How would you tell someone...

[JUB]

I would just get to the point and say that he isn't what he thinks he is. Help the poor guy out!

 

[Telstra]

...that they're quite effeminate when they think they're masculine, have a lot of issues with, and detest, feminine gay guys?

Yes, this is about someone I know, a gay guy, and I don't think I'll be able to keep my mouth shut much longer. We're...kind of friends (no, nothing more than that). He annoys the living hell outta me...he's one of those people you can only stand talking to for a short period of time and that's 'cause he's one of those chronic complainers, always complaining and whining all day long and then he detests effeminate gays, every now and then making some not so nice comments about them (with a facial expression of disgust), thinks he's masculine when he's not (I know...oh the irony), he's very superficial (he pretty much only cares about looks...to him, looks come before personality - his words), needy and he always talks with that annoying innocent "oh poor me" voice.

Now, he asked me the other day if he looks "gayish" (the expression he used...yeah, funny) and I lied 'cause I know it's a big deal to him...I regret lying now. I should've just told him the truth but since it's a touchy touchy issue, I'm not sure about how to tell him but it must be done.

Have you ever had to tell someone that?

you can't change a person's behaviour. Let him be.
Otherwise you might have a major fight with him or something.

 

[Rick18]

The "pot calling the kettle black" has been a pet peeve of mine for a long time. A lot of anti-fem's are major queens themselves. I just ignore them and hope they catch on.

I agree with this. These are the only types of people to call me a queen also. I tend to think I'm more fem, anyway, but these people are just too annoying to be around. I say just ignore him, if he asks why, just tell him that you can't take being around self-loathing people.

 

[Fucker29]

you can't change a person's behaviour. Let him be.
Otherwise you might have a major fight with him or something.

I'm not trying to change his behavior. I've told him what I think about his constant complaining and I have called him out on a lot of his bullshit...if that changes him or not, it's up to him, not me. And as if I'm worried about having a fight with him...LOL...I was fighting with him once, his reaction was...guess what? Whining with that "oh poor me" voice. lol...yeah, I'm scared of that.

And that "you can't change a person's behavior. let him be." is not as simple as that. If that was true then why fight against homophobia and racism...after all, you can't change a person's behavior, right?

 

[Fucker29]

Dude, have you not read what I've said like two times already here? I HAVE called him out on his bullshit and issues immediately...the effeminate gays, the superficiality, all of it...if you were there you would've seen how merciless I was with him...I wasn't an asshole (although I'm sure he thinks I was being one) but I gave him a healthy dose of tough love.
This is the only thing I haven't talked about with him...him thinking he's masculine when he's not...'cause I understand he's not at all acceptant of himself as gay and is a big deal to him. He's not out and doesn't want to be...when it's kinda obvious he's gay so it's a sensitive issue.

 

[Jayden]

Just tell him he is a big ol mary and walk away from this debbie downer.