Hypothetical question.

[Phlash]

Alright. I've made a few of these threads, and usually it's just me being a dumbass. So if you didn't like those threads, leave this one now. Because this is going to be the dumbest one yet.

Alright. Anyone that's still with me. Hypothetical question....

Lets say that you are born with a super power. But your super power is that you can shoot bird seed out of your hand. Like, rapid speed. Anytime you want. So you're showing off for people outside of some mall, and this dude comes up and just starts throwing bird seed all over the place. But he's throwing it out of a pouch.

So you go up to him and go "Hey man, get the hell out of here. This is my area."

And he wants to get all sassy with you like "Hey, MAN (mocking how you called him "man" because I guess that's not cool anymore) I'll throw bird seed where I want. It's the same thing that you're doing."

And of course, you explain to him that this is completely different. Because you can actually shoot bird seed out of your fucking palms, and he's just throwing it out of a pouch and pretending like it's the same thing. But of course he doesn't listen.

So the two of you get into a fight. And he's kicking and punching you... but you call on a bird suit (you shoot bird seed all around you and birds form a suit around your body.) But they're just birds though so he kind of just kicked through them and they fly away. So you call on bird sword (which is just a bunch of birds that form into a sword) but they all fly away when you try to strike him with them.

Just then, a giant monster attacks the city! Who gives a shit what that monster looks like. I'm too lazy to come up with a description. Honestly, I can only flesh out one or two dumbass characters a time.

So you, who can naturally shoot bird seed out of your hands, starts to build the ultimate weapon. Oh course, the big monster that I haven't decided how to describe is still attacking whatever city. So you call on the guy who just throws bird seed out of a pouch to help you out. He agrees and holds the monster off while you continually shoot bird seed into the air. Your monstrosity roars to life. The great Birdzilla (A Godzilla type creature that is made of birds) takes it's first breath and releases it with a blood curdling scream. Bird seed pouch dude is dead by now. But I mean, whatever. 98% of the time you knew him, he was a dick.

Birdzilla actually ends up getting shit done. So that's the end of that. I really didn't have a hypothetical question. I just wanted to type a bunch. I like you guys. How was your Christmas?

 

[chrisw87]

Your a dick, now I'm sitting here as imaginary birdman with no crime to fight!

 

[Lehans]

Cute story =]

 

[palbert]

Had me waiting on Stan Lee to make an appearance. Enjoyed the "typing."

Christmas was Christmas, what else can you say?

 

[blackbeltninja]

I'm nominating this for Best Thread of 2011.

Merry Christmas to you, Phlash. Mine was good. Scored a bunch of loot and ate myself into a coma, followed by a stint at the local nude beach this morning to get my tan on. Hooray for December in the southern hemisphere!

-d-

 

[bluboi89]

hahahahahahaha

 

[Soilwork]

Ok but if you're a super hero, why would you waste Time trying to impress the kind of losers who would go to a mall?

 

[star-warrior]

Lol, I was on tenterhooks until you said that thing about not being a hypothetical question.

Gave me a chuckle.

My christmas was with family. After baking three different cakes and using about a three quarters of a kilo of butter, drove up the A1 about 50 miles to see my sis and we did karaoke that was blood curdling bad on the ears. Had fun, had a family chin wag about our late mum, and had 4 different puddings with custard. Got home at 9 pm and was knackered.

 

[Ram]

This is why I don't read anything with more than one paragraph at JUB.

Xmas was ok. Family gathering, birthday celebration. I was down with some gastric problems; I didn't enjoy the whole experience that much though.

 

[FPNY]

my hair hurts from yesterday......

 

[jensu846]

whatever you are on Phlash , I'll take some of that!. what an imagination!

 

[mbamike]

You should watch Alfred Hitchcock's movie "The Birds." It will give you a new perspective on how destructive ordinary birds can be.

My Christmas was good. Had a nice dinner and watched some football.

 

[zoltanspawn]

I think Birdzilla is pretty weak and would be beaten by most monsters.

Victories might be had against monstrous dustbunnies or gargantuan tissue papers, but few others.

The nicest part of my christmas was a dram of quince-infused cognac.

 

[snoopydog]

Yeah I'm fuckin drunk too.

Good story though.

Let's fuck!

 

[Phlash]

Yeah I'm fuckin drunk too.

Good story though.

Let's fuck!

Well this guy understand where this all came from. Haha. I really do need a breathalyzers attached to my keyboard.

I think Birdzilla is pretty weak and would be beaten by most monsters.

Woah, woah, woah. Now you don't understand the destructive force of bird shit. My uncle told me once about how he was tuning up this engine, and he turned his head to the side and a bird shit right in his ear. He's convinced that it's the reason that he is deaf in his ear. He explained that one of his friends had a bird shit in his eye, and now that friend is blind in that eye. So with that said, Birdzilla is going to be creating a LOT of bird shit. You find your way in the middle of that...... good luck to you, sir.

 

[zoltanspawn]

Woah, woah, woah. Now you don't understand the destructive force of bird shit. My uncle told me once about how he was tuning up this engine, and he turned his head to the side and a bird shit right in his ear. He's convinced that it's the reason that he is deaf in his ear. He explained that one of his friends had a bird shit in his eye, and now that friend is blind in that eye. So with that said, Birdzilla is going to be creating a LOT of bird shit. You find your way in the middle of that...... good luck to you, sir.

So, Birdzilla poops its opponents into submission? I'm now giving greater odds to the gargantuan Tissue Paper! Its power of super absorbency will surely defeat anything hurled its way...

 

[Phlash]

So, Birdzilla poops its opponents into submission? I'm now giving greater odds to the gargantuan Tissue Paper! Its power of super absorbency will surely defeat anything hurled its way...

Damn. You couldn't be more right about that.

 

[rareboy]

My Christmas hasn't ended yet.

But I didn't get a new bong like you did.

 

[Sigma-taylor-E]

...Um...are you high???