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How to make Gay Friends

At uni...there were two gay guys on the floor at halls (other than me...but then i didn't come out...didn't feel the need/want to). Couldn't stand either of them.

I don't see it as having 'gay' mates though. Surely a friend is a friend irregardless

In a sense its like saying 'I want a black friend'...'oh...i don't have a Asian friend...how do i make an Asian friend'
 
OK, MOST people are drama queens, gay or not.

To be honest, my straight friends are a bit less stable than most of my gay friends.
 
Seems to me no matter where you meet friends, their sexual orientation would be of little consequence. As long as they are accepting and open to sharing in your life and you are open to sharing in theirs. I disagree with anyone in this thread who suggests you can't meet friends in certain places. Don't limit your experiences. Friends are one of the most valuable assets we can have in our lives.

That is my two cents....
 
I don't see it as having 'gay' mates though. Surely a friend is a friend irregardless

In a sense its like saying 'I want a black friend'...'oh...i don't have a Asian friend...how do i make an Asian friend'

I'd argue that it's not quite that simple. It's more like being Asian with all white friends and wishing you had some other Asian friends. The basis of all friendships is that you both have something in common. Sometimes that's a hobby or a similar sense of humor or a workplace or even a cultural background. Just I like having friends I can geek out with about computers or friends I can go hiking with or friends I can talk about my esoteric music tastes with, it's nice having gay friends who understand exactly where I'm coming from sexuality-wise who I don't have to worry might be awkward or uninterested in my problems with dating, having sex and otherwise generally dealing with other men. There's something to be said for having a social circle that roughly covers the different aspects of you. That typically means broadening that circle to a few different groups.

I'd also say it's this same commonality which brings all of you to JUB. If it wasn't important to interact with other gay men, why would you be here? All your friends certainly don't need to be gay, but it is nice to have at least some of them IMHO.
 
I'd just like to point out that the US version of Queer As Folk was filmed mostly in Toronto.
 
i dont have many gay friends but i dont really see that as a major issue. your friends are people that should care about you. it doesnt really matter what sexual orientation they are.
 
i have a couple of gay friends, and we have grown together over 2 years now.
rule no 1: do not have sex together
rule no 2: do not choose to befriend people because you are attracted to them but can't have them.
rule no 3: you should have more in common than just being gay.

WOW..if you lived in America, we would be friends. These are three things that you are perfectly right about. I have found it very difficult to make gay friends who are friends with me because of common interests or personality. They want to sleep with me or date me and I am not interested in them, then they do not stay in contact as much or stop contacting me at all...and I didn't meet these folks at a bar.
 
How do you find all these clubs events and friendly places? i sure as hell have looked around as well as googling it but i can onlt find corny outdated, sparse info about my area... and bars. i want a relationship but cant find the right setting to meet people.:confused::confused:
 
I'm in a tough spot. I have several close friends, all straight women. All of my friends know I'm gay, but I live with my family and they don't know, which makes it hard to go out and meet people.

I made a gay friend in college, and we got pretty close for a while. He lives within commuting distance, but I hardly ever see him. He is my only connection to any kind of gay community, and I've never been good at meeting new people; I'm very socially anxious, so the close friendships I do have happened because they approached me.

I've never been on a date, never been in a relationship, I hooked up with that friend a few times but haven't had much in the way of sex. I don't drink, don't smoke. I'm not into the bar scene. I've been to a couple of fun clubs, but I happier staying in. And I'm leery of internet hookups. I'm in a period of feeling pretty isolated.

Sorry for ranting, just needed to get that off my chest.
 
Thank you for the reply, huntneo. I'm more open than I used to be to online options. It's just a matter of finding a way not to get caught up in the "Let's just get together and fuck" crowd. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just not for me.

I definitely need to put myself out there more. It's just a matter of figuring out where "out there" is and how to get there.
 
All in all - be fun and the fun will come to you.

My husband and I have met lots of other gay couples in the 5 years we've been together, but finding another couple that you want to remain friends with and socialize with seems as difficult as finding a spouse. So far we've only met one other gay couple that we enjoy socializing with, and even then we only get together about once every 2-3 months.

SuperQueer, I like the potluck/supper club idea. That seems like something I could really get into. I'm going to give it a try and see how it works.
(*8*)(*8*)(*8*)
 
Its not the fact I don't have friends... I have plenty..

and I hate to categorize "Gay" but its one thing I would like to share with another gay/bi guy... just like hanging out. I can't talk to my straight friends on how hot a guy is.. it just doesn't work that way.


And I understand.. gay or not.. a friend is a friend no matter what/how/who they are.

It's just frustrating sometimes.
 
i know the feeling i live in a small town with small towns all a Rowen me so if there are gays or bi out there .there's know place for us to go to and as to make friends on line is jest as hard :wave:
 
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