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How would you tell someone...

Fucker29

Fucker29

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...that they're quite effeminate when they think they're masculine, have a lot of issues with, and detest, feminine gay guys?

Yes, this is about someone I know, a gay guy, and I don't think I'll be able to keep my mouth shut much longer. We're...kind of friends (no, nothing more than that). He annoys the living hell outta me...he's one of those people you can only stand talking to for a short period of time and that's 'cause he's one of those chronic complainers, always complaining and whining all day long and then he detests effeminate gays, every now and then making some not so nice comments about them (with a facial expression of disgust), thinks he's masculine when he's not (I know...oh the irony), he's very superficial (he pretty much only cares about looks...to him, looks come before personality - his words), needy and he always talks with that annoying innocent "oh poor me" voice.

Now, he asked me the other day if he looks "gayish" (the expression he used...yeah, funny) and I lied 'cause I know it's a big deal to him...I regret lying now. I should've just told him the truth but since it's a touchy touchy issue, I'm not sure about how to tell him but it must be done.

Have you ever had to tell someone that?
 
Honestly, I'd just call him a great big queen. :P Cutting the crap out is quite good fun and damned good sense tbh. If he can't take the truth, then he'll be angry. Let him be angry, though, what does it matter?
 
Transpogue said:
Quick question.

Why are you friends with this guy?

It sounds like you don't really enjoy his company. Friends should be able to be pretty honest with each other and not freak out if then get an opinion of their behavior that takes them by surprise. If he's asking, "Do I look gayish?", he most likely already knows he does, or whatever the fuck he thinks "gayish" looks like.

So, being honest with him might be a way to cut the crap with him and perhaps give him a bit of an attitude adjustment.
Click to expand...

I only knew he was like this after knowing him for a while, when those subjects came up. And I have called him out on a lot of his bullshit. But I'm gonna have to tell him the truth about him being feminine...and he has so many issues and I don't need another fucked up, co-dependent person around me. Gonna have to put him in his place.
 
Jeimuzu said:
Honestly, I'd just call him a great big queen. :P Cutting the crap out is quite good fun and damned good sense tbh. If he can't take the truth, then he'll be angry. Let him be angry, though, what does it matter?
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ditto....tell him....he deserves to know the truth
 
in response to the " do i look gay-ish"
my answer " well i wouldnt say ish"
 
Just tell him that he is a piece of trash for shying away from his own real self.
 
Wajdan said:
Just tell him that he is a piece of trash for shying away from his own real self.
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Yeah, I don't think saying he's a piece of trash would really help, considering his self-esteem issues.
 
Fucker29 said:
Yeah, I don't think saying he's a piece of trash would really help, considering his self-esteem issues.
Click to expand...

Sometimes you have to be up-front and loud especially in his case.:D
 
You said in your OP that it was BIG DEAL for him...

In THAT case -- I'd just continue reassuring him that he is "straight acting" and giggle every now and then when he acts outlandishly gay...

Thats how I would deal with it...

:):):)
 
swerve said:
You said in your OP that it was BIG DEAL for him...

In THAT case -- I'd just continue reassuring him that he is "straight acting" and giggle every now and then when he acts outlandishly gay...

Thats how I would deal with it...

:):):)
Click to expand...

Than I'd be spending the whole time giggling.
 
Wajdan said:
Sometimes you have to be up-front and loud especially in his case.:D
Click to expand...

Yeah sorry but calling someone a piece of trash isn't being up-front nor honest...it's unnecessarily mean.
 
Fucker29 said:
...that they're quite effeminate when they think they're masculine, have a lot of issues with, and detest, feminine gay guys?

Yes, this is about someone I know, a gay guy, and I don't think I'll be able to keep my mouth shut much longer. We're...kind of friends (no, nothing more than that). He annoys the living hell outta me...he's one of those people you can only stand talking to for a short period of time and that's 'cause he's one of those chronic complainers, always complaining and whining all day long and then he detests effeminate gays, every now and then making some not so nice comments about them (with a facial expression of disgust), thinks he's masculine when he's not (I know...oh the irony), he's very superficial (he pretty much only cares about looks...to him, looks come before personality - his words), needy and he always talks with that annoying innocent "oh poor me" voice.

Now, he asked me the other day if he looks "gayish" (the expression he used...yeah, funny) and I lied 'cause I know it's a big deal to him...I regret lying now. I should've just told him the truth but since it's a touchy touchy issue, I'm not sure about how to tell him but it must be done.

Have you ever had to tell someone that?
Click to expand...


1. tell him to STFU and stop bitching
2. Tell him to look in the mirror and rationally judge himself based on what he sees, not what he wants to.

I have always tried to be upfront and honest, it gets me in trouble sometimes for being too blunt, but people around me know exactly where they stand with me.

It really works well, but it takes some getting used to.
 
The "pot calling the kettle black" has been a pet peeve of mine for a long time. A lot of anti-fem's are major queens themselves. I just ignore them and hope they catch on.
 
BabiGayPimp just wrote the line I was going to suggest. The next time he disses effeminate men just say: "Now, that's the pot calling the kettle black!" That should at least make him stop and think a minute.
..|mojoe54
 
too bad u cant secretly video him, he prolly has no idea what he even looks like when he is sashaying around town.
 
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