How to meet people? Who should I meet?

[Suteki]

Wow, that sounds dumber than I thought. Anyway, I'm a 20 years old bi guy. I was gay from day 1 to, like, 1 year ago, and I'm still getting used to it (the transition was really scary). I don't like the idea of coming out, so it's extremely difficult for me to meet bi/gay people, but what's even worse, I don't know if I should.

What? Well, I fear I might end up not liking being with a guy now that I'm bi. It's pretty difficult to explain, but that's how I feel sometimes. I think I'm slightly more attracted to guys, but it's never stable... sometimes I feel like I don't really like girls, and sometimes I feel more straight than bi.

So, should I start dating guys or girls? 1 year ago, girls were not even an option, I found the idea of having sex with a girl disgusting... now I don't know what to think anymore. I'd say I still prefer guys, but I'm not 100% sure. If I'm actually bi, do you think I'd adapt to whoever I decide to date?.

If that's not problematic enough, I used to be (at least theorically) "bottom". Now I feel like I can do both, and sometimes I even feel a little "top", lol. This whole post may sound stupid, but my situation is pretty confusing. On top on that, I don't even know how to meet bi/gay people.

I'm not really into dancing, clubs, drinking, etc. so I'm not exposed to the majority of the bi/gay population around me. Chats don't work, people only look for sex, and when I find someone who is not, we just don't "click". I've met pretty interesting guys online, but I'm always too far from them.

Well, that's it, I'd like to read your opinions ^^ Thanks in advance!

 

[Suteki]

Well, that's actually part of the problem, I don't have any friends that know I'm bi/gay/whatever. I honestly don't want that to change, my current "atmosphere" is not exactly gay friendly, and I think I should be able to keep my sexuality to myself. As far as I know, I don't have friends who know openly gay people either, so coming out to them may not be helpful.

Anyway, thanks for the advice ^^ Maybe coming out to some people would not be as farfetched as I thought, even if I really don't want to.

 

[Suteki]

Yikes. Today I met a guy online, and he studies in the same school as me. I looked at his pic, and I'm positive I've seen before. Anyway, I hope he hasn't noticed me, I don't love the idea of someone knowing about my orientation when he's that ridiculously close to me. He's 1 year older than me, and he's kind of cute (even if not really my type), but we certainly didn't mesh together that much, and that's what matters. Maybe he's more interesting offline, who knows... I can't say I'm interested.

 

[Kitesurfboi]

dude, your not alone, you should come into the chat room sometime, there's a few of us in there feeling exactly the same. We've been talking and helping each other to understand and figure things out.

 

[Suteki]

@DickHarden

Well, I think I'd be pretty excited if somehow I felt some kind of attraction towards this guy, but it's simply not the case. However, as I said on the first post, I'm always too far from the people I find interesting :O You may have a point. Well, then I'm simply not ready, I don't have plans to come out, specially when I'm not sure if I'm gay/bi/whatever.

It's funny, because I won't be able to know unless I try, right? But I'll not be able to try because I don't know.

@showmeyoursillshowyoumine

Thanks for the suggestion! I'll definitely try it.

 

[1208Rob]

I'm 20 and I'm having trouble meeting guys too...One of my gay friends who is totally in the gay scene and actually is a go go boy at a local club keeps encouraging me to go to the club with him...I think you just need to meet more gay people. Thats what everyone tells me. So I think I'm just going to go to the club, even though I don't really want to!

 

[Suteki]

So I think I'm just going to go to the club, even though I don't really want to!

Oh, I don't think I'd do that...

Find something you like to do and then find a gay group that does it. You'll meet men that you have something in common with, you'll meet them in a non-sexually charged or alcohol-fueled atmosphere.

That would be awesome, that's what I'm looking for, but it's quite difficult where I live. I don't know about any gay group around here, much less a gay group of people who share my interests.

But Suteki, if it's just men you're attracted to that you want to hang out with, you might run into a few problems. It's best to make a few friends.. even ones you don't wanna shag.

@.@ No! that's not what I want! I just want to know people who I can relate to.

 

[Suteki]

Gosh, I don't want to turn this into a personal add @.@ First of all, I live in an awful city near Mexico City. People around here are so damn closed minded, it's not exactly a gay friendly place. My interests... sheesh, at this point all I want is to meet people who I can have a nice and interesting conversation with, I had enough of sex maniacs and party-only people. I'm pretty screwed up, lol >_<

 

[Suteki]

Well, I'm originally from Mexico City, so yep, I know how it's like. Sadly, we (my family) had to move because of my father's job. But yeah, that sounds like my best bet right now. I just need to get motivated, I give up easily with this. Thanks for your help, I really appreciate it ^^