How to reject a Girl

[GBirdie]

Man.... Gay guys sure have it tough eh, haha.

Well, as the title says, how do I reject a girl.

Okay, first, I'm gay (duh), and somehow I think there's this girl who's interested in me. How do I know? Okay, she's been meeting up with me more often, texting me messages at night, even coming over to my house/room to just to pass me my pen drive when she could just do it the next day I see her at campus..... It's not that it's not good or anything, but I'm just not interested, in her, and in this relationship. I don't feel anything for her, basically (guess it's cause I'm gay?).


So, it might come to a time when I have to tell her I can't go on with this. How do I say it? Btw, she doesn't know I'm gay..... And.... please don't ask me to tell her "I'm gay", that's for another occasion, haha.


Thanks in Advance.

 

[Caeth]

ignore her and tell her you're busy...if you want to be polite.

tell her she's fat if you don't

 

[Coffee]

ignore her and tell her you're busy...if you want to be polite.

tell her she's fat if you don't

--> haha you're so mean
Random-Face, just try to politely avoid her invitations, or you can say that she's not your type or you don't want a relationship yet or lots of reason that people are using. I did use a reason that I just consider the girl is my friend, and I have a secret crush on somebody else (somegirl else) and because it's secret, I don't wanna discuss about it.

 

[G-Lexington]

Tell her you're gay. Ha ha.

Lex

 

[Twistedup]

tell you've recently picked up a meth habit and don't have time for human relationships, unless of course she wants to get high...

 

[backpacker]

The best thing to do is to talk to her. Say something like: "I think we need to talk. I want you to know that I really like hanging out with you, but I'm afraid we may not be on the same page. Just in case you are looking for more than friendship, I don't want to lead you on. I just want to be friends."

If you can't bring yourself to do that, you need to avoid one on one time with her. Hang out in a group. Be nice and friendly, but always sit away from her. When she sends text messages, try to include others in the response as long as the message wasn't personal. What I mean, if she asks about watching a TV show, respond by "X wants to get together to watch Y. Do you guys want to watch it." If she wants to study together, either say you are busy or form a study group. She will get the message.

 

[mascbiguy]

start talking about people you think are good looking when you are hanging out, if youre not out, point out some one who is the total opposite of her. or "yeah i kind of like this girl in my xxxx class" and talk about how youre interested in another person.

if youre out, check out a guy when he walks by, and ask her "hey do you know him, is he gay" hahahhaa

 

[beatleshead]

if she says "I think your cute" then you say "Oh yeah? I think your dad's cute too."

 

[lyconthrope]

ok, since I am one of the few girls hanging around this place I'll give you a girls-eye-view on rejection.

you feel like less of an idiot in the whole thing if you are told sooner rather than later that the person your going after isnt interested.

dont lie! dont even try to, cos you'll end up forgetting what you told her and it will come back and bite you in the ass.
I am not saying be completely honest and come out, since you don't want to right now but just be as plain and open as possible, she might get upset but thats to be expected, better to upset her a little now rather than upset her a lot later.

she may not even want a relationship! some girls are just overly friendly and a little "stalkerish" so really best to establish what it is she wants first, cos if she isnt interested in you that way then saying "i am completely and totally not attracted to you" is a little odd.

just be as honest and kind as you can without spilling the truth, tell her you enjoy her company and like having her around as a friend but that there is no way it will develop to anything more.

(under no circumstances should you use the words "your like a sister to me"......it would be kinder to just punch her in the face)

 

[GBirdie]

(under no circumstances should you use the words "your like a sister to me"......it would be kinder to just punch her in the face)

Hmm, great, a girl, haha. Good thing you're here. But I didn't know about THAT..... why is it so? (I'd most probably would definitely say something like that to a guy though.


Btw, Thanks to everyone who's given so much advice, I appreciate all of them. And since she's known me for quite a while, I can't lie to her about having a girlfriend back in hometown or anything, like someone suggested earlier (she's from the same hometown as me). And I don't think I can bring myself to talk the situation into her. I think I'll just politely reject her invitations and avoid her once in a while, not to the extreme extent though.

Thanks again for all the replies. I'll see how things go.

 

[lyconthrope]

why not tell her "your like a sister to me"...?

even if it IS the truth and that is how feel about her, like she is as close to you as family, its kind of a kick in the ego.

its along the same lines as "its not you, its me" its one of the cliches that girls often hear from guys who think its a nice thing to say to let girls down gently.

heres the thing: girls aren't dumb, girls aren't made of glass (no matter what they tell you or how they behave) we don't shatter when dropped from a great height and the hurt girls feel when they are rejected is not the rejection itself, its the humiliation factor of thinking "how could i have gone that long and not know that he isnt interested and why didnt he just say something"

do what you think is best for the situation you are in, if you dont see her often then avoiding her isnt a problem, as long as you have done nothing to make her think she has a chance then any rejection issues she has are her own and any hurt she feels is of her own making.

(yes, i know, i sound like a heartless bitch but if she has been given no reason to think it is worth her while to persue you romantically then she no one to blame but herself when she ends up being disappointed)

 

[sb]

Instead of looking for bullshit reasons just tell her the truth.

 

[SashaLex]

Gbirdie... I swear we're twins! This girl started these... advances on me also about 2 years ago. She's asked me to accompany her out, ask me out to dinner, etc. Then the day came when she popped the question-

'would be you my boyfriend'

Until that point I've never known another instance where the girl asked the guy out. It took me awhile to compose my reply and I said,

'I really do like you (and the list of her qualities) but at this point I'm just not ready for a relationship'

That was that. The end.

We're still friends though.

 

[954dude]

Be honest and straight to the point. Growing up, being raised by, and learning from my mother and sister...a girl knows when you're bullshitting!