How to get over a straight friend, I'm heartbroken

[bananagoof]

Well, all of us have had similar experiences. I doubt there are very many gay men on the planet who haven't crushed on a straight friend. the difference is that most of us don't spend six years hoping and wishing and ignoring our own welfare.

You haven't spent six years loving this guy, you've spent six years obsessing about him.

Frankly, that's an issue you have with yourself. Why would you do that? Why in all those six years haven't you done something to help yourself?

You've spent six years chasing something you knew you were never going to get. Why?

Because you just loved him so? That might play if it was a few months, a year maybe, but six years?

You need to go get some counseling. No one tortures themselves for that long without something else going on.

We in here can help you talk it through, but you really need more professional expertise than we can provide.

tr1028, I really think you should consider what this poster has said. While I don't doubt that this friend of yours is great, a trusted person in your life and really cute, etc, etc...as you grow older you start to realize that there are things in your life you stop yourself from having, even though you could. Love is a big one. Ever heard how girls say "why do I ALWAYS pick the wrong guy, boo boo" ?? Well, that's a pattern for a reason.

What you're doing right now is torturing yourself. And I think you're doing it, because you really believe it's easier than trying to move on. But you DO have options. You have TIME for one thing, and in time you'll meet a LOT of other people who could actually be your boyfriend.

I would suggest speaking to a counsellor. A lot of people go through this type of thing, so try to remember that you're still young, and as much as you think you can't live without this person, you can and you know what? It'll be AMAZING to see that someone else can love you for everything you are. There are MANY fish in the sea. I'm sorry this guy won't be that person, but maybe try to not to set yourself up like that. Try not to confuse friendship with lust or desire.

And definitely don't wait too long if you're interested in a guy to find out if he swings that way. But most importantly, learn to ask yourself why you do the things you do. "Why am I hoping my close friend will be gay, when I could be looking for someone I know is gay to be with?"

You'll find that having a real relationship with someone else is the real deal, whereas this...this is puppy love mixed with loneliness and obsession, I think.