How to get over hurt

[Txgoodoldboy]

I don't know why people do these things, but it does seem to be part of the breakup ritual.

You have to go by what he does, not what he says. Actions speak louder than words. It seems like he doesn't want the relationship, but he wants the power he has over you.

Ending a relationship is a lot like dealing with a death. It takes about a year to adjust to the loss of the relationship. Hang in there, it sounds like the worst is over.

The only person you have power over is yourself.

 

[herenthere]

Maybe your b/f is dealing with some guilt, and not sure how to handle it. Could he be trying to "push" you far enough to where you will strick back, and then he will have a reason to break the relationship. Some people just need that pound of flesh before they can move on..

Stay strong, it will get better..Good Luck

 

[ahotjock71]

He has to tear you down to make himself feel better. He seems to have issues he needed to work on within himself, and instead he hurts you to get a temporary rush to avoid focus.

If you love yourself, have nothing at all to do with him anymore.

 

[Riverrick]

He has to tear you down to make himself feel better. He seems to have issues he needed to work on within himself, and instead he hurts you to get a temporary rush to avoid focus.

If you love yourself, have nothing at all to do with him anymore.

That's exactly how I see it.

He's kind of messed up right now so I'd stay away from him too.

 

[tbonez]

Ex BF turns into Scheiße frau? I can so relate!

What is up with that? So the break-up is history, it's all over and all you want is a modicum of civility, seems reasonable eh? Now you are wondering who is this a-hole and what did he do with the guy you were so in love with?

All I can say is you are not alone and it is likely no reflection on you. You just can't reason with an unreasonable person, even when they get exactly what they asked for...literally. I'm dealing with a bit of this myself right now, mind you, not to the degree you are. I have just thrown my hands up and have decided it just needs to run it's course.

When you let yourself fall for someone there is a chance they are going to rip your heart out of your chest and stomp on it. What choice do we have? Become an old jaded bitch and never fall for another boi?

I'm thinking somewhere there is "the one" out there. If at first, (or second, or third..) you don't succeed, try, try again.

BTW, I found a voodoo doll a friend made for me helped me work out some frustration. Really, I'm not kidding. At some level you need to work out your frustrations...IME they don't just dissipate on their own.

 

[tbonez]

. Go out and dance with friends. Do whatever you have to do to get out of the house and have fun.

I know it hurts now but it will get better. I promise.

Indeed!

That's the same advice Elvin gave me when he dumped me and rejected my marriage proposal.

At least he's consistent I guess.

Meany!

 

[190E]

You rise above his childish tactics, and ignore him. Continue to do what you were doing. Dont respond to any lies you hear, or any of his friends. If he wants to be childish and spread things around, or he wants to do things to you, you ignore them. Lead by example, I was always told that the best taste of revenge when someone is upset with you or a situation is to be as nice as is humanly possible. I know exactly how you feel, with the exception that at my college the 'gays' have formed a social net so that if one thing gets said, everyone and his brother knows of it, hell they know things of my relationship I didnt even know of. lol If necessary to remove the problem, drop some people. If they want to continue the lies, rumors, and horrible things he's doing, they're not worth your time, you can always make new friends. I've dropped just about everyone of my 'friends' who were aiding the rumors being spread, and I'm all that much better for it, plus I have an awesome man now. When you remove the negatives from your life, it will be so much more simple.

 

[confusedboy23]

Looks like you're handling it very well indeed. Congratulations!!!

I'm sure you'll be over him in no time so keep it up!

 

[Soilwork]

After my first REAL boyfriend dumped me for being "short and fat and unattractive", I broke into his apartment, cut the crotches out of all of his pants, pissed in every one of his hair-care products, spit in every jar in his fridge, smoked four cigarettes and butted them in his new broadloom carpet, empited a jar of strawbeery jam into the back crevice of his couch (to attract the fruit flies and cock roaches) and stole his bedroom door so I could hang it over my couch.





It gave me closure.

 

[ahotjock71]

After my first REAL boyfriend dumped me for being "short and fat and unattractive", I broke into his apartment, cut the crotches out of all of his pants, pissed in every one of his hair-care products, spit in every jar in his fridge, smoked four cigarettes and butted them in his new broadloom carpet, empited a jar of strawbeery jam into the back crevice of his couch (to attract the fruit flies and cock roaches) and stole his bedroom door so I could hang it over my couch.


It gave me closure.

I've seen you post this before, and I LOVE IT!

 

[Andreus]

Re: Any advice would be great

This thread isn't about looking for sympathy but rather quite the opposite....moving on.

Recently my b/f called it quits and that was hard enough....but it has become obvious that he is now out to hurt me as much as he possibly can and I don't know why nor understand. I have remained loyal and have tried to be reasonable over the last few months, but to no avail.

He has lied to me, deceived me, ripped me off emotionally (false promises and expectations built due to) and financially but still says that he loves me. Pffft! Myoookaaaay. I have been no angel either but have never done any such things to him (I just wouldn't, could not even think of such things to do to anybody but esp. to someone I supposedly "love". Hah!).

Anyway, I'm accepting that it's over but still cannot get over the fact that he could do those things and still trying to make me "be in pain" (he knows my weaknesses) over this, yet say he still loves me. I'm stunned. Are there people really like this in the world?

PS I do have a sense of humor and can laugh about this too, so....

time

i think the pain never leaves

you just become more accustomed to it