How's your relationship with your Dad?

[teadrinker]

Mine died in 1996; before that we had been estranged for three years (I only knew he'd died because some policeman turned up on my doorstep and asked me to identify his body). As a youngster I idolized him, but he was a man with huge problems: unable to maintain a relationship with my mother, he had a string of affairs, and at the end of life became an incontinent alcoholic derelict who finished his days in a Salvation Army hostel. I miss him, but I don't miss the shell of a man he became.

-T.

 

[BlondeCanadian]

Growing up it was sort of strenuous because my moms was a bit of a crazy nazis and he never would cross her. but used it explode when I crossed the line in fighting with her.

but now that I am 21 I am good friends with both of my parents, it is pretty good once your parents stop trying to parent you and like the person youve become

 

[TickTockMan]

I got to meet my father once not counting when I was a baby.


All I really remember about him was that he use to call and talk to my mother and brother (who was not his), but would refuse to talk to me. After a while my mother would no longer take his calls if he didn’t talk to me so the calls stopped coming.


I do know I have a lot of half siblings, but I know nothing about them, besides I am the oldest.

 

[Drugstore Cowboy]

great actually, he's possibly the most open minded person in my WHOLE family. my mom on the other had..... oi!!!

 

[Brtyui]

non existent.

he felt he couldn't share his problems with his family or atleast let him know we were there for him and kept himself away , and i got tired of caring.

the end

 

[The_Reaper]

We're close, but we often butt heads. He has more in common with my brother, so we don't do a lot of activities together, but we have our fun when it's just the two of us...usually playing Wii golf or the like.

He's also been great with the whole me being gay thing, which is a major plus...and was unexpected as well. But yeah, good all round.

 

[Puddle]

It's alright, which is kind of important seeing as I still live with him. We don't really talk, save for random exchanges pertaining to food, but that has more to do with my own sequestered proclivity than any genuine some other website.

 

[Racer Dave]

Okay I guess, we speak often and visit two or three times a month, I'm afraid however he's quite homophobic so after next week this may change

 

[mikey3000]

What's happening next week?

 

[Georgiadude]

My dad died September 23. I miss him so much. I had the BEST dad in the world. I can remember the last time I spoke with him. It was the day before he died and I can remember almost every word. At the end of the conversation he told me how much he loved me. I'd give anything to have just 5 more minutes with him.

I really feel bad for those that didn't or don't have a good relationship with their dads. I couldn't have asked for a better dad. We didn't have a lot of money or the best of anything but we had a roof over our head, food in our stomachs and never an ounce of doubt that he loved us very much. He did the very best he could and I'd say he did one hell of a job. I'm very proud of my dad.

Steven.

 

[ZmercTheDuke]

My father and I are very close to a point, When I was younger like 1-10 I didnt see him much. He was that classic case of suburb workaholic, he worked every day of the week to make extra money, even though he was making 6 figures and didnt really need the money. Then his 3 business went under and moved half way across the country to a rural town, He then become much more laybacked from work and he tried to make up for lost time. Hes a giant teddy bear and very loving. I dont get to spend much time with him though, because my older brother has a some metal handicap, and is always around him 24/7 it gets a bit annoying some times, when im visiting home and want to spend time with him but cant.

 

[BINOWGAYLATER]

hmmm...where to begin --

He was busy "working" when I was a kid.
(I lived with my grandma after Mom d ied)
He "said" he loved me -- but he never showed it in any way a kid could understand.
He loved his work more - it seems - and his second wife -- (who I never liked) --
He couldn't travel to my wedding beause (she) didn't wanna go, and he didn't have the balls to overrule her -- or maybe he didn't wanna go either -

I can't recall one time when he ever said he was proud of me -- in school or in successes in my job -- even when I shoveled shit against the tide and did things at work that everybody said 'couldn't be done" --
When I was out of work -( and he had lots of money) - he never offered a penny to help --


When he was sick - every phone call ended in "i love you" -- but apparently it was a lie -- since he left everything to the Stepmother
He's been gone almost 2 years - -can't say I miss him

That' the super short version -- If anybody is travelling and needs some "baggage" -- I got plenty to go around.

 

[Wcw10891]

i have to admit that im legit crying right now at the nice entries, reading that people had or have a great relationship with thier fathers, and it makes me jealous to be honest.

i wish i didnt get so emotional over this father stuff cause in the long run who is he? why do i care?

in my first 18 years of life i never knew him, no letters, no cards, no visits.

back in november of 2008, i was in art class with this kid ppl kept picking on, and then the jocks in the class who i hated were sayign we were brother, cause i guess we looked alike. then i went to my mom and asked if he was possibly my brother and she said yes. hes my half brother.

long story short, i got in contact with my half brother, and my father, we started talking in late 2009, and everything was weird but good, he has a wife and 3 more kids in florida. we talked for almost a year, and i went to visit for a week on spring break, very emotionally charged visit. and it was good.

november of 2010 things got tense up here in jersey, and he offered me to stay with him, so i quit my job packed my shit in my car, and drove to florida, needless to say i was driving back to jersey 2 days shy of a month.

i hated it, things really get put into perspective when you live with someone, and it jsut didnt work out. so between chistmas 2010 and valentines day 2011, all we did was fight over how things went when i lived there, what he did wrong, what i did wrong and so on.

At that point i made a great desicion and told him i never wanted to speak with him or his family every again, and proceeded to go through my phone, facebook, and personal items and destroy anything that reminded me of him (pictures, phone numbers, letters, e mail, facebooks). and just this past february its been over a year since i talked,texted, or saw him, and i couldnt be happier to be honest.

while i did like the short time we spent together, there are jsut too many issues that need to be worked out, especially in an absense of 18 years, couples counseling would probaly work wonders for us, but ive closed and sealed that chapter of my life. i wait for the day he grows balls for once in his life and tries to call me.

sorry for the novel didnt expect it to be that long, just needed to get it out, alot of these stories have actually helped me, hopefully i can do that for someone else.

 

[Racer Dave]

What's happening next week?

My dear Grandmother let slip that I'm gay and he called me in a huff. He used the dreaded words "We need to talk". And I'm away this whole weekend so going to meet him in Tuesday night ... can't wait

 

[Rubber Rat]

I have a wonderful relationship with my dad. I'm totally out to all of my family and friends. He and I share the same off-beat sense of humor.

 

[aberro21]

my dad didn't raise me but he has always made sure he was part of my life. now as an adult we have a pretty cool relationship. we hangout sometimes and talk a few times a week.
i don't know how things will change when he finds out i like to suck dick. lol

 

[jslvr05]

I stay away if it can be helped and am cordial otherwise.

That's how I am with all of my family.

 

[mikey3000]

My dear Grandmother let slip that I'm gay and he called me in a huff. He used the dreaded words "We need to talk". And I'm away this whole weekend so going to meet him in Tuesday night ... can't wait

Oh my!! I wish you well. Let us know how it goes.

Thanks everyone for great stories. It helps put things in perspective for me. Please continue.

 

[bankside]

My father effectively passed away almost 15 years ago.

If I were bothered by the subsequent zombie, a restraining order would probably take care of it.

 

[Rusty Crown]

Both my parents played a good number on me - don't get me wrong they weren't assholes, they didn't abandon me or anything - they are both the youngest among their siblings, and apparently it didn't work pretty well with them so they decided to make it up to themselves through me as I am their youngest son. How can I explain? to make you get the picture they still call me honey - I'm 24 - my father still tells me not to open the door to anyone every time he leaves the house. When I cross a street with them they hold my hand to walk me! They still call me kiddo. I'm now totally dependent and insecure, it's so difficult to make any decision. Furthermore, they are both childish, very childish.