How to meet a guy...

[GayJerseyGuy]

Ok...so I don't do gay clubs, nor do I want to find Mr. Right at a bar either...

So how do you find a date (not just a quick hook-up) besides craigslist?

HELP!!

 

[wendigo3]

Networking seems to be the easiest way. Tell your friends you're interested in meeting guys, and eventually they'll tell their friends. Everyone is supposed to know someone that knows everyone else, right?

 

[midnight81]

Wendigo, you'd think that would be easy but it's not. I'm in the same boat and I've tried putting the APB out and got nothing in return. A lot of my friends have gay friends who live out of state, or they knew someone but lost touch, or I am their gay friend.

Any other suggestions cuz I am also curious and sick of being single.

 

[G-Lexington]

There's this thought that homosexuals get up (around 5pm), get dressed (fabulously), go to clubs until sunrise, then go home. And that's it. Nope.

We go grocery shopping.
We go to the park.
We go to the zoo.
We go out to eat.
We take classes.
We volunteer.
We go to shopping.
We go to sporting events.

We're EVERYWHERE.

So get out there. Prefereably in the "gay part of town", if your town has one. Smile. Stay open. Start conversations. Be friendly. You'll start meeting people.

If you want to be more proactive about it all, you can either join a "gay social group" in your area, or put out an ad. "GSM seeks same."

Lex

 

[evil_danger]

You could always try to turn a straight mate.

(P.S dont try to turn a straight mate, it was a joke, any action to turn a straight mate could result in a broken nose)

 

[Shepherd 2]

A non fast food eating establishment is a good place.
It mayor may not serve alcoholic beverages. Look around and notice that there will be, almost always another man or two who are alone. If someone is near your age and looks interesting, you may get up and invite him to eat at your table. If it leads to something else, great, if it simple goes no where, you had lunch with another man. You are not alone.

Then try again, and again, and again.
Eating and chatting go together.
Talk about new filsm or whatever interests you,
a concert nearby, etc.
Shep+

 

[blackdarren]

Check your gay newspaper...

...and see if they are any social/support groups in your area, i.e.: sci-fi, sport, hiking, religious, ethnic, etc,...the guys that frequent such groups are usually sober, meet in well-illuminated places and are reasonably intelliglible...unlike bars and clubs which are alientaing, atagonistic and full of drunk agressive guys...

Mr Right may not be in attendance at the aforementioned groups but maybe his friend is...

I concur with you...I seldom frequent bars and clubs because they are too dark and I'm a Blackamerican

....and I like guys who don't need to drink to have a good time....I don't drink alcohol at all....

goodhunting

 

[Caeth]

it's freaking hard in my experience.

I like to call my experience "The Grand Rejection Game"

Either someone gets interested in me and I reject him.
Or I am interested in someone and he rejects me.

Very rarely there's a "match".

But I'm becoming very cynical! =D

 

[blackdarren]

Hey Caeth with age comes...

not only wisdom but discernment....give the other guy a break...

goodhunting

 

[strataboy19]

I go grocery shopping.
I go to the park.
I go to the zoo...sometimes...
I go out to eat...maybe a little too much...
I take classes.
I volunteer.
I go to shopping.
I go to sporting events.

I'm EVERYWHERE.

...and I'm still single, lol. Oh well. Maybe if I went to the zoo more and went out to eat less things would work out for me.

 

[SilverRRCloud]

When you come to think about it, there is no logical reason for you to believe that you cannot and will not meet your Mr. Right via the Craig's list or that he may not be waiting for you in one of the gay bars, clubs, spas, whatever?

Actually, you are limiting the scope of your search and making it only more difficult for you to connect with qualified guys, whom you may date and eventually establish an LTR with.

It is simply wrong to believe that 'good guys' do not frequent gay bars or are nor hooking up with other dudes for some m2m sex via Craig's. They are. Good guys, too want to get their rocks off and trust me, hardly anyone of them is going to wait for a year or two, until his Mr. Right comes along.

Use absolutely every avenue of exploration. Network. Use web to the fullest. Be open-minded and positive and never exclude anyone or anything a priori. Watch people around you and connect. Make friends.

But do not ever think that you are doing yourself any particular service by excluding and/or reducing your options to meet other people.

Sure, you do, as you find fit. I thought, I'd simply share my experience for the benefit of those, who may be interested in it.

SC

 

[midnight81]

Silver, the point isn't that there aren't any good guys at the clubs or on Craigslist. The idea is that it is like finding a needle in a haystack and that most likely you are not going to find your soulmate through a one-night stand because you're not really getting to know each other, you're just screwing.

Meanwhile, I hate bars and clubs, so why would I want to wade through the superficial horn dogs to find the one or two good guys who look just like the rest in a place I won't even have fun in?

 

[mabby7]

Coffee places ... starbucks ... cafes ... upmarket fast food places ...

 

[Spensed]

Re: Check your gay newspaper...

...and see if they are any social/support groups in your area, i.e.: sci-fi, sport, hiking, religious, ethnic, etc,...the guys that frequent such groups are usually sober, meet in well-illuminated places and are reasonably intelliglible...unlike bars and clubs which are alientaing, atagonistic and full of drunk agressive guys...

Mr Right may not be in attendance at the aforementioned groups but maybe his friend is...

That kind of social networking (also gay focused political clubs or charities) are a good idea and a better bet than cruising strangers, which some guys are better at doing than others.

It increases the chances of coming across Mr Right and it's also worth doing in any event.

 

[Rick18]

Silver, the point isn't that there aren't any good guys at the clubs or on Craigslist. The idea is that it is like finding a needle in a haystack and that most likely you are not going to find your soulmate through a one-night stand because you're not really getting to know each other, you're just screwing.

Meanwhile, I hate bars and clubs, so why would I want to wade through the superficial horn dogs to find the one or two good guys who look just like the rest in a place I won't even have fun in?

This is a misconception. I don't go to a club to get laid. I go to the club with a group of friends to dance and have a good time. Not everyone in a club goes to get laid, this isn't Queer as Folk.