I absolutely hate gay dating applications!

[BlakeV]

I have to add to this. I've been on gay dating apps for about 5 years. I had two dates in 5 years from the apps. I've been ignored and blocked dozens of times. Yeah, it hurts but I understand - most guys are looking for models and i'm not one. Even guys on my level are looking for models. Our profiles are a pretty good match, we like the same stuff, are looking for the same thing, but it all comes down to looks. I completely agree that there is a lot of missing out when you just aren't interested based on looks, but I also have been told if there's no mutual attraction then it's not going to go anywhere. I agree with that also. HOWEVER, I can't always tell how I feel about someone just by a picture. I have messaged guys I wasn't attracted to 100% just to see if we click in other ways - who knows, maybe after a drink or a quick date I may feel differently. I've had some yell at me (via text) because I didn't start conversations about how hot they were - seriously? I thoughhim hat wasn't really a good icebreaker. Keep in mind i'm on dating apps, not hook up apps and i've clearly stated I was looking to date. I've also been turned down for dates because I didn't post or send shirtless pictures to them - must be a new requirement to go out with someone.

You're right, the dating pool is very small and we keep dismissing people. I've taken a break from it all - it was time consuming to read profiles, come up with ways to start conversations, find common interests only to be rejected. It's even worse when they do respond, things are going well, and right when I ask them to meet, their gone.

The problem isn't really with the people, it's with the apps. When people use these apps, they'll always go for the best looking one. There's a psychological reason behind it I can't explain. As I said, my first boyfriend wasn't attractive to me but I fell in love with him. I'm not looking for a model either. In fact, I don't wanna end up with 1 because most of these men cheat XD

Sure, I agree with that.
Having just the theoretical stuff isn't enough. In theory we should be fine with just personality. But it's often more complicated.
However, there's a psychological effect known as the 'mere exposure effect' which is that the more we're exposed to something, or in this case someone, the more likely we are to view it favorably. Someone you don't find attractive on your first meeting could start to pique your interest after being around them a bit more.
Of course it's complicated and there's a lot going on; there's an effect that's basically the opposite where repeated exposure increases unfavorability.

For example, people who fall for friends. They start off friends with no attraction for each other then begin to develop it. They haven't necessarily become hotter. So why the change in attraction? I suspect the mere exposure effect plays a part.

Oh, the mere exposure effect is what I was trying to explain to you why I'm looking for a long term monogamous relationship. Appearances don't play a very important role in a relationship. It's almost nonexistent to me during a good relationship when me and my partner share good chemistry. Most people who meet from dating apps don't last long because it all comes down to the chemistry. No matter how hot you look, if there's no chemistry, the relationship won't work. Too many people don't understand that and still search for someone who looks even hotter than their previous date.

When I mentioned in my post that I ignore people if their appearances don't appeal to me, I didn't mean I was looking for the hottest guy in the world. People like me who don't care much about appearances aren't looking for someone with the greatest features and perfect physique, they're looking for someone who looks in a "good condition". Appearances might not be important like I mentioned earlier, but they definitely play a major role in first impressions, and first impressions are very important.

 

[Kienny]

You might be taking these apps just a bit too seriously. Low expectations.

Don't come onto these apps thirstily seeking a relationship. Try to go with a "go with the flow" mentality and you may be less disappointed.

Or just wait until you move.

 

[BlakeV]

That's exactly what I'm doing right now. I'm waiting until I move. I'm just using these apps to find hookups to pass some time. These people are irritating though :S

 

[Kienny]

It just comes with the territory and that'll never change. You'll may find some rare gems like you and me. I dont live where you do though