A very good start would be to honestly define your goal.
A) You want to primarily shoot the breeze and socialize with other gay dudes?
Try a gay sports club, gay male choir, gay drama group (is there a str8 one?) or something along those lines. Sure, one thing may lead to another, but that's neither here nor there. You want to socialize and you do that there.
B) You want to get your rocks off
A gay club, bar, spa, cruising area, etc., would do. No need to waste your time on shooting the breeze. You want sex. Go there and get it.
C) You want a regular buddy, possibly a boyfriend?
Go to all the web sites, Craig's, etc., and start searching. It will take loads of time and energy but you will get there, too.
Obviously, you can find Mr. Right or even Mr. Right Now just about everywhere. You can also win millions of $$$, if you play lottery, too.
But, life is really about gauging your odds and acting accordingly.
I'd be the last man here to suggest that life is not full of surprises and that the good things do not happen unexpectedly. They sure do.
Yet, you want to give your best try each and every time and leave it at that. This is all you can do and this is where you stop and the chance and the other dudes step in.
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My advice: Lots of people will tell you to network through your friends, etc. Not a bad idea either. Yet, I have grown to be very suspicious of guys, who cannot quite sort out their lives on their own.
So, if someone is going 'to arrange' something for you, take it with a proverbial pinch of salt. Dudes, who need other dudes to promote them are usually having issues...
If it comes naturally, without plotting and planning, the chances are, you'll be better off taking that avenue...
SC