever he is trying to do something, he will get you to take all the "risks" under the guise of you helping him - while he sits back.

hes reactionary and often turns small events into large consequential ordeals, aka turning a "mole hill into a mountain" and uses intimidation as a means of coercion. #-o

its very difficult to maintain a relationship when he acts like this.
 
Why would you want a relationship with him? :confused: Is he your boss? Or is he your co-worker that you have to interact frequently?
 
unless you absolutely must have some type of interaction with him I'd just stay away from him. If you do have to be around him don't do it alone. Have someone else there so he can't say that you did x, y and z or made him do it. As far as "helping" him and taking the risks I wouldn't do that either. I'd find some way of conveniently being too busy or tell him you don't know how to do it either. He'll move along pretty quickly. He can only use you as long as you let him. Don't give him the chance to use you.

Steven.
 
HunterM said:
Why would you want a relationship with him? :confused: Is he your boss? Or is he your co-worker that you have to interact frequently?
Click to expand...

i work with him so i have to find a way to correct his behavior. i want to tell him to grow the fuck up but hes so reactionary im sure i would just get threats in return. :(
 
Follow this advice:
Georgiadude said:
unless you absolutely must have some type of interaction with him I'd just stay away from him. If you do have to be around him don't do it alone. Have someone else there so he can't say that you did x, y and z or made him do it. As far as "helping" him and taking the risks I wouldn't do that either. I'd find some way of conveniently being too busy or tell him you don't know how to do it either. He'll move along pretty quickly. He can only use you as long as you let him. Don't give him the chance to use you.

Steven.
Click to expand...
 
evanrick said:
i work with him so i have to find a way to correct his behavior. i want to tell him to grow the fuck up but hes so reactionary im sure i would just get threats in return. :(
Click to expand...

No you don't have to correct his behaviour.

1. People shouldn't be talking about porn at work. That's unprofessional.

2. Don't enable him. When he asks for help, make sure he is the one doing the work and you provide very approximate guidance. What kind of work do you guys do? If it's something like engineering, he needs to learn to do his own work or he'll never be qualified.

3. Don't listen to him when you don't have to. He can bitch about something all he wants, if it's a problem he can fix it. Just tell him "It's on my list to do, after this, this, and this. If you want it done sooner, you'll have to do it, sorry."

4. Intimidation is harassment. Period. This is unacceptable (and illegal) in the workplace. Report him if he keeps doing it when you tell him to stop.
 
so today he spent all day hiding and being lazy. he told me and another co-worker that hes worried that he caught AIDS from being close to some skank. I dont know if this is true, but why the fuck would you broadcast that you are a dumb ass? blowing shit out of the water and get the fuck over yourself is what my friend told me. and i guess hes now mad at me and i had to hear about it from a different co-worker *who loves to manipulate my bosses* so hes now trying to manipulate AND intimidate me by having me know that hes angry at me.
whats worse is that there is no clear end in sight, unless he totally disrespects a customer or does something very reprehensible i dont see any discipline coming down. all the manipulativeness that happens has made it virtually impossible to hold anyone accountable for any thing and i just want to do my job.

hes already burned bridges with my bosses and ive finally realized how its important to not enable him or he will never grow the fuck up.
 
The best things to do with a difficult co-worker is to maintain distance whenever possible, to keep a private journal and be assertive in your interactions with him. Being assertive in a passive/aggressive culture is difficult but, once mastered, is the best defense against erratic behavior be it in our professional or personal lives. Sometimes community colleges offer courses or it can be learned through a good self-help book.
 
Please read post #3, 4, 6 and 7 again. The same advice still stands.

good luck with things

Steven.
 
Please follow advice on post #3, 4, 6, 7 and 10 again.
 
You're letting yourself be drug way too far into his drama.

If he's not your boss or supervisor, I wouldn't think you'd have to listen to him at all.

Do your job to the best of your abilities, avoid him, and limit the social activities and drama to outside the job, off the clock, or else he'll just drag you down with him (or throw you under the bus to save himself).
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top