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How's your relationship with your Dad?

mikey3000

mikey3000

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This was hinted at on another thread, and I couldn't find a similar discussion, so I was just wondering. In general terms, how was the relationship with your Dad?

For me, my Dad died when I was very young (10) and before that, he was often away on work, so he was not around much at all. Even when he was around he wasn't.
 
Great! I was very lucky to have two wonderful parents.
 
I stay away if it can be helped and am cordial otherwise.
 
my father and me aren't close at all. it's a one side relationship where it basically revolves around him and what he wants. he's more interested in me basically giving him all the attention or whatever. kind of like how a parent is to a child where the parent has to basically live around their child, giving him/her attention and etc. anything that pertains to me is basically what he wants whether it's the topic of discussion or food. it's very draining. i basically try to avoid him because it's really pointless talking to him because he'll ignore me and then talk about whatever is on his mind expecting me to respond back to him when he basically disrespected me to my face. plus you never know what bullshit he'll try to pull since he's known to do whether it's suddenly begging me for money to help him with whatever or something else. i love my father though even if he hasn't been the best father in the world to me. my bro might say something different because my father and him are able to talk about sports and sports is something my father is into. my father treats him the same way though. i can't change the guy who he is but i feel that it's best him and me just stay distant though. we can coexist just not in the same room or house. i just can't be around somebody that operates like how he does. it's basically dehumanizing and depressing. i still don't get how my mother stayed with him for that long, carrying him on her back while at the same time he's disrespecting her blatantly and the whole nine.
 
My dad died when I was 16 but we had a good relationship and I know we would have been great friends if he was still here today.
 
It was always bad, it will always be bad.

He was a village policeman for forty years. A figure of respect and used to people doing what he wants. Having a gay son who wasn't going into the police, hates football and didn't bring girls home was too much for him. Resentment is in his voice is in every telephone call. My brothers kids are his life and he thinks my life is wasted not having them.

To be honest, not many people get on with him now he is retired. I have seen people cross the road to avoid him when waling their dogs. Once a policeman, always a policeman.

Gay people to him are people he used to arrest in the early sixties.
 
My father was brought up in a very "formal" home. As such, he's always had trouble being as open about his feelings as he'd like. However, he's always tried to. He's tried to be there, and tried to talk with us about everything, even when it was clearly very uncomfortable to him. So I greatly appreciate the effort put in by him. And our relationship has always been solid. I still talk to him on a regular basis, he likes my partner, everything's cool.

Lex
 
Pretty good. We're both the reticent type, so there are no hour-long gab sessions or anything, but he is and always has been a great father to me.
 
Back in the days it was pretty good till my parents got divorced when I was 11yo since then I dont like to be around him, dunno why, I try to but I just dont like it
 
not all that close..I wish we were but there is always some awkward feeling in the room...Maybe I should talk to him more often..What do you guys think about that ?

P.s he love football and he always wanna know who I'm dating He don't know that I'm gay
 
I have an excellent relationship with both parents. My Dad was very strict when I was growing up. I knew to behave or he would get after me with his belt. He mellowed in his old age and has a great sense of humour.
 
My dad wasnt the greatest father growing up but he wasnt a bad father either. As I got into my teens and realized I was gay i pulled away from him and my mother because I didnt think they could handle it if I told them and besides we didnt discuss that kind of "thing". In his own way he was ALWAYS there for me but I just didnt realize it at the time. When i got older I started to get close to him to build up to the moment when i was going to tell him "everything" but He died in a house fire saving my mom and other brother...so I never got the chance. The point is I guess is dont wait too long to make peace with your own dads. It took me a long time to get past that and it still bothers me to this day. The anniversary of his death is next week....April 13. I hope you all will forgive me for going on like that...
 
Thanks everyone. It's all very theraputic, especially for me.

As I said at the start, my Dad died when I was 10, but before that he was a cronic alcoholic and abused/humiliated his children at every turn. I was kind of relieved when he died a painful death from cancer, but I supressed a lot of feelings about it too. Didn't revisit his death till my mid thirties, when I discovered how being raised without a male role model affected who I was as an adult/husband/parent. I was having a career crisis and realised I had no one to turn to for guidance and discovered that there was a massive hole in my life where a Dad should have been. :(
 
I talk to him on the phone several times a week. Our conversations always end with "I love you." He lives a pretty good distance away, but we still visit 5-6 times a year.
 
50/50 Not bad not great. I don't meet his expectations and he doesn't meet mine. I do love and respect him though, but not the way I should imo.
 
My dad has always been like a piece of furniture in my life, sadly
 
My dad worked hard, was an alchoholic, and kinda henpecked too. I distanced myself during my turbulent teens, but as I grew older we got on great. He died in '99 and it hurt real bad that he went. I miss him.
 
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