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How To Identify A Gay Man Pretending To Be Straight...

Re: How To Identify A Gay Man Pretending To Be Str

The biggest things to remember when dealing these guys in my experience:

Discreet, bi guys have an infinitely better chance than openly gay guys do. Sorry, I don't make the rules. A threesome with a hot chic can be a good way to peak his interest in you. That doesn't mean you can't try if you are gay. But, if you are gay... For fucks sake, lay off of the "pussy is gross" mentality when you are around these guys. That's one of my biggest peeves with gay guys and it will likely hurt your chances.

You MUST be discreet, even if he is single and not dating at the moment, he likely doesn't want this particular aspect of his life becoming common knowledge to his friends, family, and coworkers. Don't expect that he will want to "come out" just because you have sex a few times.

He may have a sexual attraction to you, but his emotional attachment to you may not go beyond being a friend. If that's OK with you then there shouldn't be a problem.

Don't expect that these guys are going to be into every kinky thing you can do in bed. Many of these guys are NOT open to anal sex with another guy even if they do it with women, because they associate it with being gay. It may also be that it's just is a turn off for them, or maybe they want to be safe. That's not to say they wont decide they want to try it at some point, but in any case, don't be pushy about it and don't underestimate the great sex and SAFE sex you can have without going anal.

Expect to get invited camping, boating, fishing etc... for the sole purpose of having lots of sex. These are often a guys only way of getting away from friends or family for any significant time. Think broke back mountain.

Military, military, military... I've had sex with more military men than non-military by far. Marines can step to the front of my line ..| . By and large these guys seem to be more sexually adventurous than their non-military counterparts. Right now, three of my buddies are serving in Iraq and one is in Afghanistan... Damn Dick Cheney and George Bush:grrr:[/QUOTE]

Well said!

It's not a one dimensional thing. Whoever said "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" had it right.

If you want the straight/bi closet cases, you have to convincingly act like a straight/bi closet case, because if they're not out, and in public, the last thing they will risk is being "outed" by their behavior. And, like it or not for the flamboyant ones out there, guys like this tend to only show interest in guys like themselves, and they'll actively avoid guys with outward, unmistakable "mannerisms".

I'm one of those "nobody would guess" types. I agree with the others that the eyes tell the whole story, but they tell the story only in a context of the situation.

Making eye contact with a guy at the mall is just a hint. You've got to add, or create, some context to accurately tell what kind of a hint it really is.

I've locked eyes with hot dudes at the mall who were with a girlfriend or wife, and done the second glance with them too. What do I do? I reposition myself somewhere else, (kind of stalking them, but discretely), and "create" an opportunity to see if it happens again. Scientists call this validation I think lol.

If the eye contact does happen again, I still don't assume they're a closet case, but I will do something innocuously overt, like, start walking to the mens room.

I can't tell you HOW many times I've had dudes show up at the urinal next to me 5 minutes later and end up jacking each other, or more.

The same thing goes for the gym I workout at. Open minded dudes tend to check each other out in the locker room. Homophobes don't look, and don't like to be looked at either. And, if you're flamboyant, you could get your ass beat for even being in that locker room with them.

In my experience, the truly str8 ones tend to be very self-conscious about being naked around other men. They don't need to show off their shit, and they kind of probably resent other guys showing off theirs. They don't need to see your dick, they don't want to, and they don't advertise theirs either.

The open minded or closet case guys tend to be the ones who are naked in the locker room more, and longer, than is really necessary. They're putting their goods on display, and they're checking out the others who are too.

The context? In the locker room, they're checking out the goods. If they check out the goods and then make eye contact, or visa versa, they're probably open minded and something might/could happen.

There is no one single thing you can use to identify "interested" guys, but if you think of things in logical (not wishful) combinations, and play it cool, you can usually find your answer.

I could go on an on, mostly because the subtleties you have to look for in combinations are endless.

There is no one size fits all easy button answer to detecting these things, but with practice, you can get it right more often than not.
 
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