How To Figure This Guy Out...

[NY Curious]

So theres this guy I work with for this summer and I really need help figuring him out.

The first time I saw him I automatically thought he was gay. He acted pretty flamboyant, talked in that "gay" tone, and would talk very high at times. He's even joked about asking me out and stuff and invited me to his place and stuff but I never really thought about it.

I also did a little research and realizes he hangs out with a lot of girls and on his online profile he doesn't have a gender preference put down.

Yet I started really getting the hots for him when we started working out with each other and he has a great body and is Latino so thats a huge plus!

The only reason I'm very hesistant is the whole work thing and the fact that he seems to come from a very Christian family. His brothers and sisters go to a private Catholic high school and his older brother has a very serious girlfriend.

So I don't know what to do with this guy...he's 20 and I'm 18, and I think he'd be a perfect guy to have as my first...but I'm still very unsure. What do you all think? Thanks for any help!!!

 

[NY Curious]

ALSO I forgot to add...I found out he went to a Spice Girls concert with three other girls

But another reason I think "makes" him more straight is the fact he really likes working out and physical activity and sometimes acts really distant and macho when we work out together. Also he likes video games and does karate. I don't know if these help/hurt anything but I feel like they make him seem more "straight."

Any help is great appreciated!!

 

[p700granat]

NY Curious,
From the information you provided so far, there has been no evidence to suggest he's gay. The concert he goes to, the high-pitched voice, the female friends he has - they are just common stereotypes & misconceptions. I have none of those, and neither do they guy I am currently dating. From the way we act, and the stuff we do you'll not be are able tell we're gay, that is, not until we get behind a closed bedroom door. And some of my straight friends do have those qualities, and they're straight as an arrow. So I would say unless you have some more concrete evidence, you should either 1)come out to him and/or ask him, or 2)assume he's straight for now (after all it's statistically much more likely), just be friend and observe.

 

[Lalada]

Now if you really want help:

You should ask about his family. See how conservative they are... whether or not they liked him seeing the Spice Girls with three gal friends... ask how old was his brother when he got into a very serious relationship and ask if he is expected to any time soon... he'll slip up.

Other than that, I wish you all the best, it's really adorable.

 

[peerless]

Excellent points you two above! I'm into contact sports, karate, working out, etc. Those aren't indicators of sexuality. Also I've noticed some cultures are less self-conscience than americans and so perhaps his "latino" family places no stigma on his seeing spice girls, but rather maybe they see their son with 3 females. From your description I'm thinking he's unsure, but tending towards being bi/gay, and he doesn't realize that his actions/mannerisms are betraying that outwardly. If you intimate that he is gay, he will become guarded most likely. I'm afraid the best way is to admit something to him, and put the ball in his court, at least as I see it.

 

[rareboy]

Uh..............

So you work out together but you think that makes him straight while you are gay?

Coming from a Christian family doesn't make you straight any more than going to a Spice Girl's concert would make you gay.

All that being said, it sounds like he's a homo all right.

Tell him you're gay and see how it goes.

 

[G-Lexington]

I'm 2000 miles away, and all I know about this guy is what you've told me.

Is he gay? Possibly.

Rareboy's right. Let him know you're gay. You don't have to walk up and say "Hi, I'm gay" if you'd rather not. But next time you chat with him, mention the gay club you went to last night, or the cute guy who was your waiter. That's all he'll need.

Lex

 

[youngnihilist]

uh the working out and fitness part are NOT straight tendencies, overall gays are more interested in the gym. sounds like he is gay what straight man goes to the spice girls with 3 lady friends? it's like going to sex and the city with the gal pals

 

[Tizinsane]

My grandmother made my grandfather go to with her and 2 of her friends to see Sex and the City! lol!!

Lex is right. Come out to him sometime. Work it into your conversation.

Good luck!!

 

[NY Curious]

thanks so much guys!!!! you guys give great advice that i couldnt even imagine to think about if someone were asking me these questions. you all are the best! any other advice is greatly appreciated as well but we'll see how it goes! : )

thanks again!!

 

[billybob109]

ALSO I forgot to add...I found out he went to a Spice Girls concert with three other girls

But another reason I think "makes" him more straight is the fact he really likes working out and physical activity and sometimes acts really distant and macho when we work out together. Also he likes video games and does karate. I don't know if these help/hurt anything but I feel like they make him seem more "straight."

Any help is great appreciated!!

alot of men love to take care of there bodies that has nothing to do with his sexual orientation. I would get closer to his female friends and see what you can find out and maybe hint to them that you have a crush on him and then give it a few days for his female friends to get back to you or him to u