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How To Meet Guys?

A

amwao1

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I don't really know how to start this other than saying that I don't really know how to meet guys.

I'm 32 years old and I've never been in a relationship, I've never even been anywhere close to being in a relationship. I've had guys I've been interested in and I've let them know but it's never been reciprocated. The only guys who have ever been interested in me have been way over my age limit (talking 60, 70+ and I'm no offense but I couldn't date somebody old enough to be my dad). I've recently been diagnosed as autistic which makes me wonder if I've just been doing something wrong this whole time because social interaction is a hugely strange concept to me. But even on dating apps (and hook-up apps) I don't ever get any interest which makes me wonder if it's my physical appearance (especially given the large amount of body image issues that can stem from the intake of gay media).

I've tried putting myself into situations where I can meet openly gay guys - I was part of the LGBT society at University and regularly went out to gay clubs - but, once again, nobody ever shows any interest.

But I honestly don't know how people do it. I wouldn't know how to ask a guy out or where/when is the right time to do so or even if they were interested in me (plus the idea of doing so is absolutely terrifying). It's easier on dating apps but I never get the matches, or if I do they don't talk. I'm just confused by the whole idea and lately been getting this feeling that I'm just going to be single forever and that's really not something I want.
 
Just hang in there it is never easy but sooner to later you will meet some nice people !
 
amwao1 said:
I don't really know how to start this other than saying that I don't really know how to meet guys.

I'm 32 years old and I've never been in a relationship, I've never even been anywhere close to being in a relationship. I've had guys I've been interested in and I've let them know but it's never been reciprocated. The only guys who have ever been interested in me have been way over my age limit (talking 60, 70+ and I'm no offense but I couldn't date somebody old enough to be my dad). I've recently been diagnosed as autistic which makes me wonder if I've just been doing something wrong this whole time because social interaction is a hugely strange concept to me.
Click to expand...

If you're on the spectrum, it's possible that you might be getting interest from people but have difficulty recognizing the cues.

Google "Gay autism groups". There's quite a lot there, including a facebook group. There, you might get some advice on how to better recognize these cues.

Interestingly, there are also a few articles about how people on the spectrum are more likely to come out as gay because they are not as susceptible to "normal" social conditioning.
 
When I see topics like "How To Meet Guys? ", I'm always thinking there's a prepositional phrase missing.

For sex?

For friendship?

For dating?

And often, that's the same issue in real life. It's not just about meeting people. It's about meeting people who are looking for what you're looking for and communicating what you're looking for clearly.

When I hear guys say, "I have trouble meeting gay guys to date.", my first question is "Do you have gay friends?". The answer is usually "No, not close gay friends". That's probably a good place to start, especially for someone who is on the spectrum. Having close friends who are gay is a way to be involved in the gay community and to meet other gay people- for friends, for fuckbuddies, for hot sweaty buttsex- whatever you're looking for. Another advantage of having close gay friends who you trust is they can be honest with you about where you're going wrong- whether you're not sending the right signals, whether you're not reading the right signals and what you need to change to put yourself out there.

Things are a little weird at the moment- the social activities that we would normally suggest are still affected by the pandemic. Hopefully, that will get better over the next year.
 
amwao1 said:
physical appearance
Click to expand...
Physical appearance is very important for a gay guy. If he is not really attracted to you then he cannot get an erection. If he is not sexually satisfied then he will look for sex from someone else. For gay guys sex first then come love. Prepare your pictures (face, body, penis) for exchange on apps
 
palm2013 said:
Physical appearance is very important for a gay guy. If he is not really attracted to you then he cannot get an erection. If he is not sexually satisfied then he will look for sex from someone else. For gay guys sex first then come love. Prepare your pictures (face, body, penis) for exchange on apps
Click to expand...

Sadly this is why a lot of gay guys is still single for many years and end up old alone because they worry way too much about looks.
 
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Your problem is really not much different from straight folks. Another reply noted that gays are more than straights, interested in appearance. I believe that. I am bi-mostly straight but appearance is exceptionally important to me regardless of gender. Male interest in other males does surround sex, in my opinion, if you are fit, great; if not, get a gym membership. In the meantime, there is always great porn!

Take your time; as I told my straight sons, "don't worry about it; you will bump in to her in the checkout stand at the grocery store.:
 
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