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How to Forget about People

  • Thread starter Thread starter Zildjian
  • Start date Start date
Z

Zildjian

Guest
Is there some hypnotic or psychological solutions on how to forget about a person and/or bad memories?

For example, my mind keeps going back to this girl who was my 'secret' girlfriend in high school, and I'd really like to forget completely about her and a few other individuals who caused me harm [emotionally] in past.

Any Tony Robbins-esque solutions, guys?
 
No.

A person is the sum of their experiences and choices. Some are good and some are bad. Ideally we learn from the bad ones to avoid more of them in the future but some pain in life is a necessity.
 
You can't forget.
But you can accept.

I can't forget the kid that bullied me in seventh grade (Randy, if you're reading this, a belated "fuck you"). But I can accept it. I can accept the fact that he enjoyed teasing the pudgy loner, and that I was too shy and nervous to do anything about it.

I can't forget the guy in high school who I really wanted to be my friend. I pushed too hard, it weirded him out, and he sort of distanced himself from me. I can't forget him, but I can accept the fact that I was desperate for a good friend, I was over-eager, and I screwed up by pushing too hard.

You can't forget these people.
Just accept who they are, and what's been done, and move on.

Lex
 
G-Lexington said:
You can't forget.
But you can accept.
Click to expand...

Sorry, I don't want to accept anything.

There must be some practical way to forget about someone because these memories seem to be haunting me recently and I'm very TIRED of the mental and emotional aggrevation they're causing me.
 
You don't see the correlation?

These things are haunting you precisely BECAUSE you haven't accepted them. And because of that, you can't move on.

So take some time to accept them. Accept the fact that people were horrible to you and/or you were horrible to people. It happens. Once you accept these things, they can't cause you any more anguish.

Lex
 
Zildjian said:
Sorry, I don't want to accept anything.

There must be some practical way to forget about someone because these memories seem to be haunting me recently and I'm very TIRED of the mental and emotional aggrevation they're causing me.
Click to expand...

you really ought to listen to lex.

these experiences you wish to dispel you really cannot. whether or not you want to acknowledge it they are a part of you and make up the tapestry that is your life.

perhaps you should consider a counselor or a therapist to work these issues out. hopefully in the end you will look back on these issues and will have learned something from them.

good luck to you! (*8*)
 
You don't need to accept anything; yet.

You need closure.

Closure gets harder to a) do, and b) get the longer after the "crisis" has passed.

You have a few options available to you.

1. You can contact this person and tell them what you think and how you feel.
As I said, the more time that has passed the more difficult and weird this option seems.

2. You can write a letter/journal entry/ies about what you think and feel.
For some people, just getting the thoughts and feeling on to paper gets it out of their system.

3. You can visit a psychologist. (Don't see a psychiatrist... those pill pushers.) This will be a timely and costly endeavor. The goal may be to change your perception of the event(s)/people, it may be to change your self talk, to disassociate the negative feelings with common triggers, etc.

4. You can talk to a friend. This could be a cheaper (read: free) version of option three. Just make sure your talking doesn't become you venting about the same thing(s) over and over again and not doing anything about it.

Once (if) you get closure, you'll no longer be preoccupied with the event/person. Depending on the scope of the issue and how unsatisfied you are with how things are will determine how much work you have to do and how much time it will take before you achieve an acceptable level of closure.

Good luck.
 
Make sure you don't have a mind like a sieve, where all you remember are the lumps.

Time is a great healer. As you get older, you'll find that after a truckload of life experiences, you can just shut out the bad ones as long as, as everyone else has pointed out, you have accepted and forgiven. Everyone I've known who has had the capacity to forgive others and forgive themselves, tend to shed all the bad memories.

It is not forgiving that keeps the flame alive.
 
hey bud, i know what you mean. my advice is to try to change the way you think about these people... instead of thinking about the bad times with them and the harm it caused you, try to think of one good thing you learned from them, and then the next time u think about them- consider that positive thought..

best of luck :)
 
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