How to Kindly Influence Someone to Exercise

[ArmorFallingDown]

Hi ya'll! Hope you guys are doing well.

I have an issue. I want to influence my family to exercise more and STOP FRYING FOODS! It is unhealthy and I really don't want anyone to end up diabetic (which is hereditary in my family). I'm a pescetarian (vegetarian only including fish) and this has led to some meals being prepared without meat and bad additives. I also don't drink sodas or eat candy either. However, they still eat a lot of unhealthy foods and they add salt to everything and I want it to stop. None of them exercise either.
I am primarily concerned about my parents. My father is on medication and my mother ALWAYS complains about how unwell she feels. She also has trouble walking. I am really not trying to be self-righteous or anything of the sort because I have struggled with my weight and inactivity, too. I know it's difficult. I know people can be busy, but the excuses have to end eventually. I have heard my mom say "The Lord will take me when it's my time...", but (while I am very religious) I think we as individuals also have a say in our destiny in some circumstances. I have also heard them talk about feeling as iff they've had strokes and stuff (this is hidden from me b/c I'm 18.)
So my question is: how can I subtly influence my family to take up a healthier lifestyle. I must say, I have thought about fucking up the cord to the fryer, but I can't be that malicious of a person. As I prepare to leave for college, I won't be able to impact their lives as much as I can now. I am trying so hard to lose weight and get buff to show them that it is possible, but I'm sure that if I do get to that goal physique, they'll say that it was only possible because of my age. I should offer to get them water more often possibly. Help me please you guys. Have you ever been in this predicament with a loved one? Sorry to sound so dramatic
. This issue has been bothering me for much of my life.

 

[teadrinker]

Get 'em to a doctor. If your folks are like many people I know, they'll probably respond better to medical advice than well-meaning advice from family members. And if they mistrust doctors, get them to somebody they do trust who will point out to them a few home truths.

-T.

 

[Horschallen]

Give gift certificates for Christmas?

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

Hi ya'll! Hope you guys are doing well.

I have an issue. I want to influence my family to exercise more and STOP FRYING FOODS! It is unhealthy and I really don't want anyone to end up diabetic (which is hereditary in my family). I'm a pescetarian (vegetarian only including fish) and this has led to some meals being prepared without meat and bad additives. I also don't drink sodas or eat candy either. However, they still eat a lot of unhealthy foods and they add salt to everything and I want it to stop. None of them exercise either.
I am primarily concerned about my parents. My father is on medication and my mother ALWAYS complains about how unwell she feels. She also has trouble walking. I am really not trying to be self-righteous or anything of the sort because I have struggled with my weight and inactivity, too. I know it's difficult. I know people can be busy, but the excuses have to end eventually. I have heard my mom say "The Lord will take me when it's my time...", but (while I am very religious) I think we as individuals also have a say in our destiny in some circumstances. I have also heard them talk about feeling as iff they've had strokes and stuff (this is hidden from me b/c I'm 18.)
So my question is: how can I subtly influence my family to take up a healthier lifestyle. I must say, I have thought about fucking up the cord to the fryer, but I can't be that malicious of a person. As I prepare to leave for college, I won't be able to impact their lives as much as I can now. I am trying so hard to lose weight and get buff to show them that it is possible, but I'm sure that if I do get to that goal physique, they'll say that it was only possible because of my age. I should offer to get them water more often possibly. Help me please you guys. Have you ever been in this predicament with a loved one? Sorry to sound so dramatic
. This issue has been bothering me for much of my life.

learn how cook ans stuff um healthy includin fry food

or next reply may not figure

get ya country go learn how be country where folk give up ans no give a fuck ans wanna just die Polite of course

or get one great universitys doins their job ans any one of da top 20 stoopid porfessions on planet what help ans keep millions in da ( classified )

or or or

there go but please adjust fa ya country culture locals ans etc so on ans da obvious < what you know but may no a figure cause

thankyou ans may college bring future tadayi f not in million years time when it too late

 

[bankside]

It depends what the goal is. Is it nutritional puritanism, or just a better diet?

I would never become a pescetarian. First of all, I'm not convinced it is justified on health grounds, and yes I've read lots about nutrition. But more to the point, I just don't want to. I like beef, pork, and fried things too much.

However I would easily move towards (and have already) a mediterranean diet, with smaller portions of meat, lots of olive oil, fish and vegetables, and a nice glass of red wine, fresh nuts and berries, and only the occasional fried treat. It is a lot healthier than a typical north american fast food convenience diet, which is only convenient until you die of heart failure. And I like it.

Maybe the way to overcome resistance is to actually offer something achievable, and flavourful, and within reach of your family instead of an "idealized diet" that they just might never relate to. I'm not saying you don't enjoy the food you eat. But your family might not. And there are still probably healthy choices they would enjoy even if it doesn't meat your standards. Get it? Meat your standards.... LOL...

 

[QuinnRider]

Lets be honest. They won't unless they want to or feel the need to. Be honest and tell them you're worried because of family history and how they keep saying how they are feeling. But you have to remember, it'll always be their choice what they do and it is never your place to shame them into doing something you want them to do.

 

[justsimon]

Have you tried planning family outings that include some light exercise? What about offering to cook dinner a few nights a week and making something healthy? (Salt's just fine as long as you don't go overboard.)

 

[Asenath]

Lets be honest. They won't unless they want to or feel the need to. Be honest and tell them you're worried because of family history and how they keep saying how they are feeling. But you have to remember, it'll always be their choice what they do and it is never your place to shame them into doing something you want them to do.

Pretty much, this. Fat people know they're fat. They don't need well-meaning people to heap insult to injury. Go to the doctor for anything - especially if you are a woman - and instead of looking for causes, they attribute it to your weight. Go to eat in public and watch people stare at you with reproach on their faces. Go out in public to shop, and have absolute strangers walk up and tell you what to put in your basket to help you lose weight.

Home should be safe from those pressures. Basically, what you can do is live healthy as an example, and be supportive if your parents come to you about starting a new routine.

Anything else is rude & presumptuous.

 

[8tomtoms8]

Really all you can do is lead by example, especially at 18. Parents or anyone for that matter won't pay much attention to what you say because you are so young. BUT, YOU can be the healthiest, most fit guy you can be. You very well may inspire them. I was in a situation kind of like yours so I hired a personal trainer, and after four years I'm in the best shape of my life. My family all thinks it's great but none of them have done what I've done. It takes a lot of work and dedication and most people aren't willing to do it.
You can only live your life and they can only live theirs. That being said, YOU are to be commended for making the change. I completely support and respect you for it.

 

[bendted]

. I have heard my mom say "The Lord will take me when it's my time..."

With an attitude such as this, I'm afraid there is not much hope. But, isn't gluttony a "sin?" You could use that on her, but I doubt a religious debate would help or be appropriate.

 

[AlmondMilk]

Get 'em to a doctor. If your folks are like many people I know, they'll probably respond better to medical advice than well-meaning advice from family members. And if they mistrust doctors, get them to somebody they do trust who will point out to them a few home truths.

-T.

QFT

Everyone responds differently. Some people will start reacting when someone they knew had a heart attack or something. Others will respond when their doctor tells them to. It's unfortunate that they don't realize these problems are caused by lack of exercise. Do they like to dance? If so, I'd recommend taking a Zumba class as a family. Why the class instead of the game? Well, you can get the vibe from the instructor. There's no right or wrong when you do the "moves." It's all about having fun at your own pace with a group of other people.

 

[BearBoi]

Buy them a bathroom scale.

Then run. They won't be able to keep up anyway.

 

[ArmorFallingDown]

Pretty much, this. Fat people know they're fat. They don't need well-meaning people to heap insult to injury. Go to the doctor for anything - especially if you are a woman - and instead of looking for causes, they attribute it to your weight. Go to eat in public and watch people stare at you with reproach on their faces. Go out in public to shop, and have absolute strangers walk up and tell you what to put in your basket to help you lose weight.

Home should be safe from those pressures. Basically, what you can do is live healthy as an example, and be supportive if your parents come to you about starting a new routine.

Anything else is rude & presumptuous.

Thanks to everyone for your answers. Asenath's response really shook me because I do realize that home should be a safe haven from societal pressures. Please don't get the wrong idea about me, I have never said anything to them about their health and I don't even notice it most of the time. It's only when I see the medications they take and hear them struggle to get up. That's when I worry. Also, I am not doing this for shallow reasons at all. I think my family is beautiful. Anyway, my mother often tells me that she's reluctant to go to the doctor for the reason you specified earlier, so medical advice is out of the question

I am in no way attempting to de-meat/vegetarian-ize my family. That was my choice. Also, they don't eat a lot anyway. I just want them to choose better foods and incorporate exercise in their week.

I think I will try to go on more walks with them and cook for them more.

 

[Swellegant]

You could try cooking for them. Most people will try something once, if someone else cooks it. If your way of eating tastes good, they might be more inclined to let you cook for them more frequently. And you might want to unbend about the fish thing, a lot of people simply don't like the taste of fish.

But really, wanting to "influence" people, even with good intentions, is pointless, frustrating, and damaging to you and to them. They know that their health problems and their diets are linked, but they don't wish to change their diets, and so they ignore that link. It's not like they're ignorant... they're willful, and you cannot change the will of another person. You just can't. So just give that up right now.

The bottom line is that they're your parents, you're not theirs. You can certainly set an example, but you cannot change them.

 

[rollex_2000]

First off, tell them that they are fat! (if they are). It's okay to hurt somebody while telling the cold truth. Then tell them that you would like them to decide to become healthier and you would be glad to help them with this by planing things out! Then let them come to you, or yet better start setting an example.
You can't really 'force' somebody to start exercising and keep up with it, until they truly want it.

 

[ArmorFallingDown]

First off, tell them that they are fat! (if they are). It's okay to hurt somebody while telling the cold truth. Then tell them that you would like them to decide to become healthier and you would be glad to help them with this by planing things out! Then let them come to you, or yet better start setting an example.
You can't really 'force' somebody to start exercising and keep up with it, until they truly want it.

Yeah....don't think I'll be following this advice. I actually like my family. Hahaha. Thanks though.

 

[Jayden]

Just have them do my sexy dance......

 

[PreTTy PeTe]

Maybe Maybe Maybe

You should stop taking everyone else's inventory in lifestyle choices.

and concentrate on your own.

 

[doctorsun]

As someone who's very obese myself, I can tell you that getting someone to exercise who is used to being sedentary is next to impossible. As others have said, if they're overweight, they know they are overweight. It's not a secret. They know what they SHOULD be doing. Do you live with your family? If you do, you'd be better off focusing on getting them to change their eating habits (no easy task, either, but still easier than getting someone to exercise). Even a small change can make a big difference. If they see themselves starting to lose a little weight and feel healthier just from the small change in their diet, they'll be more inclined to keep the momentum going. They'll have more energy and won't be so hesitant to start moving.

 

[QuinnRider]

More advice, maybe YOU should start making them some food if you are truly worried, make them more balanced meals. You can't try and tell them what to do and then walk out the door per say.

As an overweight person, I know the trials and tribulations that come with it. I have struggled so long with my weight because of how others viewed me. I was only able to be truly happy when I shut them out and was able to view myself as a true person who was perfect any way that I am. Even being chubby I am healthy as a fucking horse, I still have men constantly wanting to get with me, I still live life and am happy. I also am one of those chubby guys who is pretty active, eats a more balanced diet, rarely eats fried food. I am fat because of overeating and because I have fat genes and an extremely low metabolism, or so says my endocrinologist and a few other doctors I would go to.