How to meet virgins

[gd6595]

I am 25 years old. I am happy to say that I am finally starting to come out of the closet, though slightly ashamed that it has taken me this long. I had a tough time with my sexuality growing up. I was confused just figuring things out, then I was in denial for a while, and growing up in a very traditional Christian family didn't make things any easier. But I'm glad that this is all behind me now and I am finally coming out to some people.

Now I would really like to start dating and perhaps starting a relationship with someone. The thing is, I have never been with a guy before - never dated or did anything at all. I was completely closeted. I did have a girlfriend for about 1.5 years, but that's the extent of my relationship experience.

I'm finding it hard at my age to just start out. Most guys my age already have a lot more experience than me. Since I have never dated a guy before and am a virgin, I want to start out slow and learn my way. I definitely want to be with someone in a similar situation - a virgin and just starting to date.

This puts me in a pretty tough spot at my age. Does anyone have some advice for meeting inexperienced, virgin guys? I realize that they would probably be a bit younger than me, and I'm ok with that. It's more important that they also be inexperienced like me than what age they are. I feel like emotionally we would be on the same level anyway since I am just starting out.

Anyway, thanks for listening. I'd appreciate any advice you could give.

 

[bankside]

I am 25 years old. I am happy to say that I am finally starting to come out of the closet, though slightly ashamed that it has taken me this long. I had a tough time with my sexuality growing up. I was confused just figuring things out, then I was in denial for a while, and growing up in a very traditional Christian family didn't make things any easier. But I'm glad that this is all behind me now and I am finally coming out to some people.

Now I would really like to start dating and perhaps starting a relationship with someone. The thing is, I have never been with a guy before - never dated or did anything at all. I was completely closeted. I did have a girlfriend for about 1.5 years, but that's the extent of my relationship experience.

I'm finding it hard at my age to just start out. Most guys my age already have a lot more experience than me. Since I have never dated a guy before and am a virgin, I want to start out slow and learn my way. I definitely want to be with someone in a similar situation - a virgin and just starting to date.

This puts me in a pretty tough spot at my age. Does anyone have some advice for meeting inexperienced, virgin guys? I realize that they would probably be a bit younger than me, and I'm ok with that. It's more important that they also be inexperienced like me than what age they are. I feel like emotionally we would be on the same level anyway since I am just starting out.

Anyway, thanks for listening. I'd appreciate any advice you could give.

That sounds very close to my experience, same age, same dating history. I had garden variety homophobes for parents instead of the card-carrying christians. Now I'm 16 years into my relationship with my guy.

I think you should meet a guy the same way my straight friends meet people and the same way I did: through friends. Just get involved in socializing with people, no dating agenda. Let lots of people get to know you socially. Eventually someone will stand out and you will make it known to him that you think he's special, or vice versa.

Most of all, don't be shy about your lack of multiple dating experiences. Almost all of those other relationships that all those other people have in their past are, by definition, relationships that at least one of them wanted to end because being single was preferable. Being selective and taking things one step at a time is not the same as missing out. Other people may enjoy a more spontaneous style, but you don't need to go about it that way.

 

[borg69unimatrix]

While it's understandable to be insecure and want to start out on an even playing field, I question how realistic it is. There are plenty of experienced cool guys out there who would be willing to take the time to be patient and show you the ropes. In a lot of ways wouldn't that be better than fumbling your ways through it trying to catch up on your own? There's nothing wrong with being inexperienced and letting someone else take the lead.

 

[deathbylemons]

Just like some one, get together, experience some heartache... you know all the stuff. If you and him like each other, I doubt your inexperience would be that much of a deal. You'll learn and pick things up on the way so it's not really a big deal in my opinion.

Oh and probably, you might screw things up more because both of you are inexperience and you won't know how things work or what to do. With someone more experienced, at least there'll be a guide there, and things might be a little more stable.

 

[palbert]

While it's understandable to be insecure and want to start out on an even playing field, I question how realistic it is. There are plenty of experienced cool guys out there who would be willing to take the time to be patient and show you the ropes. In a lot of ways wouldn't that be better than fumbling your ways through it trying to catch up on your own? There's nothing wrong with being inexperienced and letting someone else take the lead.

^^ This.

Welcome to JUB!

 

[palemale]

While it's understandable to be insecure and want to start out on an even playing field, I question how realistic it is. There are plenty of experienced cool guys out there who would be willing to take the time to be patient and show you the ropes. In a lot of ways wouldn't that be better than fumbling your ways through it trying to catch up on your own? There's nothing wrong with being inexperienced and letting someone else take the lead.

I agree. Especially if you want to bottom. Having an inexperienced virgin with a big cock pop your cherry is probably not a good idea. He'd likely be very horny and just shove it in fast without enough lube. Not an auspicious start to butt fucking.

 

[borg69unimatrix]

I guess a main point I wanted to make also was, You're going to be wasting a lot of time narrowing down your search to find someone with your (perceived) specific skill levels. You should be focusing on the guy - how he feels and treats you, and how you feel and treat him... If you waste all your time trying to find absolutes like Sexual experience levels, where does that stop? How much he makes? His IQ? What his hobbies are? Height, weight, eye color, hair color, numbers of pubes...

Find someone with whom you're mutually attracted to and trust, let biology take over and everything else will fall into place.

THEN... and only then... can you start griping about him leaving the cap off the toothpaste, that he rolls the TP under instead of over, he snores, leaves his socks in the middle of the floor, has a way too big infatuation with the Muppets, and maybe calls his mom a little more frequently than he should.

 

[TX-Beau]

Yeah, I have to agree "experience level," is a fleeting thing, asshole is forever.

 

[Rolyo85]

I started out at 25 as well and had no problem gaining all the experience I needed. And two gay virgins together is a bad plan. Nobody will judge you for being inexperienced, in fact any normal guy would be happy to help.

 

[KaraBulut]

I guess a main point I wanted to make also was, You're going to be wasting a lot of time narrowing down your search to find someone with your (perceived) specific skill levels. You should be focusing on the guy - how he feels and treats you, and how you feel and treat him...

^This.

Dating isn't a perfect science. There's certain parts of it that everyone has to go through before you learn what you want and you learn how to weed out what you don't want.

Or to use a metaphor- if you want to learn to drive, you don't want to learn with someone who doesn't know how to drive nor do you need a Nascar professional driver as your teacher. You need someone who is patient, who is interested in helping you learn and... someone who you can enjoy spending the time with.

 

[HunterM]

While it's understandable to be insecure and want to start out on an even playing field, I question how realistic it is. There are plenty of experienced cool guys out there who would be willing to take the time to be patient and show you the ropes. In a lot of ways wouldn't that be better than fumbling your ways through it trying to catch up on your own? There's nothing wrong with being inexperienced and letting someone else take the lead.

Great advice!

Most guys don't mind inexperienced guys. If the chemistry is there, they would love to "show you around". Now, that's gay pride!

 

[thenewkcm]

Congratulations to reaching a new point in your journey of life. I'm also 25 and will tell you, when it comes to accepting your sexuality and dating, it is full of adventure and you will constantly learn lessons. Focus on your needs and start socializing!

 

[dairyking469]

I'm 31, very closeted, and still a virgin. I'm still waiting for the right, experienced guy to take my virginity.

 

[Randonneur53]

I'm 31, very closeted, and still a virgin. I'm still waiting for the right, experienced guy to take my virginity.

Same here except I am 53, where to start!!